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Chase laughed. “I thought you liked this story!”
“I do, but that boy is dumb.”
Chase chuckled again. “Yeah, I guess. But in the end, he realizes he still needs the tree and isn’t that really all the tree wanted? The boy to need her?”
“But why? He’s dumb. And mean.”
“Hmmm,” Chase murmured. I could tell he was searching for a way to explain it. He sighed heavily, searching for the right words. “I think you’ll understand better when you grow up, but you don’t get to choose who you love, even if they don’t love you back or love you in a different way than you love them.”
“Why?”
“I haven’t figured that one out yet, baby.”
Shaking, I took the trash to the wastebasket by the door to her room thankful my back was turned and neither of them could see how much I was struggling to hold it together. All I knew was that I had to get out of there.
“I’m going to talk to the nurses. I’ll be back,” I said, hoping there were no telltale signs of distress in my voice, and then left without looking at either one of them.
When I hit the hall, I bowed my head and rushed to the bathroom at the other end of the floor. Tears were streaming down my face and I prayed the curtain of my hair would hide it. When I burst through the door to the bathroom and locked it behind me, I turned on the faucets and leaned over the sink just before the dam burst and I was sobbing my heart out.
My heart was shattered. I wasn’t sure if I was overwhelmed with how Chase interacted with our daughter, if I was afraid of the confrontation in front of me, or if Remi’s precarious health issues had finally broken me. Or maybe, I was like the dumb, selfish boy in the book.
My broken, hiccupping cries echoed in the square tiled room above the sounds of the rushing water. I slid down the wall in a heap, pulling my knees up and burying my face in my folded arms. I cried like the world was ending because it felt like it was. I’d lost Chase, and now, could lose Remi.
My choices were ignorant and careless of the possible consequences. Despite my noble intentions, despite all the other shit that happened that made it impossible to take it back or change it; there was nothing to justify it, and no amount of atonement great enough to make amends. This was the biggest mistake of my life, and if I spent every second of every day trying to figure out how I could make it up to Chase, Jensen, and Remi; there was no going back.
CHASE
Remi was amazing. She was a smart and beautiful, precocious, and brave little angel. It was love at first sight for the second time in my life. And Teagan… there was no denying she was an incredible mother. I always knew she would be.
I was still reeling from the whole thing, but once I got in that room with her, held her and talked to her, my entire world change. It was like a cosmic shift in the universe and nothing else mattered but that little girl and getting her better. I wanted to speak with the doctors and with Teagan. I was still pissed off and hurt, but that couldn’t be my focus until I had my head around this thing, and we had a plan of action for Remi’s care in place.
I’d said my goodnights to my daughter and was waiting in the hall outside the room while Teagan tucked her in. Leaning tiredly on the wall outside the room, propped up on my shoulder, I ran a weary hand through my hair. I felt dirty, and sweaty from the traveling and the run to get dinner. I needed a shower and a few hours of sleep.
“Are you Ace Forrester? Of the Arsenal?” A short, plump nurse with a happy smile on her face looked up at me expectantly.
I quickly pushed away from the wall to stand in front of her. “Arsenal, yeah,” I said simply. American’s didn’t realize that there was no “the” in front of the team name. People recognized me in airports and other public places, but I never expected it in the pediatric cancer wing of a Georgia hospital.
“Oh, my God. I watched you play against that Argentinian team last season,” she said tentatively, the fingers of both hands fiddled together in front of her nervously as her big eyes stayed trained on my face. “You were amazing! I don’t remember the name of the team.”
“The River,” I answered with a nod. “They’re a really good team.”
“Not as good as yours.”
I huffed out a sigh and smiled. “Well, not that time, as it turned out.”
“I’ve followed your career since Clemson. I attended there, too.”
I pressed my lips together in another half-assed smile. These situations were awkward and I’d rather avoid them all together. “Cool.”
“Can I get an autograph?”
I rubbed the back of my neck, tiredly. “Sure.” The door to Remi’s room opened and Teagan appeared. She was still beautiful, but her makeup was worn, or cried, off and I could see how exhausted she was. In the old days, my arm would have slid around her to let her lean on me, and I had to remind myself to stop. I nodded at the nurse. “If it’s quick. We’re beat.”
“Sure! I’ll be right back!” She scurried off behind the nurses’ station a bit down the hall, as Teagan paused at my side.
“What’s the plan? Is there a hotel or hotel close to the hospital?”
Her deep brown eyes flew to my face. “Ah… I don’t usually leave Remi alone at night, but I can take you home. We have an extra room.”
