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“God, Lottie, you shouldn’t be thanking me. I should’ve known, should’ve seen it.”
Her ponytail moves as she shakes her head. “How could you? I never let you see and until that night, I had no real idea either, just a feeling when I was around him.”
I look at my hands, which are clenched in my lap to hide the shake, the knuckles white. “I’m so fucking sorry.” My voice is thick with tears that I can’t hide and I blink to clear my vision. She glances up at my eyes and I let her see it all. My shame, my regret, my weakness. I owe her that.
“I know and I’m sorry for not telling you about Eric before. I won’t keep you two apart, but I beg you not to tell him who you are. I don’t want him to know how he came into this world until he’s old enough to understand that it in no way reflects on him.”
I nod, wishing I could touch her, hold her but I gave that right up when I let another woman into my apartment and was cruel to my wife out of spite. She is talking like it’s over and I feel panic take hold. I respond because she expects it but my heart feels crushed. “Thank you, and I won’t say a word. I know a little of how he might feel and don’t want that for him either.”
“How is Heather?”
“She’s okay. She filed for divorce from Charles. She wants to reach out to you but isn’t sure you’d be open to it.”
“I know. Hudson contacted me and we’re going to arrange something when things settle.”
I grit my jaw at his name, but I’ve come to realize over the last few days that I owe him my gratitude, not my hatred. He stepped up and helped the woman I love, and while I hate that it wasn’t me, I’m grateful she had him.
I can’t stand it a second longer and reach for her hand and she lets me take it, and suddenly everything feels right with the world again. “Did you read my letter?”
She nods and a tear slips down her cheek.
“I meant every word. I’m not trying to make excuses. I just want you to know everything about me.” I pause running my thumb over her wrist. “Can you ever forgive me?”
“I don’t know. You hurt me, Linc.”
Her voice is strong despite the wobble in it.
“That’s not a no and I promise I’ll never hurt you again. Not as long as I live. You make me whole, Lottie, and losing you this time was my own fault. I have nobody to blame but myself.”
“Is the great Linc Coldwell admitting he’s wrong?”
I feel a kernel of hope flicker at her teasing. “Don’t tell anyone.”
A warm laugh escapes her throat and despite the tension, my dick hardens at the sexy sound.
“It’s not about forgiveness, not really, Linc. I understand you were hurt and jealous. I may have even reacted the same way.”
A growl leaves my throat at her words, the thought to horrible to consider.
“It’s about trust and I don’t know if I can trust you not to reject me again when you get mad or angry. To lash out because you perceive something that isn’t true.”
I fall to my knees in front of her and hold both of her hands. “I won’t, Lottie. I promise you I’ve learned my lessons. I’ve lived without you and it’s an awful, cold, barren place, and I’d never risk that purgatory again. I hate that I hurt you. I love you so much and I was such a bastard and said the most awful things to you, and I’ll regret that until the day I die.”
“You’re confusing me. Are you sorry you’re a bastard or are you sorry for the words you said?”
I still until I see the teasing smile on her face and my world rights itself. Hope unfurls like the first bloom of spring, tentative and shy. “I’m sorry for both. I don’t deserve you. You are a thousand times the human I’ll ever be and I love and adore every single inch of you. I promise you if you give me another chance, I’ll never give you a reason to doubt my love for you again.”
“That’s the first time you’ve said you love me.”
I freeze and watch her as I lift my hands to cup her cheeks, running my thumbs over her full bottom lip. “I love you so much I think my heart might burst from it. I’d give up everything I own for just one day with you, Lottie. You own me, heart and soul, and no matter whether you decide you can forgive me or not, that won’t change. I’ve loved you since I was nine years old and didn’t have a clue what it was, and even in the ten years we spent apart, I loved you. I never stopped and I never will.”
“I love you too.”
“I know and I’ll treasure that love and hold it safe if you let me.”
“So cocky.”
My lips brush hers as our foreheads touch and I feel the mingled wetness of our tears on my hands. “Give me a chance to make this right. Be my wife forever and I promise you’ll never regret it for even a second.”
