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“I don’t feel it.”
“But you are. You are strong because you’re still here. You might not feel like it, but this is progress.”
Chad continued to rub his eyes. “I feel like your words have driven a truck through me.”
“I find words are more powerful than brute force. They have more effect, and last longer in our subconscious.” She smiled at him. “Will you be okay in here for a minute?”
“Why?”
Keeley tilted her chin to the door. “I need to speak to him.”
“But—”
“He’s not a threat, Chad. He’s struggling, like you, and he needs my help. I’ll be back in five minutes, ten at the most. I’ll add the time to the end of the session.”
Once she left the room, Chad collapsed back into the couch. He wasn’t weak. Every time he heard those words they damn near destroyed him. He’d always been weak, some sniveling, malnourished kid who needed a dog to take care of him, and now he was a man, he had traded a dog for a serial killer for companionship.
One he was in love with.
If that wasn’t a weakness, he didn’t know what was.
“Stop it,” he growled.
Self-loathing was a pattern of behavior, too. He was aware he was doing it and could predict when he was about to sink into despair, all he had to do was think of something to counter it.
Learn new patterns.
That’s what Keeley had told him.
He thought of him and Romeo. Their love, their life. Their home.
Their compromise Romeo wanted to change by getting Chad involved in the act.
Becausetheir arrangementwasn’t enough.
“God damn it.”
He was too tired for the mental gymnastics going on in his head. Fighting his self-doubt required more energy than he had.
Chad laid down on the couch and shut his eyes.
Chapter Five
Romeo.
It was just a name.
Other people had that name, although, after The Countdown Killer’s reign, the name dropped in the charts, clinging on in the nineties.
Chad’s popularity went up, not that he had a clue why, whether people associated his name with luck or intelligence at being able to escape a serial killer, he wasn’t sure. Neither was true. His name was thrown into disrepute when he began visiting Romeo in prison, and a certain article was released to the public.
They were names.
Letters in an order that when read together made specific sounds. Nothing more.
Chad held his breath, hand poised against the windowpane as Dave worked. He knew what Chad was waiting for and didn’t drag the moment out.
He unbuttoned thesecondvictim’s shirt and opened it for Chad to see.
