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“Okay, so I guess fostering is at the bottom of our list.”
“Thank God for poor little Gino,” Sarah mumbles. I roll my eyes and flip the page.
“Our next possibility is having a surrogate. Andie, this is where you come in.”
“Wait, what?” Her eyes widen comically. “No. Absolutely not. I love you guys, but I’m not carrying a baby for you. Those days are done.”
“Jeez, good to know we can’t count on you…but that’s not what I need. Can you take pictures of Connor and me? We’d like to put a look-book together for potential birth moms and surrogates. Maybe Mandy could write little tidbits throughout since you guys are nowNew York Timesbest-selling authors?”
“Oh, notNew York Times.” Andie laughs nervously, her eyes ping-ponging from me to the camera. “But, I’d be honored. I know Mandy will make time. She just finished up the Spain book I photographed last summer.”
“Ex-cellent-o. Okay ladies, flip to surrogate number one. I gathered these bios from a surrogate website, but I’m not sure about them, which is why I’m asking for your help.”
“Wait, why aren’t you asking me or Sarah to be a surrogate?” Kiki asks.
“Kinks, no offense, but you’re not exactly a spring chicken anymore.”
“I’m thirty-two—”
“And let’s be honest, your children are the devils incarnate. I love them, but cheese and rice,no thank you. Besides, I’ve seen what you consume when you’re preggers, and you get super cranky and bloated. It’s not a good look for you.” I sigh and smile at sweet, lovable Sarah, placing my hand over my heart. “And Sare Bear, I totes love you, but your kids are kind of weird, and Wyatt cries a lot. I hope you understand.”
“I didn’t want to be a surrogate, anyway.” Sarah looks miffed.
“I think I can speak for the both of us when I say we’re totally offended. You have officially lost your bestie card.” Kiki folds her arms over her chest and looks right at the camera.
I sigh and look up at the ceiling. “Kinky, you’re killing my mojo vibe right now. Can we continue? Okay, so this one isnotmy favorite, but I think Connor will like her. Her name is Amy and she’s from Seattle. She started as a surrogate when her best friend couldn’t have a baby, and has since carried two more. She’s very selective andsuperexpensive, in my opinion.”
“How much are we talking?” Andie arches an eyebrow.
“Well, she’s on the high end. Around a hundred and fifty thousand plus expenses and the IVF.” I bite my lip, avoiding eye contact.
Sarah splutters tea on her shirt, causing Oreo to jump down off the loveseat.
“Holy crap, that’s a lot of money! And you’d have to go to Seattle, or would she live here with you?” Andie asks.
“Seattle. She’s not willing to leave. We would have to do a lot of flying back and forth, which I’m not crazy about, but I’d do it if she were the perfect fit for us. I’m worried she’ll drink a lot of coffee while on the job.”
“Is that in her bio?” Kiki scans the sheet, her brows knitted.
“No, but she lives in the coffee mecca of the United States. She probably works at Starbucks or that horrid seawater they call Seattle’s Best.” I shiver in disgust.
“Did you even read her bio? She works for a tech start-up,” Andie points out.
I flip the page, ignoring her. “K, next! Rebecca from Indiana, who has never been a surrogate before, but she’s less expensive, coming in at forty-five thousand plus expenses and she’s very enthusiastic about the job. One major problem, she doesn’t have insurance.”
“No offense, TJ, but she doesn’t look very healthy, either.” Sarah frowns at the picture.
“She looks like she drinks Mountain Dew on the regular,” Kiki says.
“Why do you say that?” I ask.
“Because she’s holding a bottle of Mountain Dew.”
“Is that a bag of fast food on her car behind her? I don’t mean to be judgy, but do you want her carrying your baby for nine months?” Sarah asks.
“I’d take Starbucks girl over her. It says here, she works at Wendy’s,” Andie observes.
“Well, we can’t all be at tech start-ups, can we, girls? She did promise us free Frosties and fries every Friday, so that’s a win in my book.” I clear my throat and flip the page. “The next one is my personal fave, Penny from Van Nuys, California. We’d be her last clients because she’s getting too old.”
