Page 9 of Grump Daddy


Font Size:  

As I arrive back home, I encounter my archenemy, Kelly, the pomeranian. Slowly walking in front of her apartment, I maintain eye contact with her while noticing her petite and furry form. She may look innocent, but in reality, she is Satan’s apprentice. If you break eye contact even once, she takes it as an opportunity to attack you from behind.

Kelly barks at me, a habit she’s never failed to do, even once in the last four years. I growl back for good measure. Human or animal, I’m not about to let someone else get the last word.

When I get back to my apartment, I stuff my face with cereal as I browse the internet to find something good to watch. I’m about halfway through an article about an Egyptian tomb that was just found when my screen suddenly shows the caller ID text.

“Jennie Calling.”

A microsecond after clicking ‘accept,’ a screeching howl blasts through the phone, most probably rupturing my eardrums.

“SARAH, GUESS WHAT.” In usual Jennie fashion, she gives no regard to being considerate of people’s ears or their peace as she lets her excitement take over.

“What?” I massage my ear, putting the phone on speaker mode and keeping it away from me on the table.

“You remember Stacy?”

“Who?”

“Stacy Turner, dummy. Our class valedictorian,” Jennie tuts.

Stacy Turner, the bright poster child, like straight out of a movie. Beautiful, intelligent, and lovely. She’d run around with the elite popular crowd mostly. But she’d been my friend as well.

“Crazy Stacy,” I chuckle. “I remember.”

That’s no exaggeration. Stacy really was a little certifiable. During the day, she was a normal person who behaved like she’d been raised by normal humans. But as soon as the sun set, she turned into a whole different person. Especially if there was alcohol involved. All she’d need was two drinks and she was ready to fight anyone who even looked at her the wrong way.

“Yeah, well, guess what.” Jennie sounds as if she’s on the verge of jumping up and down from unrestrained excitement.

“What? What is it?”

“No, you have to guess!”

I groan, smacking my face. Why do I even bother arguing with her?

“I don’t know,” I say, “She’s working as a stripper clown.” I threw my most outrageous idea at her, knowing how annoying that was to her.

“What? Oh, my god, Sarah.”

“Hey, you’re the one making me guess.”

She tsks and says finally, “No! She’s pregnant, Sarah. Can you believe it?”

“Pregnant? With a baby?” My voice raised in shock. Stacy didn’t even like pets. I couldn’t believe she’d actually gotten pregnant. I mean, seriously, Stacy absolutely disliked the idea of kids. Once when we all were out at a mall and we witnessed a mother having a little trouble with her toddler, she looked at the scene with her lip turned up in disgust and said, “The world would be a better place if you could shoot the little bastards out of cannon.”

And now she’s pregnant?What?

“Didn’t she used to say that kids were a parasite that only ruined your body and your career?” I frown, scratching my head at this complete one-eighty turn by Stacy. It’s only been three years since I last spoke with her. What the hell happened to change her mind in that time?

“No,” Jennie says in a mock matter-of-fact tone, “I believe she used the term ‘blood-sucking monsters. But that’s not the most shocking part.” Jennie continues, the excitement returning to her tone. “Guess who the dad is.”

“Would you just tell me already?” I hated playing these annoying guessing games Jennie insisted on. But on brand, Jennie waits a beat before saying, “No, take a guess.”

I sigh. Again, why do I even bother with this creature?

“The dad is her own father.” I hurl at her. She scoffs in disgust.

“Oh, my God, Sarah. Gross. What is wrong with you?”

I chuckle at her disgusted tone. “Fine, then, who is it?” I ask.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com