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He leaned closer. “I love you, Bo. I fucking love you, man.”
I backed away, tears trying to escape my eyes after the reality he’d finally said it out loud. All I managed to do was keep backing up, shaking my head. I turned and hurried away as fast as I could, not looking back. Of course he’d ask me to move with him now. Of course he’d tell me he loved me now. I’d loved him with all of my heart and he still left. Now that I was trying to rebuild, he decided he wanted me again. But why? He couldn’t know my heart was growing attached to someone new, so why the change of heart? Two years ago, or hell, even a few months ago, I would’ve killed for him to say those three words.
The stranger at my shack wasn’t a sure thing, but even with my past and Jamie’s sudden declaration of love, neither was Jamie. But I sure as hell would’ve preferred Jamie giving me a heads-up about leaving me behind before having my heart ripped out of my chest. I wanted to be a loving partner and I deserved to receive love in return.
CHAPTER THIRTY: HAYES
My head lifted off of the dock and I listened carefully to the sound of another helicopter in the distance. I’d been waiting for Bo’s return, fear building inside my stomach with irrational thoughts that he’d drowned and wouldn’t be coming back. The noise was coming closer and it frightened me for some reason. What if they were looking for me? I’d been deposited on the river’s shores with zero clue of where I’d come from.
I ran to the edge of the woods closest to the dock, hiding among the thick brush and waited for the intruder to fly overhead. Copters have a very recognizable sound from a distance, but when they’re nearly on top of you, the sound is different and peculiar.Thump, thump, thump,the blades pound the air beneath to keep the aircraft aloft. The sound was deafening. I held my hands over my ears, shutting my eyes and refusing to look at the mechanical bird.
I didn’t want them or anyone else to locate me. There was fear of being found that I associated with painful memories that I couldn’t recall. Why was I afraid they were coming after me? The copter swooped fast and furious across the woods behind me, stopping at points and hovering above. I didn’t need my eyes open to know how close they were.Thump, thump, thump.This time it was my heartbeat mixing with the rotors from the copter. Scooting further under the low brush I tucked my head between my knees.
Music blasted from the front of a boat. The sounds of people laughing and glassware clinking denoted a party. He held my arm and glared at me as I struggled to shake him off. He was angry and his mouth turned down while he kept me trapped in a corner. “You’re no fun,” he raged. “Try to have some fun for once . . .” I think he said my name but I couldn’t hear the word. Heartbreak surged through my veins like a lethal dose of poison. Run. Jump.
A hand tugged at me and I thrashed against it.
“Hey, calm down. Shhhh,” the voice soothed. “It’s me. It’s Bo. You’re okay now. I’ve got you. Shhh.”
“But . . . they’re coming. I’m not safe,” I cried, slapping his hands away.
“No one is here except me and you, okay? You’re safe now.” He spread his arms, inviting me to come closer. “Come here. You’re safe. I promise.”
I fell into his strong loving embrace and he kissed the top of my head, making soothing sounds and squeezing me tighter. I was sobbing through my torment, but he held me close and rocked me gently, both of us tucked away under the brush.
“I saw something,” I whispered against his chest.
His body instantly tensed. “Where? Here?” he asked urgently.
“No, not a person. A memory of someone. I was hiding from the copter just now and I think I had a flashback,” I said, still emotional and clinging to him.
Bo ran his fingers through the hair on the back of my head and continued peppering me with small kisses. He was the most gentle and loving man who made me feel safe. “Do you remember where you were in this memory?” he asked.
I pulled away and looked into his eyes. He wiped tears from my face and kissed the top of my nose. The man who crouched under a bush with me treated my anxiety like it was no big deal and handled me with a level of care I didn’t recognize. He seemed to know exactly what I needed and he spoke to my heart with his actions. The feeling was unexpected and pushed away any doubt I may have had about loving him.
“I think I was on a boat,” I said. “I was arguing and there was a party happening,” I added.
He frowned. “I figured you may have been on a boat and got thrown overboard,” he stated. “The vest was the giveaway for me.”
“The vest!” I exclaimed. “Show me the vest, Bo. Maybe seeing it will help with remembering more.”
He smiled and held my chin in his hands. “One question first,” he whispered.
I nodded, and leaned back against his chest, my comfort zone.
“Why are you hiding in these bushes?” he asked gently. “I heard you crying and found you here crouched with your head between your legs.”
I hesitated to tell him the real reason but I also didn’t want any lies between us. I didn’t understand why I wanted complete honesty with Bo considering I’d known him for a little more than a week.
I pulled his hand from my chin and stared at my lap, ashamed of what I was about to say. “I was hiding because I don’t want to be found just yet,” I admitted. “Don’t be mad, Bo, but I’m scared. I feel like I ran from something . . . or someone.”
“I don’t mind you staying, but what can I do for you?” he asked.
His question ripped through my defenses faster than a bullet through butter. “How do you do that?” I asked, tugging at the threads of his denim shorts. I glanced at him and he stared expectedly at me. “You don’t see how wonderful you are or hear the amazing things you do and say, do you, Bo?”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
I stared at his handsome face, giving thought to his humble question. Up close Bo had amazing skin. His face was clear and the color of gold with just a shade of pink from the recent sun on his face. Not a single blemish had ever soiled his face, nary a scar anywhere. His pale-blue eyes truly saw the people around him as he carefully listened to each and every word uttered with a genuine desire to not only hear you, but actually see you. Bright strands of sun-bleached hair cascaded around his ears where he had casually tucked the excess behind them, strands fighting his efforts with unruly curls.
