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Sean’s home is fit for a queen. Every inch of the place is designed with absolute love. Sean explained that his brother, Carter, was the one who built it, but Sara was the one behind the design, and it shows.
The only space where I could actually see Sean’s true input was the bachelor pad in the basement downstairs. It was like walking into the most extravagant man cave I’ve ever seen. He was so proud of it. The whole room was packed with gym equipment, all the gaming consoles in the world, the biggest flat screen I’ve ever seen, and of course, a pool table and a ping pong table with a game of beer pong set up on it. Though, I can’t actually picture someone like Sean playing a game like that.
Don’t get me wrong, the rest of the house has his touch as well, but it’s more of their touch rather than just his. It was like having a bucket of iced water tipped over my head. Hearing about his wife and seeing it are two very different things.
Ever since the shooting, I’ve seen Sean nearly every day, which I’m loving, but I feel like we’re not progressing. When it comes to hand-holding, stolen glances, and soft kisses, we’re good, but I need more. I’m ready to take the next step with him, and while I know we agreed to take things slow, I’m left wondering just how slow he meant. I have to keep reminding myself just how hard this is for him. Moving on from the love of your life couldn’t be easy. Though there’s no denying the intrusive thoughts that make me feel like second best, like I’m a replacement for the real thing.
Seeing the pictures of how happy they were on their wedding day reminds me that he will never truly be all mine. He will forever share a piece of his soul with the woman he lost, and that’s just something I’m going to have to get used to. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll have any problems with it, I just hope Sean can find room in his heart to share it with me.
In no way do I want to take any of the essence of Sara away. It’s so important to Georgie that she knows her mother. Even though she only met her on the day she was born, I’d like to think she will know her through Sean’s memories and her presence within their home. I guess it’s actually kind of beautiful.
Dinner came and went, and before I knew it, Georgie was begging me to do her nighttime routine, so here I am, tucking her into her bed, which apparently is a big girl bed made only for big girls. Definitely not a regular bed that should be confused for regular sleeping.
I somehow get roped into singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, which instantly has her snoring on my shoulder. I squirm out from under her and pack the six books she demanded I read back onto her bookshelf before turning on the baby monitor and slipping out the door.
Heading back toward the stairs, I see a black and white photo of Sara hanging on the wall, and I can’t help but stop and stare. She is nothing short of radiant. It’s no wonder Sean was so drawn to her when they first met. The woman is unbelievably stunning, and with both her and Sean’s genes, there’s no doubt in my mind that Georgie is going to have lines of boys pining for her attention.
I find myself studying her eyes, her cheekbones, the soft flow of her hair, and pretty much every inch of the photograph, desperate to know the woman who stole Sean’s heart. I’m not going to lie; I find myself a little jealous of the love they had for each other.
Leaning back on the opposite wall, I look at her, and with tears in my eyes, I tell her every damn thing that’s within my heart. “Hi Sara, I know I never knew you when you were here, but from what I’ve heard and seen of you, you were an incredible woman and would have made one hell of a mother.”
“Woman to woman, I have to tell you that I’m falling madly in love with your husband. He is . . . wow, he’s everything. He’s the kindest man I have ever met. He’s been through hell and back, and despite everything, he is still the strongest man I have ever met.
“I honestly don’t know what to believe about the afterlife, so I don’t know if you’re looking down on him and Georgie, but in case you’re not, you should know that he’s an amazing father. Georgie is his whole world, and he’s doing an incredible job of raising her. Though, I’m sure you already know that. It’s no secret what kind of man he is.
