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If only for a brief moment. The topic we are here to discuss is the elephant in the room, and even my favorite croissant won’t neutralize the anxiety. I swallow another bite of the sugary pastry, and it lands in the pit of my stomach like a cannonball.

“Look—” We both say at the same time.

He laughs, and it doesn’t sound forced or weird or fake. Maybe thereishope for us. Maybe I haven’t completely ruined our friendship.

“You can go first.” I pick up my coffee and wash down the croissant. It’s a mocha, with the dark bitter chocolate, as if they melted a truffle into it.

He swirls his coffee around in his mug, ruining the perfect heart the barista drew on top. “I’m trying to figure out how to say this without sounding like my dad,” he says.

“You’re not mad, you’re just disappointed?” I tease when I see the unusual seriousness in his face. I miss his normally easy smile already. I am not ready for whatever he has to say. What if he tells me I’ve gone too far and that he can’t be my friend anymore?

“Well, kind of, actually.” He pauses to take a bite of his croissant and I wait in agony for what he has to say next as he chews. “I have no idea what’s going on. And we’re best friends, Anders, aren’t we?”

“Always,” I reply, my voice thin. Isn’t this how a breakup conversation starts, reminiscing about the good times? I swallow the lump in my throat and start drinking my mocha like it’s water.

“Maybe we can start with you just telling me what’s happening, so I don’t feel so out of the loop. If you’re comfortable sharing it with me, I mean,” he says, reaching for one of the cookies.

I take a deep breath. “It’s hard to explain, I guess. Which is why I didn’t say anything. For a while, nothing was happening. I mean… at first… he was a total jerk. But something changed at some point. Tyson and I… we’re kind of a thing? I don’t know. We’ve been on a few dates.”

Cole nods like none of this is a surprise. “I got the impression there might be something going on between you two when you came down the stairs in the middle of the night looking a little rumpled,” he snickers.

I choke on my sip of coffee. My cheeks burn. “I’m really sorry you found out that way.”

He shrugs. “That didn’t bother me, Anders. No matter what’s going on between you two. What bothers me is that you felt like you had to hide it from me. That you’d rather shut me out than just tell me the truth. Oh… and there is the part about, he’s a total dick.”

He flicks a crumb across the table and I recognize the hurt etched on his face, the unusual tightness around his eyes that are normally crinkled in a smile.

“I wanted to tell you.” My voice cracks. I am not going to cry, not here. “I was just so embarrassed. It’s one thing to lose my head over a guy and another thing when that guy is being a total monster toyou. Add in that he’s your brother and, God, I couldn’t be a worse friend.”

Cole shakes his head. “Youaremy best friend. And Ty can definitely be an ass to me but, he doesn’t treat you that way, does he?”

“No, not at all. Honestly, he’s a gentleman. He’s caring, and he treats me with respect. He even baked me cookies. It’s like he’s two different people — the one thatyouget and the one thatIget. I don’t even know which one is the real Tyson.”

“I think they both are,” Cole replies. “But that’s not what matters. If he makes you happy, I’m happy for you. I just don’t want to lose my best friend over it.”

I scoot closer to Cole and put my head on his shoulder, wrapping my arm through his. “You’ll never lose me. I was just so ashamed that I couldn’t even face you. Plus, I’m jeopardizing my scholarship. It’s like I don’t even know who I am right now.”

“Love has a way of shaking us up,” he says in a mock sage voice.

I snort. “It’s not love, idiot. It’s just a crush. An infatuation.”

He makes a skeptical noise. “Whatever it is, it’s not going to jeopardize your scholarship. As much as it hurt me when you were avoiding me, I am thrilled for you. You’ve finally found space in your life for something other than school.”

“And when I flunk all my classes, I’ll have plentymorespace forlotsof things other than school,” I say with a groan.

“Eat your cookie.” He snatches a cookie from the plate and offers it to me. “Are you sure you’re not a drama major?” I bite into it and roll my eyes. “Hey, I’m going to swing by the hospital from here to visit Dad,” he continues. “Want to come? Mom was wondering why she hasn’t seen you around lately.”

Great. The whole family noticed my quarter-life crisis. “I should really study but—”

“But youowe me. Good. That’s what I thought you’d say. Come on, take that cookie to go.” He hops up, bursting with the normal vibrant energy that has always defined Cole Reynolds.

I follow more slowly. It’s a relief to close the rift with Cole, but there’s still the matter of Tyson to deal with.

Jordan

We bop along to Cole’s EDM playlist on the drive to the hospital, stopping by a convenience store to pick up a bag of gummy worms for his Dad.

“They’re his favorite and Mom won’t buy them for him,” Cole whispers, tucking the bag into an inner pocket of his coat. “I’m going to have to sneak them past her. Don’t say a word to her.”

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