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“Syn.” That one word holds more than just his name. It’s a plea for him to tell me and an admonishment for trying to brush me off. I’m not letting this go.
He realises all of this and sighs, dropping my stare to look at the ground. “The council wasn’t pleased with my actions in the maze. They said I should have left you to die.”
“They did this to you?” I feel sick. While I’m not surprised by what the council said, I never thought they would punish Syn for helping me in the maze. He works for them, yet they treat him like this. I want to rage and scream and demand they be held accountable, but I know nothing good will come of it, nor would he appreciate me stepping in.
“It’s fine, I’m healing,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders. “That’s not what I needed to talk to you about anyway.” He changes the subject, knowing full well that I was about to tell him just how not fine this whole situation is. However, as he glances around to make sure no one’s watching and gestures for me to follow him, my curiosity overrides my anger.
I follow him silently, frowning as we cross the park and make our way to the edge of the town before slipping into the forest that surrounds it. We don’t stop just inside the treeline like I was expecting, moving farther into the dense forest. There’s no one out here save for the two of us, which is exactly what he wanted. Just what does he have to say to me that he had to go to these lengths to ensure privacy?
“If anyone finds out that I’m telling you this, the consequences will be deadly,” he warns, sliding his hands into his back pockets, but the darkness that surrounds him gives away his agitation. “The trials tomorrow, they are not going to be like the previous ones. They are going to make you fight. I don’t know who they have paired you against, but I can guess.”
Oh shit. They are going to make me fight full-grown werewolves, many of which are alphas and have been training for their whole lives. I had expected this at some point, but knowing that it’s going to be tomorrow is something different all together. The anticipation is going to drive me crazy. His last words replay in my mind. I can guess some of the competitors I’m going to have to face. They’ll pick the most vicious ones who already want me dead. Bates comes to mind, and Grove’s two competitors who, unfortunately, are still in the trials.
Although I’m scared, I’m not as terrified as I once would have been. These trials have taught me that I’m a lot stronger than I ever realised. Physically, all of the champions might overpower me, but I’m good at watching people and picking up on their weaknesses. If I play it smart, then I might make it through.
There is one question that keeps playing on my mind, and no matter how much I try to push it aside, it keeps coming back. I should be planning my strategy for tomorrow. However, as I stare at him, the feeling keeps growing.
“Why do you keep helping me?” I finally ask, unable to help myself or hold it back any longer.
I’m expecting all sorts of excuses and deflections, but when he looks up, his face is open and confused. “I don’t know.”
My heart thumps hard in my chest. “I think you do,” I whisper, slowly walking towards him, amazing myself with my confidence. “You feel this connection between us.”
Snarling, he turns on me, his expression showing he’s livid, but I get the feeling it’s not aimed at me. “You have a mate, and I am not it.” Each of his words are sharp and precise, his anger making them harsh. “I had my chance,” he hisses. “She might not have been my goddess blessed mate, but I loved her, and I don’t want that again.” Hissing the last few words, he gestures sharply across his chest as though he’s cutting the invisible connection. If only it were so simple.
My heart breaks for him. His grief is a living thing as his chest heaves and he attempts to hold himself together. Even if it turned out that we were somehow mates, it would never take away the love he had for her. He had a life before me, and I respect that. However, this is a conversation the two of us will have to have another day because I know he’s not in the right mood to hear it now.
I believe him when he says he doesn’t want a mate, and I can even understand it given that his last mate died. He probably feels like he’s betraying her memory, or that having a goddess blessed mate somehow writes off the love he had for her. However, just because he doesn’t want something, that doesn’t stop it from happening. That’s not how the world works. I’m not even sure that we are mates, but our connection is undeniable and only gets stronger the longer we spend together.
I’m not sure what he’s expecting from me after that statement. Perhaps he thinks I’ll just drop the subject, but if that’s the case, then he really doesn’t know me. Making a noise of frustration in the back of his throat, he looks up to the sky as if praying to the goddess for strength when I don’t react the way he was hoping.
“Look, wouldn’t I know if we were mates?” he demands, lifting his top and exposing his muscled chest. “I don’t have a mark.”
Raising my brows, I force myself to move my gaze back up to his face. “I never said that’s what we are,” I retort, but I’m not ready to let this drop. “Now answer my question. Are you telling me you don’t have feelings for me?”
“No…” His voice trails off in a low, rumbling growl, and in the blink of an eye, he’s closed the distance between us as he backs me up against a tree, trapping me with a hand on either side of my body. “I have so many fucking feelings for you it clouds my mind, and my every fucking thought is filled with you.” Lowering his head, he meets my eyes and takes a deep inhale before releasing a shuddering breath. “The way you look, the way you smell, and even just imagining the way you taste has me hard.” He pulls back and stares at me with such longing that I start to reach out to him, my pulse pounding.
My movement seems to have the opposite effect, though, and it breaks whatever spell he was under. Jerking back, he shakes his head, and his anger returns. “No. This is cruel. You’re flaunting something in my face that I can never have. I won’t do this.”
I’m frozen in place as I watch him storm away, my body suddenly cold, missing his proximity. Maybe he’s right. Perhaps I’m looking into this too closely and this is cruel. If he doesn’t want to be with me, then I shouldn’t be trying to force it. I’m just so freaking confused by it all. Why did the goddess tell me he was important? Was it just because he was going to help me through the trials? No, I don’t believe that, and my instincts agree with me. There’s another reason.
Then pull yourself together and go after him! my inner voice demands.
“Syn!” Jogging through the trees, I follow his scent, determined to make him listen to me. Thankfully, he’s not going fast, almost like he was worried about leaving me alone out here, and I catch up with him quickly. “Wait. We need to talk about this.”
Spinning, he glares at me, and that darkness explodes out of him, coating his skin and turning his veins black as it tracks along his skin. “No! I know you think you know who I am, but I’m not.” As if to punctuate his statement, the darkness pulses, and the whites of his eyes turn wholly black. “This can’t happen between us. The council would kill us both. Not to mention yourtruemates.”
He’s trying to scare me off, making himself out to be the villain. He’s made his mind up, but so have I.
“Wait—”
He doesn’t listen, instead striding off towards the town, ending the conversation.
Now it’s my turn to be angry. The presence that lives within me has been suspiciously quiet for the last couple of days, like it was giving me time to rest after the trials. However, Syn’s behaviour seems to have woken it, as it rises with a rage and impatience that takes my breath away. Filling my body before I have the chance to react, she takes over and wipes away my control.
“I said, wait.” The voice that comes out of me is chillingly otherworldly. Power blasts from me, creating a dome of shimmering gold around us. It reminds me of the one I created the night my full powers were released and I met my wolf for the first time. Only this time, instead of my wolf, it contains Syn, stopping him from leaving.
He freezes, taking in the dome as he slowly turns to face me, his expression wary. Although the presence is still controlling my power, she seems to pull back and allow my own thoughts and emotions to come through. She’s never done this before, so I’m a little cautious, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. I’m confused and furious at Syn for how he’s acting, and I’m going to make him listen to me.
