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“Ava’s still asleep,” I say, “and I already got Martin off to school. Have a seat.”
I sit down opposite her and she takes in a deep breath. “Jack, I know things are pretty rough between us right now, but…I want to move forward and get past this. I think maybe we need to find a therapist to help us with our issues.”
I’m hesitant to rehash our problems with a stranger…but I can’t deny that we’ve got problems. “Yeah,” I say. “Let’s look into that.”
I’m willing to give therapy a shot. Anything to help us let go of the past and move forward.
One week later, we’re sitting in a couple’s therapy office. I’m nervous that I’m going to say the wrong things.
I sit on the couch across from the therapist, feeling a mix of emotions. I’m a bit nervous and anxious, but I’m willing to put that aside to work this out once and for all.
The therapist is named Maggie. She’s an older woman with a helmet of blonde hair and she’s wearing beige colored clothes.
“All right,” she says to begin the session. “Why don’t we start with why you two are here?”
I look at Sarah, then I say, “I don’t know. If I had to guess, I’d say that we’re still struggling with trust issues.”
“We dated in college,” Sarah says, “And then we broke up and didn’t see each other for six years and then we reconnected, and now…” She trailed off. She looked tired already.
“So you’ve had a prior relationship with each other that didn’t work out,” says Maggie. She’s writing on a notepad. This suddenly feels suspiciously like a test.
“She left,” I say. “Back then. She up and left without a word to me. Before that happened, she was acting a lot like she’s acting now.”
Maggie turns to Sarah. “Tell me how you feel about what Jack shared.”
“I get it,” she says with a sigh. “I guess I did give up on us before. But I was at the end of my rope. He’d hurt me one too many times and I had to protect my heart. I had taken a back seat in his life, and I didn’t think it was fair. I felt lonely and insecure.”
“And how do you feel now?” Maggy asks.
“I’m starting to feel the same way.” She rubs her arm, frowning. “Lonely, sad, insecure. I didn’t feel this way when I was single. I thrived at my job. I had friends and a social life.”
“And now?” Maggie continues.
“Now, my main communication is with our baby and our five-year-old.” She shrugs. “I feel like I don’t have a social life or any kind of support system.”
Maggie turns to me again. “Jack, how does what Sarah shared make you feel?”
“Overwhelmed,” I say honestly. “I have to work to pay our bills. I can’t help that I’m gone during the day.”
“But your hours are longer and longer, Jack,” Sarah says, sounding frustrated.
“You know I’m running a company now. I have to be there to make sure everything goes smoothly.”
She scoffs a little. “And what about how often you go out drinking? I’m home alone with our kids and you’re out having a blast. It’s not fair.”
“How’s itmyfault you don’t want to go out with your friends?” I say too harshly and instantly regret my words.
“Jack,” Maggie steps in, “would you consider cutting down on going out with your friends and, instead, maybe getting a babysitter and taking Sarah out?”
I purse my lips, not remembering the last time Sarah and I had gone on a date. How would we even act?
“I can do that,” I say, wondering why I hadn’t seen this solution before.
“How would you feel about that, Sarah?”
Sarah smiles, her cheeks rosy, her blue eyes glinting. “I would love that.”
Maggie talks with us more, helping us understand each other’s perspectives and providing us with strategies and tools to communicate better and address our emotional baggage. She also gives us some homework exercises to do outside of therapy, such as writing down our thoughts and feelings and practicing active listening.
