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Where would I even start?
The memory of Viola’s eyes and the pain deep inside of her brown depths make me think it’ll be impossible to change the course I just put us on.
Marco bumps my shoulder with his as he moves past me. The look he shoots me is vacant and without the humor I normally see there. It’s a look which has me swallowing hard.
“I didn’t like her coming into our home and challenging me on my business decisions,” my excuse sounds weak, even to my ears.
“You should have given her more credit. She’s not some stupid woman who doesn’t know the first thing about this life. If doing the deal with Martinez has her questioning who we are, she won’t be the only one.” Massimo sighs and then sits down on the couch as if his legs are no longer strong enough to hold himself up.
I call out to Marco as he reaches the door, “Where are you going?”
“To find our heart,” he calls over his shoulder right before the door slams shut.
His words ring in my ears and the depth of what I’ve just done makes me feel like I’m drowning at the bottom of an endless cavern. Our heart.
That’s exactly what she is, and I just flayed her open. I don’t even have a good reason other than not wanting to be questioned.
What kind of man have I become? Is there any hope for me in this life?
Will she ever forgive me, and do I even have the strength to ask?
CHAPTER 11
MARCO
I feel like I’m about to explode as I walk out of the house to search for Viola. She shouldn’t be out on her own. Not right now, when she was clearly upset.
I could beat the hell out of my brother for the shit he spewed at her. How could he? I knew he wasn’t dealing well with the emotions our woman has brought out in him, in all of us. That’s not going to be enough to give him a pass for the lies and hurt he just let fly out of his mouth.
I shake my head and step out onto the sidewalk, looking one way and then the other. When I notice a lone figure sitting on a concrete wall halfway down the block with their shoulders slumped and shaking, my heart aches. My feet are moving before I even realize it and I’m glad I found her.
What if she had already gotten in a car and driven away? What if someone tried to take advantage of her when she’s in the state she is? I can only shudder at the thought of either scenario.
I can’t imagine something happening to her. It would break me.
It might not make sense that this woman has come to mean as much to me as she has in such a short amount of time, especially considering I’ve never been a relationship kind of guy, but I don’t feel the need to question it. It feels right when I’m around her. Why would I want the feeling to end?
Viola must hear me approaching because her head snaps up when I’m a few feet away from her. Her eyes are red rimmed and puffy and she’s not fast enough to wipe away the evidence of her tears, even though she tries.
“My ride should be here in a few minutes and then I’ll be gone from your neighborhood. No need to try and run me off quicker,” she tries to sneer the words, but they sound more sad than heated.
“I don’t want you to leave,il nostro cuore,” I tell her honestly. She blinks up at me a few times and then shakes her head slowly as if my words don’t matter. But I know they do. “I came after you because you need to know that what Mateo,” she flinches when I say his name and my heart sinks, “said was wrong and not entirely true.”
“So, I’m not a means to an end? A way for you to try and manipulate the situation?” Her voice starts to rise, becoming shrill and filled with pain, “Someone you intended to use?”
I swallow and hate myself for what I’m about to say, what I’m about to admit out loud, but I won’t lie to her. “It might have started out that way,” I tilt my head to the side, “but you probably knew that. There wasn’t any hiding it when the first time we met there was blackmail involved.”
“I guess I was just being naïve and stupid because I know how it started, but I thought that,” her voice drops to a soft whisper I strain to hear, “it changed somewhere along the way.”
I sit down next to her and wrap an arm around her shoulders before tugging her into my side. “It did,” I admit. “I’m not even sure when.” I chuckle humorlessly. “I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve used women for pleasure and a good time.”
“You kind of suck at pep talks,” she sulks and tries to pull away from me.
I don’t let her and tighten my hold on her. If she’s going to let me hold her then I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure she stays at my side. I’ll fight dirty if I have to.
“Then I started watching you and something started to shift inside of me. I don’t know if I really understand it,” I confess. “I do know I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and I want to spend time around you. I think about you when I’m not watching you and I wonder what you’re doing. I want to hear all your thoughts and I want to hold you.” I scrunch my face up a little and look straight ahead. “That is really fucking sappy sounding.”
Viola giggles softly, which would be a win on its own, but the way she presses farther into me feels even better. “Mateo doesn’t want me,” her broken words gut me. “I have a feeling with the three of you it’s all or nothing. I don’t think I could accept anything less and after everything he said…,” her words trail off, but I don’t need her to put a voice to them.
