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Joel has been suspiciously quiet during this whole situation, his expression neutral. However, thanks to our bond, I’m able to feel the pure sense of relief that he’s feeling. He’s just happy I’m alive, and he’s decided we’ll deal with whatever comes next together.
Syn pins me with a look that tells me to stop being dense. “Need I remind you why you’re in the trials in the first place?” Pressing his fingers to his temples, he rubs them as if to ward off a headache. “They have accused you of being a witch, and you’re casually using magic in front of everyone.”
He makes it sound like I was flaunting it for frivolous reasons, just to make myself stand out. I hate being the centre of attention, and despite what he seems to think right now, I want to live, so I’ve been attempting to follow the rules like I was told. What I did in that arena was the only way I was going to get out alive. We all know I wasn’t strong enough to fight any of those wolves, and magic was the only option. I don’t mention the fact that I didn’t choose to use the magic or that my body hadn’t been my own during that fight. The presence that lives within me hasn’t been brought up, and I’ve certainly not told them, but they have seen hints of it before, and it has become the elephant in the room.
Huffing out a breath, I glance at Joel and then over my shoulder at Scott for support. “It was the only way I was going to win.”
“Give her a break,” Scott calls wearily, sitting up and rubbing the heels of his hands against his eyes. “She did what she had to. You would have done the same.”
Syn glares daggers at the male, muttering under his breath as he pulls away and starts pacing in earnest. I watch him for a few quiet minutes. All four of us managed to get through to the final ten, although from what I’ve picked up, Scott only just made it through as one of the runners up. None of them had as many matches as me, confirming my theory that the draw for the fights was unfair. Honestly, I’m not surprised the council would stoop to something this low, saving their trump card for last. They didn’t expect me to get through four matches, and when I did, they didn’t think I’d win against the giant they put me against—the giant who almost died by my hand.
“I almost killed someone today.”
The words startle me. I hadn’t meant to say that aloud, but now I have, and I feel everyone’s attention turn to me. We’d all been in our own silent bubbles of contemplation, which I’ve now shattered with my declaration. The full impact of my words hit me, and I look down at my hands as if they are not my own, the memory of how powerful I felt clear in my mind. No one should have that kind of power, it’s not natural.
“It’s never easy.” Joel stands up and crosses to me, finally speaking after being silent for so long. Taking my hand in his, he pulls me up and cups my cheek with his hand. “I still remember the face of the first person I killed,” he admits, his voice quiet and haunted.
This is news. I had no idea he’d killed before, and more than once from the sound of it. However, I find that this doesn’t change my opinion of him. I know Joel, and I can read his soul thanks to our bond, and I know he’s inherently good. He wouldn’t have killed anyone unless he had no other option.
His touch makes me feel better, and I nuzzle against him subconsciously. From the corner of my eye, I see Scott nod, agreeing with Joel. It seems all three of them are familiar with taking a life.
Here is my mate, telling me his story and trying to make me feel better when really the situation is totally different. I should tell them that I wasn’t in control, and the thing that lives inside me was. Shaking my head, I take his hand from my cheek but keep it clutched between mine, and when I meet his eyes, I know he can see the struggle in my own.
“No… This is… I…” Shaking my head, I cut myself off. “Iwantedto kill him.” Taking a step back, I glance between the three of them. “There’s something you should all know—”
A knock at the door stops me, and I can’t decide if I’m happy or annoyed by the interruption. Frowning, I walk over, wondering who it could be. I’m not expecting anyone, and the only people allowed in the complex are here with me already. Opening it a fraction, I peer out and find a male in a healer’s uniform. He’s vaguely familiar, and I think I remember seeing him in the healer complex when I was there last.
“Miss Laelia?” he asks, but it’s pretty clear who I am, considering I’m the last female remaining in the trial.
Why would a healer be standing at my door? None of us are injured enough to require a healer, which only leaves one other option—someone who’s not here is hurt.
“Yes. Is it Nicolai? Is he okay?” My voice comes out as a gasp, my thoughts immediately jumping to my injured friend. However, when he doesn’t answer straight away, my mind starts to catastrophise, thinking of all my friends and family who could have been hurt. The council is angry at me, Syn told me that much, so would it really be a surprise if they tried to hurt someone I love? I don’t know why I didn’t consider it before.
The healer attempts to keep his expression neutral, but I don’t miss the grimace he attempts to hide. My heart drops to my stomach. “I’m afraid your friend, Nicolai, has taken a turn for the worse. It’s probably best that you come with me to the compound.” Apology shines at me from his eyes as my worst fears are realised. “He’s asking for you.”
They only say that when someone is really sick and they don’t think they’ll make it.You should come here as soon as you can—those were the exact words used when my mother was dying.
My hands tremble, and my body is cold. I think I might be going into shock. Joel steps up behind me, love and warmth flooding the bond, and he lends me strength as he gently places his hands on my shoulders. Syn’s and Scott’s gazes are heavy on me, and as I turn around to face them, I see them watching me with cautious eyes, their bodies alert and ready to do whatever I need of them.
“Give us a moment to get ready, and we’ll follow you down,” Joel quietly tells the healer while I just stare at the spot at the end of the bed where I’d been sitting only minutes ago. How quickly everything’s changed.
Someone appears in front of me, and I look up and find Scott. His expression is grim as he leads me farther into the room, passing me my shoes and a jacket to put over my shoulders. The sun has gone down now, so it’s a little chilly outside. I’m glad he’s thinking of these things, because with my brain in the state it’s in now, I’d likely walk out of here barefoot. I’m just lacing up my ankle boots when it registers that Joel’s still talking to the healer, and his voice is no longer gentle.
My mate is leaning against the open door, his hands clenched tightly at his sides. Standing, I walk over in time to catch the healer’s response.
“I’m sorry, but you can’t come. Only Laelia has permission to leave the compound.”
Ah, that’s what has him so irritated. My safety is something Joel takes extremely seriously. Someone appears at my side, and I look up to find Syn with a dangerous expression on his face as we listen to Joel’s response.
“I’m not letting her go without at least one of us.”
Syn and Scott make noises of agreement, their expressions saying that this isn’t something they are going to bend on. I’ve been on the receiving end of those looks, so know how intimidating they can be. Even then, I’ve never faced off with all three of them at the same time, so a small part of me feels sympathy for the healer. Mostly, though, I just feel worry and impatience, and the hold-up is making me jittery.
“I’m sorry, Alpha, but I was given very specific instructions that she was to come alone.” I’m mildly impressed by the healer’s even voice, and had it not been for the tick by his eye, I would have believed that the three snarling males didn’t bother him in the slightest.
Stepping forward, Syn pushes past Joel roughly and walks right up to the healer. Of course, the healer has the good sense to quickly step back, wanting to keep as much space between him and Syn. The alpha has a reputation for a reason, after all. In his panic to keep away, he stumbles back until he bumps into the hallway wall behind him with a startled bleat of panic.
Syn, ever the predator, stops right in front of the healer. Leaning forward so closely he’s almost touching the male, the alpha inhales deeply. It’s all to intimidate the other male, and it seems to work. The healer’s eyes are wide as he shoots me a pleading look.
