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I never talk about my mother.Ever.I didn’t even talk to Simone about her. She knew the basic details but talking about her in depth made me feel like shit.
“I wasn’t ready to be a mother. I can’t do this. I love you but I don’t want this,”she’d told my father before she left that night.
Even though I was only five years old, those words haunt me thirty years later. That the ‘this’ she didn’t want wasme.
“Yes. I was five when she left.”
“I’m sorry, that’s really tough.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say far harsher than I intend and her eyes widen in surprise. She probably assumes we’d be able to bond over not having our mothers around, and not that I’m probably more triggered about the loss of my mother than she is. Through meditation and a brief stint with every religion under the sun that had something to say regarding mortality, Shay has found some peace in her parents’ untimely death.That and a very dark sense of humor.I, however, have not worked through my mommy issues.
“Oh. Sorry.” She frowns.
“I didn’t mean to snap at you, I just…don’t talk about her to anyone.” She nods and wades into deeper water but still stays above it. She moves around for a while and though the silence stretches between us, it’s comfortable. The sounds of the trees rustling and the faint sounds of her pool make me feel calm despite the recent thoughts about my mother.
She makes her way to the steps and gets out of the pool in what looks like slow motion. She adjusts her bottoms and I have to resist the urge to do the same to my dick. Her towel is on the chaise lounge to the right of me so I’m surprised that she moves to my left side. I reach for her towel assuming that she’s going to ask me to hand it to her when I feel drops of water and her body hovering over my lap as she stretches across me to grab her towel. I don’t move an inch while she tries to tempt me by flaunting her body. My eyes dart down for a second, seeing her body in a position over my lap that would be perfect for me to spank her. Slap her barely-covered ass for trying to tempt me when I’m trying to do the right thing.
Is that what this is? Temptation? Is this about me? Or just a cry for a man’s attention after Paxton treated her like shit?Maybe her ego is bruised and she wants to feel like it’s not her fault that Paxton looked outside of their relationship for sex.
I hope she knows it’s not.
I can’t pry my eyes away from her even as shethankfullywraps the towel around herself. She wipes at her wet skin and I try to ignore the way the water slides down her slender figure.
She takes the seat next to me, stretches her long legs in front of her on the lounge, and lets the towel fall from around her. It’s a warmer summer, so it’s still about seventy-five degrees even this late at night and her pool is heated so she’s probably not too cold yet.
Like always, my eyes are drawn to her legs. They sweep up slowly to her torso, not letting my eyes feast for too long on her breasts but long enough that the image is ingrained in my brain. I make it to her eyes and they’re locked on mine. I know I can’t pretend I wasn’t just shamelessly staring at her. She gives me a smile so sexy and sinful before sinking her teeth into that bottom lip and I can feel the rest of my resolve withering.
I clear my throat, shaking the thoughts from my head, and stand to my feet. “Are you done swimming?” I ask her.
“Damian—” Her eyes follow me and I can already hear the question in her voice.
She’s interrupted by sounds from inside of the house and I turn my head just as Veronica comes out of her back door.
“Shay!” she squeals, and sure enough, I see Derek behind her—andJeremy.
“Pool party!” she squeals as she comes skipping towards us. She passes me and makes it to the edge of the pool, wobbling slightly, and for a second, I think she might fall in. I take the few steps to reach her and grab her arm before she falls, keeping her steady and backing her away from the side.
“Uh uh,” I tell her. “Max will kill me if I let you drown.” Max usually camped out in front of the house whenever she was here so he isn’t super close by.
Veronica giggles before turning towards Shay, and when I turn to look at her, I see her eyes fixed on where my hand is wrapped around Veronica’s elbow.
I already know what she’s thinking. That it’s so easy for me to touch Veronica when I rarely touch her. She blinks and the look is gone but I can sense what my instincts are telling me are jealousy and probably a little bit of annoyance towards her friend for popping the intimate bubble Shay and I have been in tonight.
“You guys want to swim?” Veronica calls out to Jeremy and Derek and when they both tell her no, she rolls her eyes. “Well fine!” She looks at Shay. “What happened with Paxton?” She looks back at me and smiles at me. “I’ve got her now.” I don’t think she means to be dismissive. If anything, she’s probably a little mad at me for leaving without her because I know she wants to be there for Shay. “Thank you for getting her out of that.”
“Sure, let’s go in,” Shay says, standing up, and again, I run my gaze over her…quicker this time since we are in mixed company. “I’ll see you in the morning, Damian.”
“Are Derek and Jeremy staying?” I ask. I know nothing is going on between Shay and Jeremy but I can’t help but feel a little spike of jealousy if he’s staying here with her because I have seen the way his eyes run over her when she’s not looking. Maybe it’s just a general appreciation for how beautiful she is, but she’s newly single and he’s probably her closest male friend.
I know how these things go.
“I’ll let you know,” Shay says and the look she’s giving me makes me wonder if she can sense the reason I asked has nothing to do with her safety. “V?”
“Derek, yes, obviously. Is that okay?”
“Mmmhmmm,” she says, her eyes not leaving mine as she grabs her towel.
She turns away from me and links her arm with Veronica as they move into the house, giving me a perfect view of her round ass and the red fabric nestled between her cheeks. She looks over her shoulder, catching me, and when my eyes dart up to meet hers, she gives me a wicked smirk.
