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I sensedhis gaze penetrating my skin and waking me from the night’s slumber. For the first time since I’d been out of the coma, I slept peacefully. For the first time in my life, I felt total peace.
Upon opening my eyes, I found Malachi staring over at me. My lips curled upward into a slight smile. Inhaling deeply, I savored the moment. So many nights, I’d dreamed of mornings like this one. I dreamed of waking up to Malachi’s handsome face and his fingers grazing my skin.
“Good morning,” I greeted him, exceptionally happy he hadn’t run away this time.
“Good morning.”
“I didn’t expect you to be here when I opened my eyes.”
“Now that I am, you owe me an apology for doubting me.”
He reached over and rubbed my bare arm. When he was around, my temperature was unsteady and elevated, reaching temperatures that required coolness to combat them.
“I’m sorry.”
“Me, too.”
“For what?”
“Letting you see the worst of me and forcing you to believe things about me that aren’t true. I’m not a liar. I’m not some mean old dude. I’m not a bad person. Just a troubled person who is ready to overcome my troubles.”
“I know.”
“I didn’t have to treat you that way. I’m wrong. I can’t ask you to forget it but I do need you to forgive me because I’m struggling to forgive myself. I’ve been sitting here for the last two hours, watching you sleep and wishing I could take back everything I’ve said or done to you; wishing I could go back to the day you called my phone and not be so damn—”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not. You don’t understand, Aeir. That’s not who I was. That’s not who I am.”
“I’ve seen you over and over in my head since I woke up from my coma, Malachi. I know who you are and that’s who I’ve been searching for since I got here. But I’m not afraid of the man you’ve been the last two years. He’s human, too. He’s a version of you, no matter how much it hurts to understand or believe. He’s part of you, too. He’s important, too.”
“You’re right,” he agreed, sucking the skin of his teeth. He grew silent, his thoughts taking over and leaving me out of the equation. I wanted in. I’d been shut out long enough.
“Worry me,” I encouraged him.
He slid closer and kissed my lips.
“I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m terrified. Life since Anna’s passing has all been one big blur. I feel like I can see again, but I don’t like what I’m seeing. I’m ready to change. I’m ready to regain control of myself, of my world. People need me. Aussie needs me.”
The mention of her made me smile. I placed a hand on his cheek, still looking into his eyes as a million questions circulated at once.
“Tell me about her. How is she? Did she ever grow into those big, pretty eyes of hers?”
“She hasn’t.” He chuckled. “Not even a little. She got those from Anna and she’s keeping them, it seems. I look at those things every day and wonder how God even fit them into her skull. She’s such a bright girl. She speaks Spanish… even better than she speaks English. ASL, too. For a while, I couldn’t bring myself to talk. Each time I did, I ended up in tears. Signing for us was the only way to communicate.
“She loves taking care of the animals and she loves agriculture. She’s wise, far beyond her age. She trips me up. Before she went to her grandparents’s home, she had a chance to meet her Uncle Mercer. That nigga couldn’t believe his eyes or his ears. I think he might’ve even thought she was a little possessed.”
“Mercer?” I gasped.
“Yeah. My brother.”
“I know who he is. I remember him. But, I also remember him being incarcerated. For—”
“Taking the fall for the bricks they found in the attic after stopping by the spot to check on his paper. They were never supposed to be there. One of our workers got lazy and let some pussy the previous night stop him from making the drop off.”
“I remember.”
