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“How?”
“By showing you every day,” he said. “By doing the work, even when you question things that I know to be true.”
I bit my lip. “Things like what?” I asked.
He was quiet for a moment, just looking at me. And then, he smiled a soft smile. “Like the fact that you fit my life the way no other woman, no other person has. And the fact that you make my life better, makemebetter. And the fact that I love you, of course.”
My heart fluttered, and my body felt like it was filled with helium. I was flying up and away, buoyed by the promise of his love and devotion. But before I could be taken away completely, I squared my shoulders.
“Okay, but what does that love mean?” I pressed. “The truth of the matter is that I still don’t fit in your world. I’m an outsider. I will never have your upbringing, and I will always be seen as lesser-than in your corner of society. What is different from before?”
“I’mdifferent.” He picked up my hands again. “I’ve been going to therapy, and really working shit out. I’ve learned that my feelings about myself and my worth are all tied up in what my mom valued in me. She wanted a successful first son, and I took on that mantle, despite having my own needs and just wanting to be loved for the person I am.
“But you gave me what my therapist calls unconditional acceptance. You were the first person in a long time that told me that you had my back, no matter what. And from then on, it didn’t matter that you ‘fit’ into my world. I didn’t care about your image or what it would do for mine. All I cared about—all I care about—is you.”
“Other people care,” I insisted. “Zeke does. His wife even made it a point to talk to me.”
He frowned at this. “What do you mean?”
My eyes filled with tears as I remembered the night of our rehearsal dinner. “I went to the bathroom after overhearing you talk about your assistant and how she needed to chill, and I bumped into Zeke’s wife. She said I should know my place in life and that it would never work out between me and you because I just didn’t fit. She told me I might as well get a divorce and save myself the trouble, because no matter what I did, I couldn’t…” I inhaled, my breath shaky with tears and emotion. “...I could never meet your expectations.”
Nathan sat back, hand over his forehead. “Wow.Wow.”
“Yeah.” I sniffled. “It was what caused me to confirm my spot in this program and decide to leave in the summer as opposed to fall. I figured the farther away I was, the easier it would be for me to let go of you. Better to leave than to be left.”
“That’s rich.” When my eyes widened, he quickly added, “It’s rich, no pun intended, that she said that to you. Word in our family is that she filed for divorce from Zeke about two weeks ago. He’s been licking his wounds, so no one has seen him, but I’ve heard that he’s devastated.”
I gasped. “Really?”
“Really. Hell, maybe she was talking about herself that night—because no matter what she did,no onein our family liked her. She was constantly reminded of her status and place. Though I think that had more to do with who she married,” he mused.
“Wow,” I said, echoing Nathan from moments before. “That’s…well, I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Me either.” Nathan laughed. “But it fits, I guess.”
“Well, even though they’re getting divorced, it still doesn’t take away from the fact that other family members might feel that way,” I said. “And you feel this way now, but how do I know you’ll feel the same way ten years from now?”
“I won’t feel the same way about you ten years from now.”
I blinked, trying to stem more tears.I knew it, I thought.
“I will feel more strongly about us in ten years,” he continued. “Listen, Ciara, I have never known love like this until I met you, and I refuse to give it up. I will fight for us every day. I willchooseyou every day. It doesn’t matter if my family doesn’t accept you—which is ridiculous, by the way, because they’re all mad at me for letting you be down here by yourself and have given me shit for it. But that’s not the point. You’re it for me. And I’m willing to prove it.”
I sucked in a breath, the tears falling before I could stop them. “You’re really sure about this?” I whispered.
He scooted closer to me, bringing his hands to cradle my head. “Yes,” he said, smiling.
His thumbs brushed away my tears almost as quickly as they fell. I held onto his wrists, finally feeling my body relax. I knew I needed to learn to speak up for what I wanted, instead of burying those desires under everyone else’s. Still, the risk of losing Nathan if I didn’t speak up would encourage me to do the work, to get whatever help I needed that would help me accept his love for what it was—strong and true, unconditional and not contingent on me meeting his needs in just the right way.
“I love you,” I said. “Forever and ever.”
“I love you too, Cinderelly,” he said. “Forever.”
Epilogue - Two Years Later
CIARA
“If we’re late, I’m telling Mack it’s your fault,” I called.
