AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chad curled one of his hands into a fist. “But I am in control. I’m not helpless anymore.”
“Consciously, yes, but your subconscious will take longer to convince. You’ve been through a lot.”
He rolled his eyes. “So you keep telling me.”
“The mind is fragile. It exists and processes through patterns, and not all of these patterns have positive outcomes.”
“Patterns?”
“Language patterns, images, sounds, behaviors, they’re all patterns. First, we learn them, then we recognize them, then we can predict them, and eventually, we can learn to counter them. When something unexpected happens, it makes you feel helpless, not in control.”
“It’s as if my mind blanks out. I can’t think.”
“But what made you feel helpless in the first place? When did it first happen?”
Chad looked away. “When Marc came up behind me. I wasn’t expecting him to be there, or the sharp scratch on my neck. My body dropping like dead weight.”
“That was the first time?”
“No… Romeo. I thought he’d give himself up, but I was no match for him in the trees. He pinned me to the ground and knocked me unconscious.”
“You learned that other people can overpower you, particularly when you’re not expecting it. Now think about the pattern. You were overpowered and then subjected to mental and physical torture, and now as a consequence you freeze in preparation.”
“Right. How do I fix that?”
“You make new patterns of behavior. You fight that impulse to freeze. It won’t be easy—it seems to only affect you when something you’re not expecting happens.”
“So, what? I ask my colleagues to jump out of cupboards and say boo?”
Keeley snorted. “How’s the coffee?”
Chad blinked, “Huh?”
“The coffee.”
He took a sip, frowning. “It’s good.”
“I’m always over-generous with the sugar and milk, but you’ll need it for my next words.”
Chad took another gulp of coffee, trying and failing to stop his leg from bouncing on the floor. “Which are?”
“You’re not weak, Chad.”
He drew back, bristling. “I know.”
She leaned forward, giving him another sad smile. When their eyes connected, his anger left him. She saw through him. Of course she did. “You’re not.”
Chad’s eyes burned. He looked away.
“You’veneverbeen weak despite that learned pattern.”
Of course he was weak. He’d been taken bytwoserial killers. Two men had overpowered him with ease like he was nothing more than a child. A child. A pathetic child who craved love from a woman who resented his existence. A woman whose touch was cold, and her words cruel, knocking back his every attempt at being loved. He was weak for not protecting Keeley and taking control of the situation.
“Never.”
“Fuck.” He wiped his eyes.
“You are strong for surviving everything you’ve been through.”
