Page 112 of Fallen Knight


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“It’s Jameson Gates, isn’t it?”

I part my lips, then pause.

I can easily say it was. After all, most of the world still believes we were once in love but tragedy tore us apart. I can simply continue the lie.

But Tristan deserves better than that, especially if he’s willing to give up everything for me.

“I was never in love with Jameson Gates,” I confess in an even voice.

He scrunches his brows. “But I saw the videos and photos of you together. Heard the rumors you were about to get engaged.”

“My entire relationship with Jameson Gates was a publicity stunt. A ploy by the royal household to garner positive press since everyone loves a royal wedding. None of it was real. I had no choice but to go along with it. At least, that’s what I thought. All my life, my grandmother continually told me there was no place for love in a monarchy, and I believed her. Didn’t think I was strong enough to fight centuries of tradition.”

“If you weren’t in love with Jameson, whodidyou have feelings for?”

I swallow down the lump in my throat. “Someone I could never be with. Someone who didn’t have remotely close to the social standing required for the royal household required to approve.”

“What happened?” he asks hesitantly.

Drawing in a deep breath, I steel myself to split open the wounds I thought had healed long ago. Then I confess everything. How I was upset after learning I was being married off to someone I didn’t choose like a piece of property, not a human being. How I decided to take matters into my own hands and propositioned this man to take my virginity as an act of defiance. How he initially refused, but eventually changed his mind. How it was only supposed to be one night, but we couldn’t seem to keep our hands off each other. How we decided to continue our fling until the end of the summer.

How I fell in love.

How my former chief protection officer learned about us and begged me to end things.

How I eventually relented and broke this man’s heart, making him hate me.

How my chief protection officer eventually realized his actions were about to sentence me to a lifetime of being miserable.

How he was taking me to make things right when our vehicle was attacked.

How I never told this man the truth.

How I left for Paris because I couldn’t stand to be around reminders of everything I’d lost.

How I thought I’d put it all behind me until I returned home and realized I still had strong feelings for him.

How Istillhave strong feelings for him.

How I fear I always will.

When I come to the end of the sordid tale, a silence settles in the room, heavy and thick. I study Tristan, but his expression doesn’t give anything away. I wish it did. Wish I could see some sort of emotion, even if that emotion is anger. I hate this uncertainty.

“This man who still owns your heart…” His voice catches, tears welling in his eyes. “Who is it?”

I hesitate, not wanting to get Creed into trouble, since he was with me mere weeks ago. While he was a member of the royal guard.

“Someone who stands to lose everything if anyone learned we were together. Especially this recent.”

“I’m not going to…” He trails off, his face draining of color as realization sinks in. He briefly closes his eyes, posture slumping. “It’s Captain Lawson. Isn’t it?”

I don’t even have to respond. He can tell just by my apologetic expression.

“How did I not see it all before?” he says softly, although I’m not sure if his question is directed at me or himself. “I was so worried about Jameson Gates. I just…” He digs his hands through his hair, tugging at it in frustration. “And he was assigned to be your CPO on that trip? No wonder you were—”

“No!” I interject, voice echoing in the room. “My history with Creed hadnothingto do with what happened. Hell, at that point, we were still at each other’s throats. We wanted nothing to do with each other.”

“Then what changed?”

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