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Kate looks up and her mum gratefully and I grit my teeth. are they just trying to make me look horrible? If so, they’re definitely succeeding.
Kate looks up at me nervously, and I barely even recognize her. “Actually, Emilia… I… I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you,” she says.
I shake my head and cross my arms over each other. “Oh, don’t be,” I tell her. “I much prefer it that way. Had it been up to me, I would have left both of you standing in front of the front door.”
I smile at Helen humorlessly. “But as I’m sure you would remind me, Helen,” I say. “This isn’t my home. It’s Carter’s.”
Kate swallows hard as her eyes fill with tears and I look away in annoyance. Carter walks in just as a tear drops down her cheek and I laugh. “Perfect timing, as always,” I murmur, my heart filled with hatred.
“What happened?” He asks cautiously, his eyes moving from me to Kate. I glance up at him, my heart breaking. One night… We’ve had one night together. One night, untainted by memories of the past or the reality we’re facing. I should have known it could never last.
“I made your sister cry,” I tell him, feeling lost. I know it won’t matter what I do or say. Kate’s tears will speak louder than any words I can utter. I shake my head and move to walk past him. Carter grabs my wrist and stops me. He pulls me towards him and wraps his arm around me protectively.
He looks at Kate through narrowed eyes and tightens his grip on me. “What did you do?” he asks Kate. She looks at him with wide eyes and shakes her head, and I sigh. I pull away from Carter as more tears drop down Kate’s cheeks.
“I want no part of this,” I tell him, before glancing at Kate. I don’t even have it in me to apologize to her. I knew I should have just gone to my bedroom instead. Kate wipes away her tears furiously and shakes her head at Carter.
“She didn’t do anything,” she tells him, and I roll my eyes. I have neither the time nor the patience for this type of theatrics. I don’t want to get involved at all. I regret speaking to her, I should have just shut up and eaten the pancake.
“Emilia,” Kate says, and I shake my head as I walk away. I’m not playing this game. Not ever again.
I breathe a sigh of relief when my bedroom door closes behind me. I collapse on top of my bed and check the clock. Dad should be waking up soon. He’s the one I should be focusing on, and no one else.
I sit up in surprise when my door opens and Carter walks in, a worried expression on his face. “Hey,” he murmurs. He climbs into my bed and I frown at him.
“What are you doing?” I ask, confused.
He smiles and pulls me closer, wrapping his arms around me. “Didn’t we say that we were going back to bed?”
“What about your mom and your sister?”
Carter’s smile drops and he looks away. “I asked them to leave. I never should have let them in at all.”
I shake my head and look into his eyes. He looks unhappy and worried, and I know I’m the cause of it. “Don’t, Carter,” I say, my voice soft. “Don’t alienate your family on my behalf.”
I pull away from him to look at him, and my heart twists painfully. “My time here is limited. I have no intention of staying. Whatever might be happening between us is temporary. You know that as well as I do. Maybe we shouldn’t even have let it happen at all.”
Carter drops his forehead to mine and inhales deeply. He threads his hand through my hair, his movements frantic. “You’re crazy if you think I’ll ever let you go again.”
I hug him and rest my head on his shoulder, my lips nestled against his neck. “You have to. What would a relationship for us even look like? More of what happened just now? I don’t want that. I don’t ever want to go through that again. I can’t. Besides, my entire life is in London. My entire career is there. You and I… I don’t know what this is, but I know it can’t last.”
Chapter 45
Carter
Emilia was acting distant all day yesterday, and I regret inviting my mother and sister in. It’s obvious that Emilia hates being around them, and I want her to feel at home here. I want her to consider my home hers.
I walk into the kitchen to find it empty and sigh. I was hoping that she’d be here, that she’d share a cup of coffee with me, if nothing else. I turn the coffee machine on, hoping she might come down soon, but she doesn’t. I stare at the coffee cup that I’ve been using for years, every memory with Emilia still fresh in my mind. Am I being selfish by pursuing her again? I still remember the way she lost her spirit day by day, the way she’d cry herself to sleep, the way she’d bite down on her lip hard enough to draw blood when Kate’s words wounded her. What am I doing, reminding her of everything she went through?
She’s here for her dad. There’s a reason I didn’t go after her, and there’s a reason she hasn’t returned in years. Emilia deserves better than me. She deserves to have everything she’s ever wanted, and I can’t give her that. I can’t ask her to live a life where she’s forced to endure my family, and I can’t abandon them either. She’s right. Whatever there is between us is temporary, but is even that asking for too much?
My heart starts to race when I hear sounds coming from the hallway, and I turn, a smile on my face. John walks in, and my smile crumbles.
He looks at me with raised brows and then smiles. “Expecting someone else?”
I look at him through narrowed eyes and then look away. “No. Of course not.”
He chuckles as he fills the kettle to make himself a cup of tea. “Emilia is usually already up by now,” he says. “I thought she’d be down by now.”
