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However, as soon as our eyes meet, that all changes. Something strikes me like lightning, and all other thoughts disappear as an intense feeling rips through my body. It’s not a pain exactly, more like extreme pins and needles all over, and it’s so overwhelming that it takes my breath away. Syn cries out, obviously experiencing the same as he falls to his knees, pressing a hand against his shoulder as he pants, his eyes wide and unfocused.
I don’t move, afraid that if I do, I’ll break the spell that’s surrounding us, so I keep completely still as I watch each of his movements with a predatory focus. After a few minutes that feel like hours, he looks up at me again, agony written across his face.
“Mate,” he whispers brokenly. “You’re my mate.” Sitting back on his heels, he stares up at me, shaking his head. “How? How is this possible?”
I wish I knew the answer. I was right about one thing though. The feeling pulsing through me just now was the mate bond. While Syn was on the ground, I didn’t want to move in case I was feeling it wrong and somehow misunderstood. I needed him to confirm it. It feels so different to how it did with Joel, so much more intense. Perhaps it hit us that much harder because it’s been held back for so long.
“The goddess always told me that you were important, I just didn’t know why,” I explain. “I’m not sure exactly, but I think my shield blocks outside influences, so when it fell over us, it released you, and our eyes met for the first time without you being influenced by anything and it triggered the bond,” I theorise, frowning at the implications. “Someone must have been blocking our connection.”
I have a pretty good idea who’s behind it, and from Syn’s violent cursing, I’m guessing he does too.
“Those fucking assholes.” He pounds his fist into the ground, causing bits of dirt and leaves to fly everywhere. “They have been controlling me ever since my pack died, and now you’re telling me that I was supposed to be bound to you this whole time?”
He looks wrecked and racked with guilt and anger and shame. Pulling back his shirt, he looks over his shoulder to stare down at the mate mark that’s identical to mine. It’s real, he really is my mate.
I hadn’t known I was doing it, but I’ve been slowly moving towards him, and it’s only now that I’m directly in front of him that I realise it. The pull towards him is so much stronger now that no one is interfering with it, and I want to give into it. The fact that someone is able to mess with something as sacred as a true mate bond is bad enough in itself, but knowing that it’s thecouncilwho has that power… How many people are they using it on?
Sinking to my knees before him, I scan his face, feeling no shame for my attraction to him now that I know he was intended for me the whole time.
“I guess we know why we felt so drawn to each other now,” I say softly, a tentative smile on my face. I don’t know why I’m whispering. Perhaps because all of this doesn’t feel real yet.
His eyes are drawn to my smile, to my lips, and I watch as his pupils blow wide and his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. He shakes his head, and my smile falters, giving me an awful sinking feeling in my gut.
“This can’t happen.” The words are so quiet I can almost pretend he didn’t say them, but when his gaze snaps back to my face and he locks eyes with me, I see the apology and agony of what he’s about to do. “We can’t complete the bond.”
With shaky legs, he stands and backs away, leaving me kneeling on the dirty ground.
“What?” His rejection hits me like a physical blow, and my wolf keens in my chest. He doesn’t want me, he doesn’t want us. Over and over, the toxic thoughts start to build, the semi-formed bond aching. Pressing my hand to my chest, I clear my throat before I can speak, unable to meet his gaze any longer. “I’m starting to feel pretty offended by the fact that you’re so horrified I’m your mate.”
There’s so much more that I want to say, but I have no idea how to vocalise it without releasing the tears and hurt his actions are causing.
Seeing how much I’m affected by his words, he curses again. “No, it’s not you, Laelia, I promise,” he whispers softly, closing the distance between us and helping me onto my feet. It’s clear to see he’s torn, but he can’t resist helping his mate when she needs him, the bond softening his heart.
Letting out a long, shuddering breath, he brushes my cheek with his hand, catching a single tear that I hadn’t realised had escaped. He rests his forehead against mine, and I close my eyes and just soak in the sensation of being here with him, our bodies so close together.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers again. “I never wanted to cause you pain.”
When I open my eyes, he pulls back to examine my face, committing it to memory, his finger trailing down my cheek and pressing against my lips.
“If we complete the bond, everyone will be able to sense it, and the council will find out. They won’t allow this.”
That’s the big problem here—the council. In fact, they seem to be the reason behind every issue that we come across here. They shouldn’t have so much power, and the fact that they hide it from everyone only makes things worse.
“We’re goddess blessed, Syn. They can’t do anything about it.” I rest my hands on his chest, needing to keep a physical connection between us. “Besides, if they were blocking our bond in the first place, it’s likely they already know.”
Frustration crosses his face as he screws his eyes shut, shaking his head. “They’ll kill you.” When he opens his eyes, I shudder at the raw emotion that he’s showing me, his grief and fear, as he finally lets down that mask that he wears so well. “I can’t go through losing someone else important to me.”
I’m about to promise him that he won’t lose me, but I’m cut off by a noise in the distance as someone approaches.
“Laelia!” Scott’s voice echoes through the forest, and I curse, realising we’ve been gone far longer than the fifteen minutes I promised. My shield of gold shatters into a thousand tiny lights, disappearing within a moment. It’s only then that I realise I’ve been holding the magic by myself for some time. I’m not sure when the presence in me retreated, but I’ve been fully in control for a while now.
The bond between Syn and I suddenly starts to stretch, like he’s far away and not close enough for me to touch. It doesn’t hurt, but is uncomfortable, and I know he feels the same from his wince. It’s tight, and I can almost imagine the block the council is using to stifle the bond wrapping around us like a boa constrictor. However, now that we know it’s there, they can’t fully hide it from us, not anymore.
Taking a few deep breaths, I back away to put some space between us. The last thing we need is for Scott to stumble across us pressed together. While I trust him not to say anything, that’s a conversation I definitely don’t want to have right now.
Regaining my composure, I point at him threateningly. “This conversation isn’t over.” I take away the sting of the comment with a smile and then flush as he returns it with a wicked smile of his own. Seeing how this affects me, he steps closer despite the fact Scott is getting closer by the second.
“Yes, mate,” he whispers, pressing his lips against mine in a desperate kiss.
