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Please. Oh, please please please.
“You do?”
“I need privacy. I also understand it must be balanced against protecting me.”
A whoosh comes out of Malcolm, as if he has been holding his breath.
“Yes! Exactly.” His eyes drop from mine. “Just doing my job.”
“Aren’t we all,” Jason says softly, watching me with concern. “Aren’t we all?”
“When will the trainer come?” I ask, trying to get them to leave.
“Tomorrow, after dinner.”
“Wonderful. And what is their name?”
“We’re waiting for confirmation on that.”
I let out a huff.
“Prin – Paigelynn,” Jason says, clearly struggling with my demands, “we have to make sure it’s someone safe. The fiasco with Rudy makes our jobs more complicated.”
“Rudy was a trusted member of my team for years,” I reply coldly. “He didn’t infiltrate as a spy. The man just couldn’t control his libido.”
I see more white than usual around Malcolm’s irises, and he shifts his weight from one hip to another.
“Of course,” Jason replies. “As you understand, it takes a special kind of man to work with you. Only the best animal trainer, and a trustworthy one, befits you.”
Now he’s just flattering me.
When I was younger, this worked. It always worked. When you’re starved for attention and the only people you’re allowed to interact with are your security team, you take scraps. Bits and pieces. Whatever slivers of time they give you.
Until a year ago, I had a rotation of teachers and tutors, but then I turned twenty-four.
The Final Year was initiated.
And I’ve been alone ever since.
A thought slams into my consciousness with such force I am sure they can hear it. Feel it. Taste it. When I look at Jason and Malcolm, though, they just give me interested expressions.
My thought is: What if Cam is my dog trainer?
How can I reach him? What if he never comes back?
“I need to speak with The Mother,” I announce, the request making them both blink many times.
“The Mother only works with the younger ones, Paigelynn. You know this,” Jason says softly.
“I know. And yet I need her counsel.”
“Are you worried about your wedding? Your marriage?” Malcolm says, giving Jason a strange glance. “It is coming. You’ll fly to meet him soon.”
“I -- ” Before I can protest, I realize I need to shut up. Malcolm is giving me a perfect excuse.
“Yes?” Jason asks.
“I am nervous,” I say, struggling to find the right lie to get me what I need. “Any woman would be, correct? Even in the regular world, women are nervous before their weddings. Why should I be any different?”
