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It only lasts a couple of seconds, but it takes my breath away all the same. Pulling back, he winks at me and spins, stalking towards the town as Scott calls for me again.
“Calm the fuck down,” he shouts back at Scott. “She’s here.”
I watch him disappear with a shake of my head, slowly following behind.
What the hell just happened?
ChapterTwelve
Joel’s hand stills on the small of my back as he digests what I just told him. I knew that this would be a difficult conversation, and he listened in silence as I told him about my encounter with Syn in the forest and what we discovered. I’d taken the coward’s way out and told him while he was zipping up the back of my dress for the celebration tonight, unable to cope with seeing the disappointment on his face.
My body tenses at the silence that only seems to grow. I feel him finish zipping my dress and his deft fingers working on the small button at the top to hold it closed.
“You’re sure?” he asks, walking around until he’s facing me. “There’s no way you’re confused?”
My hands are clasped before me as I look down at the two different pairs of shoes as I pretend that I’m debating which to wear. At least, I was until he asked this. Forgetting my fear of his reaction, I raise a brow and meet his gaze, not even trying to tone down my anger at the question.
“Really?” I can’t quite believe he asked me that. When I saw him for the first time, I knew, deep in my gut, that Joel was my mate. I know Syn and I didn’t find out in a conventional way, but it was clear when our eyes met for the first time without being under a spell that we were mates. For someone who has experienced that feeling already, I’m surprised that Joel would even go there and question if I was feeling the bond correctly.
“Okay, that was a stupid question.” He makes a noise of frustration and sits on the edge of the bed, burying his face in his hands.
Not quite knowing what to do, I bite down on my lower lip as I watch him. I hate causing him any sort of distress, but this is also something that I have no control over. As soon as I got back to the champions’ compound, I knew that I needed to seek him out and tell him. None of this will work without full transparency and honesty, and I aim to start as I wish to go on.
I’m still debating if I should walk over and comfort him or let him work through this himself when he lets out an exhausted sounding breath and lowers his hands. He meets my worried gaze, and when he sees my expression, his face softens and he holds out a hand for me.
“Come here,” he calls, more a request than an order, but one that I willingly follow. Stepping between his legs, I stand before him as he brings his arms around me. With him sitting like this and me standing, I’m just a little taller than him, something that makes me smile.
“It doesn’t surprise me that the council would do something like that,” he murmurs, running one of his hands up and down my arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. “It just makes me wonder what sort of shady shit they are into to be able to do it in the first place.”
This is what’s been bothering me ever since Syn and I left the forest. Now that we’ve acknowledged the bond, I can still feel it despite the block that’s over us. It feels quiet and muted, but it’s still there, and they can’t take that away.Howthe council is able to do this is the worrying part. If they are blocking my and Syn’s bond, then are they doing it to others? It didn’t stop Joel and I from finding each other, which makes me think it’s more specific than just a blanket block over the whole town.
“I’m not mad at you, by the way.” His words snap me from my musings, wiping away the frown that had settled on my face. “I know this is all part of the goddess’s plan and all that.” He pulls me into his arms, and I settle on his knee and rest against his chest, taking a deep breath of his comforting scent. “I just wish it wasn’t fuckinghim.”
And there’s the crux of it all. If I bonded with someone else, I’m sure Joel would have found it much easier to accept. The hatred between him and Syn has always been obvious, far more so than the general attitude of dislike most of the community has towards Syn. It speaks of a history, one I’ve not thought to pry into, but now that they are both my mates, I need to know.
“What’s the deal between you two anyway?”
Joel’s eyes go distant, and so much sadness emits through the bond that I wish I could take it back. In fact, I’m about to tell him not to reply when he starts to speak.
“My sister died because of him.”
Shocked, I examine his face as if it will give me more answers, but all I can see in his expression is pain and anger. I have so many questions, especially since I didn’t even know he had a sister. How did Syn know her, and how did she die?
“Her name was Tami, and she was my older sister. She met a wolf in his pack at a social and fell in love. She switched packs, got pregnant, and was happy.”
I’m already wincing as I prepare for what he’s about to tell me. I can feel him slipping away, getting lost in his memory, so I grip tightly onto his shirt, burying my face into the crook of his neck to keep him anchored with my touch.
“Until one day,” he continues, “Syn trusted the wrong person and a feral wolf tore through the pack. He wasn’t there to protect them, and both her and the baby died because of it.”
My eyes slide closed as he speaks, and I slowly shake my head at the unimaginable grief he must have experienced. I remember when my mother died due to an illness, and although it was years and years ago, it still hurts to know I’ll never see her again. We knew it was coming, and that she was getting worse and wouldn’t get better.
For Joel, it was the opposite, a complete shock. Knowing that your loved one died because of something someone else did, or didn’t do, must be life altering. I understand why he hates Syn. His grief makes it personal, and he needs someone to blame. From what I can comprehend, Syn made a mistake, and both he and his pack paid for it.
“As the pack alpha, he should have known, should have stopped it before it happened, or at least been there to protect them all.”
That must have been when Syn lost his mate too, and the event that led to his downfall. It’s unrealistic to expect Syn to have known that the person he trusted wasn’t trustworthy. He can’t read minds or see into the future, but it’s also very clear that Joel is still grieving for his sister and unborn baby.
Opening my eyes, I shift on his knee and look up at him, cupping his cheeks between my hands and waiting until his gaze meets mine.
