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“The feeling’s mutual. Trust me,” I say before I can stop myself.
She stops and looks at me, her blue eyes trying to read me. “Yeah?” She asks, eyebrows furrowed.
“Yeah. Don’t worry about it. This is just between you and me,” I say with as much sincerity as I can muster.
“Okay.” She blows out a long breath. “Good.”
“Good,” I repeat.
She pauses awkwardly, then says, “There’s no hard feelings or anything, right? I mean…we’re good, aren’t we?”
I manage a smile and say, “Well,Iwas good. I had your toes curling and everything, didn’t I?”
Sarah’s eyes widen, then she hits me on my arm playfully. We both laugh and for a moment, I’m reminded of our days together in the past. She was right before about us being friends first. That was the part of our relationship that I think I miss the most. If things had gone well, maybe she would have made a perfect wife.
I don’t know what went wrong…but if I were given a second chance, I’d fix this.
Fix us.
Regret and sadness well up inside of me. I push them down.
“Let’s get out of here already,” I say and she smiles.
“Good idea.”
I start the engine and press the accelerator.
Chapter Two
SARA
It’saboutamonthor so later and Jack is still on my mind.
I’m getting ready for the day the way I usually do. All the while, I’m thinking of Jack and the way it felt to be with him again after all these years. The way we laughed, the way he kissed me, the way his hands felt on my body…
I can’t start doing this again.
Jack. The name I have hated hearing for such a long time. Just his name hurt my soul after our breakup and yet it was the same name that used to bring me the most joy and happiness. I remember how just seeing his name on my phone would light up my face.
We’d been through so much together.
And now, here I’m again, but to square one with my feelings for him. I must have been out of my mind to sleep with him again.
How could I let myself get so caught up so easily? And it all started with the way he was looking at me. I could see he was trying to avoid me. Trying to push away those old feelings the same way I was. It was our memories that tied us together, still after all these years.
I guess when it all comes down to it, I was craving those feelings again last night. Maybe that’s why it happened. That longing for familiarity…
“Doesn’t mean anything,” I say to myself as I shake my head to rid myself of these thoughts. And it doesn’t. I think about it as I slide on my running shoes and run to the park close to my home, getting in the groove of my exercise routine.
The morning jog. There’s the usual light hustle and bustle of the area that consumes the air around me; neighbors I don’t want to face early in the morning, kids on their way to school, and people out with their dogs… I only notice their presence on a surface level. They’re the ambient music to my exercise routine.
The feeling of nausea settles in my stomach after my third lap, which is unusual since I typically have much more stamina than that. All the junk food I have been eating these days must be catching up with me.
Stopping at a bench, I catch my breath, panting lightly. Mrs. Morris, a friendly woman in the neighboring apartment, waves to me as she continues her power walk in her pink workout clothes. I wave back politely, making sure not to look too available lest she think it’s an invite to a conversation.
I laugh as I watch her aggressively ignore Mr. Henry, another neighbor of mine, struggling to keep up with her as he tries his best to talk to her. Mr. Henry is infamous for not being able to take a hint; even a wedding ring isn’t enough to deter him. He’s like a man on a mission, although his task is failing - like always.
Saturdays are a blessing. No matter how much I love my work, the weekends are a little piece of heaven I cherish. The alone time, the serenity of not socializing or talking to anyone from work, and the absolute bliss of just overeating to my heart’s content without having to watch myself constantly to maintain my reputation as a graceful and professional worker.
