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A few minutes later, my phone pinged as a text came in. It had to be Teagan, I thought, as I backed away from Remi to pull the phone from the clip on my belt. All of my teammates and Bronwyn were on their way to Brazil and probably sleeping on the plane. I glanced down at the words on the lighted screen.
Is she asleep?
Yes. I’m just sitting here with her. We had ice cream.
I climbed off of my knees and moved away from the bed so the light and the noise wouldn’t wake my little girl. Within seconds Teagan answered.
That’s nice. She likes ice cream. Are you okay?
No.
I typed the single word and sent it before I thought about how it would make Teagan feel, and was instantly pissed that I would care. I’d fought against caring for so long and all she had to do was show up in front of me and I was right back in it. I told myself it was because my emotions were all screwed up as I tried to wrap my head around having a kid and her being sick, but the truth was, Teagan was under my skin and in my heart and always would be. For better or worse, I couldn’t change it.
I’m sincerely sorry, Chase.
I stood there, staring at the phone, not knowing what to respond; the words looming like one of those goofy cartoon gifs bounding out in 3-D.
She was sorry. I didn’t need to hear that anymore. I sighed and typed out a message.
I know.
Do you need a ride? I can come pick you up and take you back to the hotel.
It’s not that far. I can walk.
I always stay with Remi, so I’m coming back to the hospital anyway.
It’s no trouble.
Damn my soul, I wanted to see her. I wanted to be near her. My heart was in agony and Teagan always used to make everything better just by being close. We did that for each other and though I knew it was dangerous, I still felt that same insatiable pull; not just sexually, but just in her presence. I sucked in a shaky breath, but before I could type more another text came in.
I understand that you want to keep distance between us, and I won’t push you. I just want to make this as easy for you as I can.
Okay.
Okay to making it easy, or to the ride?
I don’t know how easy it can get, but I appreciate the sentiment.
Yes to the ride. I’ll meet you in front so you won’t have to park.
I could have walked the whole way back by the time she’d be able to drive to the hospital, and I had no clue what would happen when we were together, but logical thought was on the back burner. My emotions were in charge right now; boiling like a cauldron inside of me. At any moment, I could lose it; I was aware and I was torn; so angry at both of us, yet so desperate just to lay eyes on her.
I’ll be there in twenty minutes. See you then.
I shut the phone off and put it back on my belt before walking over to Remi and bent down to place a soft kiss on her forehead, brushing back her fine hair. Her skin was warm under my lips and once again the baby soft scent hit me. She was so precious and I said a silent prayer that my marrow would be a close enough match to save her life, silently promising God I’d give anything to get through this without too much upheaval for Remi. My marrow had to match… but if not, I’d move heaven and earth, and spend every cent I had to find the treatment that would save her.
The nurse at the desk right outside Remi’s room looked up from the computer screen she was working on. She was not the same one from before; she was older than the woman from earlier in the day, but just as kind. She smiled warmly at me as I closed the door softly behind me. She didn’t seem surprised to see me instead of Teagan or Jensen
“How’s our girl?” she asked.
“Sleeping.” Relief settled over me. The woman wasn’t judging at all in her expression or her words.
“I see. She needs it.”
“Yes. Her mother is coming back in a little while.”
The nurse nodded and smiled again. She had a kind, grandmotherly face and I felt confident leaving Remi in her care. “Please call me if something happens. I’ve written my number on the whiteboard next to Teagan’s.”
