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When I don’t immediately respond, she tries to put on her best calming voice. “I just feel like maybe you’re sick of the dating scene, and you’re trying to skip to the happy ending. You want to step into someone else’s life, and it just doesn’t quite work that way. Wouldn’t you rather go on the journey with someone who hasn’t done it before?”
My mother has become the queen of hypocrisy, and I think I’ve heard enough.
Standing up, I say, “If you would have kept quiet for two seconds, you would know that I’m crazy about this woman. I find myself falling in love with her. She could have ten kids, and it wouldn’t change that. Thanks for the Coke, but I should be going.”
“Tanner,” she calls after me.
But all I do is say, “See you later, Rob. Sorry I couldn’t stay for dinner.”
As I’m walking out of the house, I hear her husband say, “Tammy, what the heck is wrong with you?”
I don’t stick around to hear her answer.
Still not ready to go home to my empty apartment, I drive around town aimlessly, thinking about everything my mother said. Don’t get me wrong; I think that she’s completely out of line. She better get a whole bowl of sugar cubes for that high horse of hers.
But her words keep ringing in my head over and over. I don’t mind the fact that Erin has kids. I actually love that about her. It makes her infinitely more complex than any woman I’ve ever dated. But it’s not like she and I have had any type of conversation about what a future may look like.
Of course, we haven’t. It’s only been a couple of weeks, and I haven’t even met her kids yet.
But when I picture a future with this woman, what do I see?
I have no idea.
Since I’m absentmindedly driving, I find myself going past Erin’s house. There’s a giant pick-up truck in the driveway, and I assume it’s Judd. Three boys come flying out of the backseat and go running toward the front door. They all tell their dad bye before going inside.
Is my mother right?
Am I just trying to skip to the good part without going through all the steps to get there?
I may only be twenty-five, but I’ve dated a lot of women—and slept with even more. Having a mother who wasn’t always present when I was younger meant that I was fooling around with girls when I was way too young. I know most thirteen-year-old boys are out there, trying to find a girl to fool around with. Most of them don’t do it so young, though.
Maybe that’s why I’m so eager to settle down—because I am tired of all of the petty games that come with casually dating/fucking. My life is always in a constant state of flux with as much as I travel. It would be nice to have a constant for me to come home to.
Every time I have tried to tell a woman I’m ready to settle down, they have one of two reactions.
One, they laugh at me as though there’s no way I can be serious. They tell me that your twenties are meant for having fun, and they aren’t ready to give that up.
Or two, they agree with me in that they want something more serious. But then, they get a taste of my work schedule and tell me that I’m not the one they want to settle down with.
Did all of the pieces just fall into place perfectly with Erin?Tooperfectly?
A woman who is as done with the dating scene as I am and who is ready to start a life. My mother is right, though. Erin already started a life with someone else. Am I just trying to make myself fit into the hole that Judd left?
My phone chimes through the speakers of my truck, and I look at the screen to see who it is.
Text Message from Erin.
Hitting play, I hear the monotone voice coming through the speakers reading the message, but all I hear is Erin.
“Hey, baby. Just wanted to say how great of a weekend I had with you. I’m already looking forward to next time. I’ll call you tonight before I go to bed?”
The feeling that I’m getting right now in my gut tells me to stop doubting this whole thing. My attraction to her is not based on how settled she is. It’s based on who she is. The first night I met her, I knew I was crazy about her. And that was before I knew she had kids or that she was eight years older than me.
Who the fuck cares if I’m skipping to the good part? This woman has me smiling like never before with just one text message. Someone like that is worth taking a chance on. She and I can figure out all the other stuff later.
Until then, I make a mental vow to myself that I won’t let anyone else get into my head and try to convince me this is a bad idea.
Because I know deep down, in my soul, that this is probably the best thing I’ve ever done.
