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Asher sits down at the edge of the coffee table and looks at me sternly. I hate it when he gets all serious on me.
“If you were gonna be like this, why the hell did you let her walk away? You’re a fucking moron. This is Emilia we’re talking about. The same girl you’ve been in love with your entire life. The girl you’re fucking crazy about loves you back, and you let her walk away? You let her end things? Are you stupid?”
I groan and drop my arm over my eyes. “It’s not that simple. Do you have any idea how much my mother loves Emilia? Fuck, can’t you see what it’d do to Kate and Emilia’s relationship if we started dating? Their friendship only just recovered. I was in part to blame for the way Gabby manipulated her. I can’t be responsible for taking another friend from her.”
Asher sighs. “Carter, you two aren’t kids anymore. Your Mom would be happier than you’d be if you two dated. Pretty sure she always planned on having Emilia as her daughter-in-law someday, just not when you were teenagers. And Kate… well, she does have a propensity toward selfishness. I literally have no idea how she might react, but she’s not a child. She’ll get over it.”
He rises and kicks my leg. “Get up, dude. You fucking stink. I don’t get what’s wrong with you, man. Why the fuck are you acting like you and Emilia breaking up is a given? All these things you’re worried about are only an issue if you two ever break up. Even my pessimistic ass can’t see that ever happening. You two are so fucking obsessed with each other. It’s about time you finally date.”
I sit up and run a hand through my hair. Part of me wants to believe him. Part of me wants to believe that Emilia and I can be together, but I don’t dare to hope. I gave her my heart when we were younger. She wouldn’t date me, but she was with someone else just a few months later. I want to believe that she means what she says, and that she truly does love me. But what if I’m wrong again? What if her feelings are as fickle as they were back then? What if we start dating and end up losing it all? I know I’m an asshole. I’d disappoint her in a million different ways, and eventually she’d leave me. Can I risk breaking my mother and my sister’s hearts just on the off chance that we might work out? I know I shouldn’t, but God, I want to.
“Okay, if you’re going to act all heartbroken, we might as well go out,” Asher says. He pushes me toward my bedroom and grins. “Noah is throwing another one of his big ass parties. Let’s go.”
I drag my feet as I get ready. I don’t want to go. I just want to lie on the sofa and watch reruns of Friends, but Asher isn’t having it.
The party is loud and packed, and I’m so not in the mood for it. I recognize a couple of the girls that are looking at me with interest, but I can’t even imagine being with anyone that isn’t Emilia. I ignore them and walk straight to the kitchen. I already need another fucking drink. Asher shakes his head and pours me a drink, only to freeze all of a sudden.
I follow his gaze and find Kate in some guy’s arms. She’s dancing and giggling. I narrow my eyes and try to get a better look. “Is she with fucking Jake?” I say through gritted teeth.
I glance at Asher and clap him on the back. His face is white and he looks as devastated as I’ve probably been looking all week. “What the hell is happening between you two?” I ask.
Asher shakes his head. “We ended things a few weeks ago. I don’t know, man. I guess she just lost interest or something. I wasn’t fun enough.”
I frown and pour him a drink. “My sister is a fucking asshole,” I tell him, meaning every word. I love her to bits, but she’s a dick. Only Emilia thinks she’s an angel. Asher taps his cup against mine and empties it in one go before refilling it. I bite back a smile. He took me out to cheer me up, but it looks like he’s the one that needs some support now.
I glance back at Kate and shake my head. “Be right back,” I tell Asher. Kate doesn’t notice me until I’m standing right behind her. I tap her on the shoulder and she looks at me wide eyed.
“Carter… I didn’t realize you were coming today.”
Jake grins up at me and tries to shake my hand, but I ignore him. “Why are you with him?” I ask.
Kate smiles up at me. “We’re just dancing, that’s all.”
I grit my teeth and look at Jake in annoyance before looking back at Kate. She grins at me and shakes her head.
“I promise, it’s just dancing. I’m just having a bit of fun. Balance, right?”
I nod and look at her through narrowed eyes. “Fine,” I say, shaking my head.
I shoot Jake a warning look and he tenses. He’s a thin, puny little guy. Even if he’s got something to say, he wouldn’t dare.
“If I find out you two do any more than dancing, I’ll find you,” I tell him, a bright smile on my face. Jake grits his teeth and looks away. Kate pushes against my arm and I shake my head as I walk away. I don’t want her hanging out with him at all, but it’s not my choice to make. All I can do is warn her and keep an eye on her.
I glance around the room as I walk back to Asher. In the back of my mind, I can’t help but think that Emilia must be here if Kate is. I want to see her. I’ve missed her like fucking crazy. We haven’t so much as texted in a full week now. I’ve gotten so used to having a dose of her every day. Even when we don’t see each other, we usually at least call or text.
I tense when Mason walks into the kitchen with a shit-eating grin on his face. He heads straight toward me and I already want to punch him in the face. “Carter, my boy,” he says, smiling even wider. I look at him blankly. I just know some utter bullshit is about to come out of his mouth. “Heard Emilia finally ditched your ass. I’m so glad she’s finally available now.”
I move without thinking and grab the collar of his shirt. “If you so much as go near her, I’ll fucking kill you, Mason. Don’t you dare mess with her.”
Mason chuckles and pulls himself out of my grasp. “Aw, Carter. You seem to be under the impression that you still have a hold over her. The second you let her go is the second you lost the right to keep me away. Hell, if anything, you’ve paved the way for me, man. After pouring her heart out to you and getting rejected, I’ll look like freaking Prince Charming to her.”
He laughs and takes a big swig of his drink while I grit my teeth and try my best to remain in control of my temper. I so badly want to wipe the floor with his damn face.
Mason looks at me provocatively and then walks out, as though he knows he just accomplished what he set out to do. I close my eyes and inhale deeply. What the fuck did I do? How could I have let her go?
Chapter 30
Carter
