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“We want the same things.”
“I see that all we want are similar careers. But you knew… I want to practice at St. Jude’s.”
“I care about you, Remi. I thought you cared about me in the same way.”
“I do, but we are different people, Alan.”
“You suddenly come to this realization… after seeing yourfriend.”
“He’s more than my friend. I’m not going to insult us both by lying.” I got up and walked to Alan’s side; unsure what to do, but I wanted to find a way to comfort him. “I never meant to hurt you. You’re a good man.”
“I am. He’s not here and I am. Have you thought of that? He’ll be running around banging women who aren’t you. I know I’m not that much to look at, but I’m smart, honest, and loyal.” He cleared his throat and I reached for his hand, wrapping my fingers around his. He let his hand respond to mine.
He still wasn’t listening. Did he move here for med school with ulterior motives to get me to move after med school? Despite what he knew my goals were? I sighed. It was plain that we’d never have worked, Dylan or no Dylan.
“I know you are, Alan. Right now, I’m just going to volunteer at St. Jude’s over the summer and go to school as planned this fall. I’ve barely gotten settled. I feel bad that you’re here against your will. Maybe you can still go to Yale.”
He let out a disgusted huff. “No. It’s Yale. It’s not aback-up for U of T. Jesus.”
He turned and stalked out the door, leaving me frozen in place. I felt my breath leave my body in a rush, as if I could finally breathe. Part of me felt relief and part of me felt like hell. There was nothing I could do to make Alan feel better and I wanted to talk to Dylan, but it was late, and I was exhausted. I decided to take a long, hot bubble bath, get a glass of red wine and then I could call him tomorrow. The last thing I wanted was for Dylan to hear sadness in my voice over Alan. I didn’t want him to doubt my feelings for him, but there was no way I’d be able to hide them.
Tomorrow… after a decent night’s sleep, I’d feel better. For now, I’d just concentrate on his last text.
How’d it go? Just wanted to make sure you’re safe and tell you how much I love you.
I answered…
I love you, too. I’m exhausted. Emotionally drained.
I’ll tell you about it tomorrow. Sweet dreams.
Dylan
“Hey, Dylan!” My Aunt Marin smiled as I walked into the ranch house. “Girls! Breakfast!” She called up the stairs as she quickly came to me and gave me a hug. “Did you see Ben? He went out to feed the horses.” I released her and she moved back to the stove to finish breakfast.
My stomach rumbled at the smell of fresh coffee and bacon. I’d arrived at the ranch last night and settled into my favorite cabin on the west side of the main ranch. It was the closest to the house and the one that Remi and I used to stay in as kids.
“I stopped out to help him and he was just finishing up. He said he’d be right in.”
Some things never changed. Siri, Marin’s horse, was getting older, but she and her son, Dark were still in the stables, with a few more of her foals, now grown. Dark was used as a sire with some of the quarter horses. The mating mares and studs were kept in the barn closest to the house and another barn had been built behind it to house the horses used on the trails and by the guests. The sun was just coming up and the horses were being let out to graze after Ben and I had given them a ration of grain.
The only thing missing was Gem. Marin’s black lab that had been on the ranch since our first visit. I wanted to ask about her but decided it might make my younger cousins sad. Gem would have to be at least fifteen, so most likely she had passed. Over the years they had gotten a couple of other dogs; a shaggy mutt named Goose and a yellow lab named Sunny that I’d passed laying on the front porch as I’d come inside. With monikers given to them by Lila and Lily when they were little.
“Good,” Marin stated as she placed plates heaping with pancakes and bacon, and a bowl full of fluffy scrambled eggs. “Breakfast is big around here.” She smiled and turned to the refrigerator to get out a pitcher of freshly squeezed juice. “Is Remi coming?”
I shook my head, noticing that the table was set for six. “I don’t think so. She’s volunteering at St. Jude’s this summer.”
Marin cocked her head to one side and pursed her lips as part of a sad expression. “That’s too bad. We were looking forward to having both of you. We’d hoped you’d be able to convince her, but I know how much helping those little kids means to her.”
I pulled out a chair and slid into it. “I tried, believe me, but yes, I understand her commitment.”
“Dylan! Dylan!” Lila and Lily came bounding down the stairs and into the kitchen to scramble into two of the chairs. Lily sat next to me and Lila across.
The door opened and Ben, accompanied by Davis, his long-time friend who had become a partner after the dude ranch became successful. “Dylan!” Davis said enthusiastically, clapping a hand on my shoulder. He took a seat next to Lila while Ben sat at the head of the table opposite Marin’s place. “Soccer star!”
Inwardly, I moaned but I grinned. “I hope, soon.”
“With Chase coaching, how can you fail?” Marin asked, walking around the table, and pouring coffee for all the adults before taking her seat.
