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“Maybe I have. So, what?”
“All I’m saying is I think you might be surprised by what would happen if you decided to switch things up.”
“If I switch things up, I’ll potentially have more seizures for everyone to deal with, and I’ll have more doctor appointments, and I’ll have to have my blood drawn constantly to make sure my organs aren’t shutting down. So, no. No, thank you. Switching things up and rocking the boat sounds pretty freaking miserable.”
“So, you’d rather have a shit memory affecting your day-to-day life?” I challenge.
“Better it messes with me than with everyone else around me too.”
“Everyone else around you wants you to be happy.”
“I am happy,” she argues. “Just a little forgetful sometimes.”
“And the idea of trying new medication…?”
“Sounds like more effort than it’s worth,” she finishes.
“You do you, boo,” I murmur, repeating her words from a few minutes ago. “No matter what it is. No matter how long it takes to find what makes you happy. You do you. Even if it’s outside of biochemistry. Even if it’s something simple and doesn’t make much money or is outside the box. Even if it involves switching up your medication so you can focus better. You doyou. Okay?”
Her sigh echoes through the speaker. “I’ll try.”
“Good. I’ll pick you up in a few.”
“Yup.” Relief fills her words like she’s grateful for the subject change. And to be honest, so am I.
“I’m all packed and ready,” she adds.
“Good. Me too. See you soon.”
“Bye.”
I hang up and push the gas pedal a little harder––anything to see Kate as soon as possible.
Because fuck me, I miss her.
I miss her a lot.
35
MACKLIN
She’s been chewing on her nails the entire drive. I shouldn’t find it adorable, but I do. The way she fidgets in the passenger seat. Glancing at me. Staring out the window. Shifting. Crossing her legs. Folding her arms. Picking at her split ends.
Adorable.
Not great for my own nerves, but hey. I guess I’ll take it.
I haven’t met someone’s parents in almost two decades. Doing it when you’re fifteen versus thirty-four are two different experiences. I didn’t care when I was a teenager. Didn’t think they’d be my in-laws one day. Didn’t think in general unless it was with my dick.
Man, I was a freaking kid before.
Now, though?
When I’m capable of understanding my own feelings and where I want my future to go, along with my desire to have Kate in it?
I tap my fingers against the steering wheel and bring my attention back to the road.
It’s a different beast. One I’m not familiar with.
