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“Yes, I’ll stop doing everything else and listen to you. Maybe there are coping mechanisms I can help you with . . . like holding you tightly. That could stop you from hurting yourself too. And protect the innocent grilled cheese in your way.”
She bit her lip. “What should the word be?”
“Whatever you want it to be.”
“Fudge.”
“Fudge?”
“Yeah. I like the word fudge. I find the food a bit sweet though, so I’m not likely to ask for it. Ooh or Fudgsicle. Yes, Fudgsicle!”
“All right. You say Fudgsicle whenever everything is getting too much.”
“Fudgsicle!”
He immediately turned to her, lifting her onto his lap and holding her tight. “What’s wrong?”
“Um, nothing. I just wanted a trial run.”
He sighed. “Greer . . .”
“I know. I know. It’s not to be used lightly.” She smiled. “I really needed this hug, though.”
“Well, while you’re here. I might as well make sure you eat.” He grabbed one of the sandwiches and held it up to her mouth.
She sighed, but opened her mouth and took a bite. He wasn’t going to relent until she did.
“You don’t need to hurt yourself or let everything get on top of you. I’m here now.”
He held up another piece of sandwich and she took another a bite.
“I don’t want you to resent me. Because if we go ahead with this . . . with us . . . I’m going to fall in love with you.” She was three quarters of the way there already. “And if you leave me . . . how am I meant to survive that? I lost everything once. I had nothing, Hack. I was all on my own. I can’t do that again. I can’t.”
“Oh, baby.”
His heart was breakingfor her.
“I have the same fear, you know.”
“Because those stupid ex-girlfriends of yours couldn’t see how amazing you are? If I ever see them, I’ll rub it in how stupid they were. And what they lost out on.”
“You’re good for my ego, Ladybug.”
She snorted. “You don’t need any help with it.”
“You’re right, I don’t. I’m the shit.”
She giggled. Relief filled him at the sound. He hated her being sad.
“I think it’s natural to have fears going into any relationship. It just shows how much the other person means to you. And I know I already mean a lot to you. Can’t blame you.”
“Might want to check that ego, bud,” she said dryly. “We don’t want to put any holes in Aidan’s walls trying to get your fat head through the door.”
“Hmm . . . fat head, huh?”
He winked down at her. Her face went bright red.
“Hack!”
