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I’m not a violent man and like to think I’m reasonable. But when Tricky Dicky laid his hand on Nathalie, it was all I could do to restrain myself from knocking his lights out. My fists flexed and I held them forcibly at my sides while the little twat put on a smarmy show for Nathalie and acted as though we’re old friends.
Who the fuck does he think he is, touching her like that? And when he said her name as if she’s his property, my hands moved swiftly from my sides, and I swear I was just a second away from punching his smirking face.
He had the nerve to say he was taking her to dinner.
Oh no.I don’t think so…
I see my aggressive behaviour confused Nathalie, but she doesn’t know how we hated each other at boarding school. He was the only kid who got under my skin and our feud began on the very first day that I arrived, and it ran right through my years at Eton. Damian can’t stand him either.
This is clearly a play for revenge and somehow, he found out Nat works for me and went after her. I kick myself for not paying more attention to what’s been going on.
As it is, I’ve avoided Nat like the black death since the day I gave her the topaz necklace. She loved it so much, it ravaged my heart, and I knew it was a fatal mistake. I took it too far and let my feelings for her spill out all over the place.
After I heard her voice on the phone when she saw my photo in the paper, I was desperate to make it up to her, and delighting her with an extravagant gift seemed like the thing to do.
When you have abundant wealth at the push of a button, it’s easy to think money can fix everything.Ask your assistant to order a magnificent display of flowers or return home from a business trip with an extravagant box of expensive jewellery.I soon learnt it didn’t fix everything, or at least it didn’t in my marriage. In fact, it fixed nothing.
But I forgot the hard-won lesson and slipped back into my old ways. I soon realised I only made it worse by giving Nathalie mixed signals, and she read more into it than I can give her. It was too much for me to sit across from her at breakfast every day, when all I could think about was the one night we spent together.
Avoiding her hasn’t helped get her out of my mind though, and I dream about her every night and wake every morning pining for her. It’s like a sickness that gets more intense with every passing day.
To make things worse, the day after I gave her the necklace, when I was reading Daisy a bedtime story, she asked if I’m going to marry Nathalie. Her innocent face tore at my heartstrings.
I just stared at her, gobsmacked, thinking what a fool I’ve been. Letting my emotions sweep me into a grand romantic gesture was a wrong move. Even my five-year-old daughter can see I’m in love with her nanny. That’s when I knew I had to put a stop to all this madness and establish boundaries before I destroyed Daisy’s newfound stability and ripped Nathalie’s heart to pieces.
Not talking to her during the past few weeks has been hell, and I’ve been waking Daisy early in the morning to spend time with her before I skip breakfast and leave for the office.
It’s stupid. But I didn’t know what else to do.
And now it’s all come to a head. When Nat finally did as I asked and went to the car, I warned Tricky Dicky to stay away from her and threatened to tell her the details of his thieving, bullying past if he doesn’t leave her alone. He looked sufficiently alarmed, so he obviously cares about his reputation amongst his staff. I’m hoping my threat will keep him away from her once and for all. I told him I don’t want to hear about him asking her out to dinner or offering her a job ever again.
The longing to wipe the annoying smirk off his face was still intense. But I knew she was watching, and I didn’t want to make things any worse. Tricky Dicky pressing charges against me for assaulting him wouldn’t do any of us any good.
With all the menace I could muster without physical violence, I asked him if my demands were clear.
For a second, he looked like he might take me on, but suddenly he backed away, shrinking, like all bullies of his ilk when faced with someone who stands up to them.
Now, I’m in the carpark watching him scurry off. From the safety of his BMW, he shouts at me. ‘You haven’t heard the last of this, trust fund boy. You’d better watch your back.’
What a complete and utter wanker. How he came to be running a children’s centre, I do not know.
I despair how he popped up like a floating turd, after all these years.
Back in the car, all I want to do is take her face in my hands and kiss her pink lips, but I’m keeping my instincts firmly under lock and key tonight, so I just look at her and start the engine, feeling empty.
Even after that childish scene, her eyes are loving. If I’d caused that kind of fuss about my ex-wife, she’d be spoiling for a fight and would waste no time in putting me straight and telling me how she doesn’t belong to me.
Nathalie is no pushover, but rather than throwing a tantrum like Maddy would, during the drive, she asks me questions about why I behaved like a crazy person at her workplace. She doesn’t say it in so many words, but I’m pretty certain that’s what she’s thinking and if the situation wasn’t such a shitshow, I’d laugh at myself. It’s been so long since I lost my temper like that, but the sight of Tricky Dicky and Nathalie together drove me to the edge.
Whilst I’m not a fan of being grilled and having to answer questions of a personal nature, I appreciate Nat’s sensitive approach, and do my best to answer her many questions because I owe her an explanation after rocking up at her work like some crazed mafia dude.
On a whim, I drive towards Richmond Park. It’s such a beautiful evening. The warm summer night is drawing in fast, and I want to get there before the gates shut.
Luckily, Mrs Johnson is staying on later tonight. She’s baking fruit pies and stocking the freezer, which she does every season. I told her I might be out for a while, and she said not to worry. When I left, Daisy was tired and cuddled up, wearing pyjamas and half-asleep on the sofa watching her favourite show. She made no fuss about me going out and didn’t ask to come with me like she normally would. It’s no wonder, because I’ve been waking her up so early in the mornings even though it’s the holidays. When my driver texted me to say he was clocking off and Nathalie refused his offer of a lift, I couldn’t stop thinking about how she was going to get home. Perhaps it was my gut telling me to go, but suddenly, I yearned to be alone with her and I grabbed my car keys and left before I could talk myself into doing the sensible thing and staying away.
The truth is, I’m aching to touch and taste her again. I’m desperate to make love to her. Although I’m so horny from my painful abstinence, I might have to fuck her very hard a few times first to calm myself down before I can make love to her in the way I want.
Not that I’m going to act on my desires.
