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“How are you doing? I heard some of his verbal vomit.”
“Honestly, a little numb. I had no idea what Lottie had been through, and it makes me feel like I don’t know her or deserve her.”
“Well, I have to say when all this first went down, I would’ve agreed. You behaved horribly and while I still don’t condone it, I do see how much you love her.”
“I do. I really do.”
“So what’s the plan?”
“I don’t have one. Maybe sort my shit out and deal with making myself a man worthy of her before I grovel in the dirt until she takes pity on me.”
“Lincoln Coldwell, billionaire sex symbol, groveling on the floor. Now that I must see.”
I let out a chuckle and know I’ll have an uphill battle but for the first time, I’m ready to make the change and open myself up to everything that comes my way, good and bad.
* * *
Two weeks later,I’m back in my office after my second session with my new therapist and trying to read through a statement the company is putting out about my father’s arrest. With my mother’s and the board’s support, we’re going to come clean about everything and wipe the slate clean.
Secrets got us into this mess, and I want no more skeletons in my closet just waiting to jump out and derail me or Kennedy Enterprises. The shares will tank initially but after speaking to Harrison, who made all his money on the stock markets, we’re certain that it will just be a blip and, with my leadership and plans for taking Kennedy forward, things will right themselves quickly. My work life will recover, I wish I could say the same for the dumpster fire that is my relationship with Lottie.
To say it had been an emotional few weeks, is an understatement. My mother was distraught to find out that the man she’d shared a bed with could do such heinous things to a woman in our home and not just once, but over and over again. She’d sobbed on my shoulder over what Lottie had been through, feeling in some way responsible. We both knew she wasn’t, but I understand how she feels. How could we not have seen? But the truth was, he’d pulled the wool over all our eyes. Yes, we’d known he wasn’t a good man or father, but we hadn’t known how bad he was.
My mother planned to reach out to Lottie and offer her support and love in any way she could. Her love for Lottie and Eric hadn’t waned and neither had mine. If anything, it grew with each second and revelation. I found my evenings empty and desolate, wandering around my penthouse with so much wealth and opulence. It might has well have been a shack for all I cared. Outside of my company I cared about very little now. Food was tasteless, color seemed less vibrant than before, music felt like it was meant to torment me, as the last time we’d been happy she’d been in my arms.
At least my father would rot in prison for the rest of his miserable life. Hudson had spoken to the District Attorney, who was a friend, and assured me the full weight of the law would be thrown at my father and they were building a case that would ensure he went behind bars for the rest of his life.
I wanted to reach out to Lottie, my fingers itched with the urge to call her, to beg her to forgive me, but my therapist had advised I write her a letter instead. It had been the single hardest thing I had ever done, and the most cathartic. I’d poured my heart into it, and pages and pages of truth, both the good and the bad, had bled from me. The pain of losing her when we were young, the constant battle to seek acceptance from my father, when in reality he didn’t deserve me. The battle I waged inside to protect my brother from my father’s wrath. To fight to be the me I was with her when he always sought the brute that I ended up becoming. I had grieved so many losses on those pages and I hoped that even if she never forgave me, for the things I’d said and done that she’d see them for the bullshit they’d been. She was everything good in this world and she deserved a man who would cherish that, even if it ended up not being me. A thought that brought me to my knees when I let it fester.
Hudson had promised he’d deliver the letter to her and that had been two days ago. Now I just had to wait and see if she was willing to talk. I continued to fight though. I would never give up believing that we were meant to be. She was my soulmate, and you didn’t give up on them. I sent flowers and limited edition signed books from authors I knew she loved. I had cupcakes sent to the office of Love Books where she’d thankfully agreed to go back to work. Thanks in a big part to Audrey, who I adored for caring for the woman I loved.
What I didn’t do was turn up there and cause a scene. Lottie would hate that, and it would prove I hadn’t learned from my mistakes. I needed to show her respect and staying away and letting her decide when she was ready to speak to me was my way. The gifts just made sure she didn’t forget or think I’d stopped caring.
My phone buzzes and I sigh. “Yes?”
“You have a visitor, Mr. Coldwell.”
I don’t have time for this right now. I’ve spent the last two days answering questions from the board and I need to focus. “Who is it?”
“It’s Mrs. Coldwell.”
I sigh, because I won’t turn my mother away ever and I know she needs me and Clark now more than ever. “Send her in.”
I look back down at the papers in front of me as the door opens. “Give me a second, Mom. I just want to finalize this press release.”
I’m met with silence and suddenly the air around me feels charged as I look up and see Lottie, looking more beautiful than I’ve ever seen her and yet I spot the nervous way she twists her hands, looking unsure and like she might bolt.
“Lottie!” I jump from my chair and rush toward her, having to physically stop myself from wrapping her in my arms and never letting go.
“Hi, Linc.”
She’s lost weight, her eyes seem bigger, and she’s pale and anxious. I did that to her and I hate myself for it. Yet she still looks stunning to me.
“Please sit. Do you want some tea?”
I usher her toward the couches where we sat the last time she was here, when she loved me. Just having her close has my body responding and I want to feel her soft skin beneath my fingers. More than that, I just want her to smile at me the way she used to before I fucked it all up.
“No, nothing for me. I can’t stay long. I got your letter and I just wanted to say thank you. I heard what you did, and I can’t tell you how much it means to me to finally get justice.”
