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“So did you,” I said stoically and hung up the phone.
CHASE
I sucked in my breath as the phone went dead.
“Fuuuuucccckkkk!” I shouted and hurled the phone as hard as I could at the hotel room wall. It created a large bang and a dent in the drywall. Shit!
Bronwyn was on her phone in the sitting room of the suite and she murmured her goodbye then rushed into the bedroom. I knew what I’d just said to Teagan would slice her open and still, I couldn’t stop myself from saying it.
“What in bloody hell was that?” Bronwyn asked, astonished.
I was sitting on the end of the big king-sized bed and I threw myself back until I flopped onto the mattress; both of my hands fisting in my hair. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” I murmured, rubbing both hands roughly over my face. My beard was several hours old and poked at my hands. “I probably broke my phone.”
She glanced at the damaged wall and bent to pick up the pieces of my phone that were scattered on the carpet at the base of the wall and some of it further into the room. “I’ll say. What possessed you?”
My feet were still on the floor, so I was only halfway up the mattress when she cautiously walked closer to sit next to me, reaching out a hand to rest it on my chest. It made me feel claustrophobic and I sat up abruptly, anxious to end the contact with her. Emotions were boiling inside and I wasn’t sure if I was overly sensitive because of Remi’s precarious situation or if I’d still feel so fucked up if I’d seen Teagan again regardless of Remi.
Ugh! I stood and started to pace the room. If Remi hadn’t happened, would Teagan have finished school and come to London like we planned? Or, would Jensen have still swooped in and stolen what was mine? I loved Remi, but I couldn’t help lamenting for what my life should have been for Teagan and me. At the same time, I felt guilty for even considering it.
Bronwyn watched me from her perch on the bed. “It’s not a problem. I’ll get you another one.”
I turned abruptly to look at her. Suddenly I resented her being there, which was completely wrong. None of this was her fault, but right now, in this moment, I was mad as hell that she even existed. “No, you won’t. You’re not my assistant, Bronwyn.”
She stood and walked toward me, reaching for me at the same time. “Ace, what’s going on? You’re acting so different.”
Tension boiled inside my chest, threatening to explode. “Are you kidding? I have a terminally ill kid who I didn’t even know existed!” And… I’m still in love with Teagan and I don’t want to be, my mind continued. “Of course, I’m different!”
“Yes, but you’re doing what needs to be done. You played as well as you always do, today. I thought you’d handle this.” She seemed somewhat bewildered and oblivious to the weight on my shoulders. “When life gives you a shitty hand, you deal with it. What else can you do? If it were up to me, you’d drop that lying bitch on her ass, let her deal with her own problems, and get back to our life.”
My brow dropped into a frown as I sucked in a wry breath, anger beginning to simmer inside me. Bronwyn really didn’t get it. Maybe it was her personality to put herself first, and in the past year that was fine, but this was serious and her attitude pissed me off.
“You clearly don’t understand the gravity of the situation.” I put up my hands and closed my eyes. “It’s not your problem; it’s mine. I am just trying to figure out which end is up.”
I pulled out my duffle and took out a set of clean clothes, intent on getting in the shower so I could meet with the coaching staff and managers for dinner. I’d asked for a private meeting so I could explain things and get the time off I needed from the team.
I started to walk into the bathroom and she followed, continuing to berate me. “If it’s your problem, then it’s mine, too. I know it’s bollocks, but it will sort out. I’ll go with you tonight, and I’ll even fly back to America with you. I’ll do what I can to help get you through this.”
There was one problem; I had no desire for Bronwyn to come to the dinner and was even less enthusiastic to have her with me in Atlanta. I was more than likely going to have to spill details about my relationship and break-up with Teagan, which up to the present, I’d kept to myself.
I didn’t want the press printing lies. The media was stellar at taking a sound bite and exploding it into a sensationalized sonic boom. I knew I had no choice but, to be honest with my coaches and eventually, with the world, and with Bronwyn. The club would be accepting, but she would pelt me with questions and it would just crack open more wounds I wanted to avoid; wounds that would, no doubt, damage my relationship with her. It would drive a wedge between us that would be impossible to breach.
I was already feeling its weight; already fighting the urge to go after Teagan, her marriage, and my relationship, be damned. It was a deep-seated instinct that I’d always felt toward Teagan and it didn’t go away even after the ultimate betrayal. I didn’t want to love her, but I couldn’t change it, no matter how badly I wanted to.
I laid my folded jeans and underwear on the vanity and then leaned on it with both hands. My head dropped in resignation. “I don’t know. I think I should go alone. I just spoke with Teagan, and we decided we didn’t need too many people around to complicate things. I don’t even want my family there, Bronwyn. We need time to get Remi taken care of before I can think about anything else.”
I inwardly cringed as I waited for her response. Who was I kidding? It wasn’t as if I could forget about Teagan, our past, or all of the misery that followed. I hated that I couldn’t separate the two, but it was impossible. I reached behind the curtain and turned on the shower spray, pulling off my shirt and dropping it on the floor in one motion. Bronwyn stood there, frozen in place.
I unbuckled my belt and dropped my pants, stepping into the shower and adjusting the water to make it a bit warmer. I began to rinse the dried sweat from my body and the steaming water was soothing.
“I don’t think you should be alone. Teagan has Jensen. Are you prepared for that?”
I paused mid-squeeze of shampoo into my hand from one of those annoying little bottles hotels leave out for guests. She might as well have hit me in the gut. I dreaded facing Jensen more than I wanted to admit. The truth was, I’d never be prepared even though I knew it was inevitable. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stop myself from ripping his head off. When he wasn’t in Atlanta the little nucleus of the three of us was somehow comforting, and it was easy to forget he wasn’t part of it. Hatred for my ex-best friend boiled in my chest; so consuming and hot it felt like my soul was on fire. I should have known he’d always been in love with Teagan by the way he always found a reason to hang around with us. Stupidly, I trusted them both, and I got royally screwed because of it.
I tried to keep emotion out of my voice and answered with what an adult should say in this situation. “It was a long time ago. We are all adults with a mutual goal right now.” I wasn’t sure if I was reassuring Bronwyn, or myself. “Remi is all that matters.”
“Okay,” she agreed reluctantly. “So, is dinner formal or not?”
I huffed in agitation. Wasn’t she listening?
