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A small smirk pulled at the corner of Jonas’ mouth, though he seemed to try to fight it off. Forcing his mouth into a grim line, he met Derek’s gaze. “We must talk. But not here … not now.”
“Meet me at Perdition tonight?”
Jonas pulled a face as if finding that distasteful, but he nodded in agreement anyway. “Midnight.”
“I will be there. Now, we ought not be found together … just in case. You go that way, and I will wander deeper into the woods and pretend I have been looking for Julia, play the role of a jealous suitor and all that. I think Gilbanks might finally be ready to declare himself.”
Jonas nodded again but said no more. Derek’s heart dropped into his gut, but he tried to fight against the sensation of disappointment. There was no question that the viscount would declare himself for Julia. But would Jonas declare himself to Derek? Would he confess his love and join Derek in the hope that they could find some way to be together? Or would he walk away again, and leave Derek to die a slow and painful death? For, die he would if he had to go another seven years without the only man he had ever loved.
“I will see you tonight,” Jonas said, turning to wander off in the direction Derek had indicated.
Desperation seized Derek at the sight of his retreating back, and it occurred to him that he might never see Jonas again should fear win out over desire once again.
“Jo,” he called out.
Jonas turned but maintained the distance between them. “Yes?”
“I love you,” Derek sighed, rushing the words out before he lost his nerve. “I have always loved you and I always will. You do not have to say it back, or even think about it right now. I just … I wanted you to know that.”
They stared at one another for what felt like minutes but must have only been seconds. Jonas’ face held no expression, though his eyes were turbulent, the green tones muddled with the brown. After a while, Jonas nodded and then turned to continue on his path. As he disappeared through the trees, Derek realized that he might as well have placed a sharp dagger into Jonas’ grasp. Derek’s fate was in his hands, and if Jonas ran away again, there could be no life after this. He would be alone, again. Forever.
ChapterSeven
Jonas tapped his fingertips against his knee and stared through the open French doors of the music room. Across the corridor, the entrance to the drawing room was shut tight. Cloistered inside were Julia, his father, and Viscount Gilbanks. After the picnic, Jonas and Julia escorted Derek back to his flat before returning home. Along the way, Julia had recounted the story of how Gilbanks, blind with jealousy, had finally confessed his feelings for her.
“It was ever so romantic!” Julia had exclaimed, fairly bouncing on the carriage squabs in excitement. “He said that he understood I had set my cap for Derek, but no one could ever love or cherish me as much as he could. Then he dropped to one knee, Jo! Just like in a romantic tale! How could I have refused him?”
“And what of Derek?” Jonas had teased. “You would break his heart so easily?”
“Oh, pish!” she had replied with a wave of one hand. “Derek was never going to ask me to marry him. If he were, he would have done so already. I think we will get on better as dear friends, anyway.”
While Jonas was pleased with this turn of events for Julia’s sake, suspicion had begun to plague him. Julia spent the rest of the carriage ride home in silence, staring through the parted curtains and smiling as if quite pleased with herself. They had not been home for long before Gilbanks had arrived, wearing a fresh coat and carrying a bouquet of hothouse roses. The announcement of an engagement had been well received by both his parents and his mother had even wept for joy. No one had ever doubted that Julia would make a match, but no one had expected her to nab a viscount and a massive fortune in the process. The Thacker family lived a comfortable life, but they did not hold a candle to the holdings and wealth of the Gilbanks legacy. Julia would be taken care of for the rest of her life, but more importantly, she would be happy.
But Jonas could not help but wonder about Julia’s sudden change of heart. It had not even occurred to her to be angry that Derek had not protested her betrothal to Gilbanks. While he obviously had little experience with women, Jonas assumed that any woman who had expected to marry one man might be annoyed when he turned out not to care that another man had stolen her from under his nose.
Unless she had never had designs on the first man to begin with.
As Jonas sat and waited for his father, Julia, and Gilbanks to emerge from the drawing room, Jonas turned the puzzle over in his mind. On the surface, it seemed as if Derek had pursued Julia in order to get a reaction out of Jonas. It had certainly worked. The moment Jonas had caught wind of their courtship, he had come running, determined to put a stop to an eventual betrothal. However, if that were true, that meant Derek had callously used Julia in his little game, and this did not sit well with Jonas. The indignation that welled up within him fizzled out in an instant as he realized that he knew Derek better than that. While he certainly had his vices, and had used manipulation to gain Jonas’ attention, Derek’s affection for Julia was pure. When Jonas would bring him home for holiday breaks from university, the two had talked and laughed together like the best of friends. Derek did love her, but not in the way a husband should love a wife.
Jonas’ heart dropped into his gut as he arrived at the only conclusion that made sense. Just as he arrived at a horrifying realization, the drawing room doors swung open, and Julia bounced into the corridor. Jonas slowly came to his feet as she paused to consult the butler before breezing into the music room toward him.
“Well, it is official,” she said, clasping her hands together at her bosom. “James and I are to be married as soon as the banns are read.”
Despite the anxiety twisting in his stomach, Jonas couldn’t help but chuckle. “The viscount’s Christian name is James?”
“And just what is so amusing about that?”
Jonas raised an eyebrow. “Jermyn, Jonas, Julia … and now James. You may as well continue Mother’s tradition by giving all your children names that begin with the letter ‘J.’”
“I have always found it a wonderful tradition,” Julia said with a wistful sigh. “So orderly.”
Taking Julia’s hand, Jonas raised it to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “I am happy for you, sister. Truly. But … I do worry about Derek. Despite my protestations, he seemed quite determined to marry you. I hope he will not be too heartbroken to hear this news.”
He was taking quite a risk, but Jonas could not bear to remain silent and wrestle with his own conclusions. He needed to know the truth.
Julia avoided his gaze and took her lower lip between her teeth. “Jo, about Derek … well, I have not been entirely honest with you. You see, it was James I wanted all along, but he gave no indication that he intended to propose. With the season ending soon, I became desperate. Of course, now I know that James was only hesitant because he was uncertain of my affection. The silly goose thought I couldn’t possibly love him as much as he loved me.”
“Julia,” Jonas said, impatience edging his voice.
