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“You’re sure then?” He asked, still breathing hard. “There’s no going back.”
“I’m sure I love you, and that’s all I can think about, right now,” I whispered. The words were so full of emotion they hurt to say. “If you never touch me again, I’m sure I’ll love you, forever.”
I couldn’t see his face, but his arms tightened around me and his face turned so he could press an open-mouthed kiss on my neck, softly sucking like he used to, one hand moved up to cup the back of my head.
He held me tight for at least a minute. I knew he was struggling with the rights and wrongs of making love to me, but my body was buzzing with wanting and my heart was breaking with love. In that moment all I wanted was to be in his arms and never leave.
Our eyes locked as Chase stood, lifting me with him as he set me on my feet. “Let’s get out of here.”
CHASE
I’m sure I love you, and that’s all I can think about, right now.
Teagan’s words reverberated through me like an earthquake. The air was charged around us, and the inevitability of what was about to happen rocked me. I couldn’t stop it, even if I wanted to. It didn’t matter that my mind argued that if I betrayed Bronwyn with Teagan, I was earning Teagan’s betrayal of me with Jensen. It didn’t matter. Either way, I was screwed. All I knew was that now that I’d given in to the want, I couldn’t stop it, and I didn’t want to. My heart wanted to pretend we were still us and that all of the misery of the past could evaporate, and we were healed. My heart needed hope. It needed healing.
Sex with Teagan wasn’t about lust. I wanted her and my body was on fire in anticipation, but my heart was full of her and for the first time in years, I felt whole. It was about love. It was about healing. Mostly, it was being honest with Teagan, and with myself.
On the drive through the night, our hands clung together without either of us speaking a word. I couldn’t stop touching her and it was evident she felt the same way because she held on to my arm, even when I was digging out my wallet and signing for the room at this random hotel that I didn’t even remember the name of. My hand shook as I ran the keycard through the lock and waited for it to flash to green and click.
My heart was pounding; my body was buzzing. I wasn’t sure if doing this would save my soul or damn it; I didn’t know how I’d feel afterward or what would happen. The only thing I was sure of was that no matter what happened, I was powerless to stop it. Teagan and I were inevitable.
I pushed open the door and threw the card on the floor, turning to Teagan and yanking her hard against me as the door slammed behind us.
Her hands slid up my chest and around my neck as mine slid down over her ass and between her legs to separate them and lift her against me. She wrapped her legs around my waist and pushed her pelvis tight against my cock. I was engorged and so hard, if the pressure didn’t release soon, I was sure I would explode. The blood rushing wildly through me made my heart pound and my dick ache.
I almost slammed Teagan against the wall in my need to thrust against her. She was hot as hell; heat seeped through our clothes as our bodies heaved against each other.
We kissed passionately and her hands pulled at the front of my shirt, her fingers frantically trying to work the buttons free. I could feel her frustration because it echoed mine. We were already panting in our excitement, as the need between us throbbed like a living thing. My hands pushed up her shirt so I could cup and then knead both of her lace-covered breasts.
“You’re still my monkey,” I whispered between kisses. “God, Teagan, I want you.”
There was no one else who could make me feel this way; so desperate to bury myself in her hot, slick flesh, and pour all of my love into her, just like I always had.
She let out a soft whimper as she finally freed three of the buttons of my shirt so her hands could splay out on my chest. Having her hands on me felt incredible, but I wanted more. I wanted every inch of her skin on mine, I wanted to touch her and make her come, to taste her, and remind her that she belonged only to me.
“You’re still mine,” I insisted because I couldn’t tolerate anything else. One touch from her and the maelstrom of pain that always hung over me, melted away.
“Always,” she whispered urgently.
I gloried in hearing her admit it even though we both knew it. My heart ached that I’d missed even a minute with her, but I pushed away the implications of everything that happened since. I wanted this time with her to be completely unmarred, to lose myself, to pretend, for just a for a few hours, that all that shit never happened. I needed it like I needed air.
Her teeth gently tugged at my lower lip and her tongue slid along the top one. Every touch was driven, sensual, designed to bring me to my knees. She knew what I liked, she knew what turned me on, and she knew my heart like no one else ever had.
“Chase, please.” The urgency in her voice went straight to my dick. It pulsed and pushed against the confines of my jeans even as I continued to push against her, aiming for just the right spot to make her crazy with wanting. “Take me to the bed.”
I took her weight easily and turned toward the king size bed, laying her down gently. We’d continued to kiss all the way down, but when I pulled back so I could look into her face, she protested my absence. Teagan’s lips clung to mine, her head lifting off the bed in an attempt to prolong the kiss as her hands slid down my arms. She shook her head. “No, don’t stop, Chase.”
“I’m insane to be inside you, but I want to go slow. I want to look at you. Who knows what will happen tomorrow, but I don’t want to think about anything outside of these four walls tonight. I never thought I’d ever be with you like this again, and I want to remember every second.” I kissed her again because her neediness for it was irresistible, but this time it was with a slow, languid thoroughness that communicated my intentions.
I moved back to look down into those amazing eyes. I was hovering over her and caging her in with my body.
Teagan’s eyes flooded with tears and her hand reached for my face. “Chase—”
I shook my head. “No. Don’t promise me anything. We’ll deal with the other shit when we have to, but not tonight. I don’t want to think about anything but you and me right, now.”
Our eyes locked and tears overflowed, rolling down the sides of both sides of her face at her temples. She got a little crinkle between her brows and nodded without speaking. I knew her heart was screaming, just like mine. It hurt to look at her because deep down, I couldn’t shake the heartbreak; but I had to be with her because it would kill me not to.
I tried to swallow, to push down the lump in my throat caused by the emotions that ruled me. I pushed off of the bed to close the shades even though it was dark and we were several stories up. I adjusted the thermostat and turned out all of the lights except the light in the bathroom.
