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It’s not good. Not good at all for me. I need to be free. Need to be able to move on.
I don’t want to have to subjugate myself to a man’s jobs and whims until I can’t even remember what it is that I want or need.
I’ve seen exactly what happens in that instance and I’m not on board with it.
He helps me walk to the car he’s already called and holds my hand, helping me into the backseat like I’m a fragile child. My heart jumps when he makes sure that I’m situated before he tells the driver the address and then climbs in to sit next to me, his thigh burning against mine.
My mouth dries out and I can’t breathe. Roderick must see the panicked look on my face and he pulls me into his arms so that I’m leaning on his broad chest, listening to his strong heartbeat under my ears.
“Hey, hey. Relax. You did it and it’s all over. You never have to do that again. Unless you really want to.” He shoots me a charming grin. “I thought it was a blast but I recognize that some people might not like it. And that’s alright.”
“Can we just go back home? I need to check the video that I got and upload it and then go out and find someplace for dinner. I’m starving.”
“How about we split up and you take care of what you need and then I’ll take you to someplace that I heard of to get some dinner.”
My eyebrow lifts and I narrow my eyes at him. “Seriously? Why would you want to spend more time with me, Roderick? We don’t like each other.”
“I like you fine.” That damn charming grin of his sets up a flutter of wild butterflies in my belly.
“Right.” My skeptical look makes him laugh.
“Come on. You know you want to see what I pick for dinner,” he wheedles me. And sadly, he’s right. I am curious what he’ll pick to eat. He seems like he’s a little stuck up and I have an idea I’ll be eating in a swanky restaurant.
“I can’t afford something really expensive.”
“That’s okay. I’m paying.”
I shake my head. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t ask. I offered.” He moves so that every inch of my left side is burning from being up against him.
“So what do you say, princess?”
My head is so scrambled all I can think about is his damn body heat and how it’s enveloping me. How good I feel with him against me. How safe and relaxed I feel.
“Sure. Let’s do it.” I slap my hand over my mouth and groan internally.What the hell did I just say?
He smiles so damn big and cheesy that I can’t tell him that I made a mistake.
“Great! I’ll see you in a little bit, princess.”
The car stops at the resort and we head in the door together, only splitting up when he heads up to his room and I head out to my little bungalow.
I slip inside the door like I’m being chased by demons. My head hits the door and I groan. If I go with him it’s gonna be a fucking disaster!
But I can’t tell him no. I don’t want to tell him no. I like him, dammit! I like to spend time with him. And since he was so sweet at the zip line I can’t stop thinking about him.
But that was just because I was scared. I’m sure once we go out tonight he’ll be his usual asinine self.
I sure as hell hope so because if he keeps being so sweet and nice I’m gonna fall for him.
All of that white-picket fence shit isn’t for me. I need my freedom.
Even as I tell myself that, I can’t help thinking that it might be nice to have someone worrying about me and taking care of me.
Shaking my head, I sit down and pull out my laptop. Work. That’s all I need. Not a sexy, sweet man who takes care of me.
That’s for some other woman. Never me.
