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Everything I’ve done hits me at once, knocking the air out of me. I drop down on the bed and the tears begin to fall again. Only this time, they are not over the news Neo just shared with me; they’re all because of what I did to get that information. And even if I had nothing to gain from it, I think I would have had sex with Neo anyway.
My face buries into my hands, my cries ringing through the empty space between my fingers. “I messed up, you guys. I really messed up.”
When the weight of the mattress shifts, I look to my left and see that Crew has taken a seat on one side of me, while Jagger sits on the other side. “I owe you both a huge apology. I should have never pushed either of you away, but selfishly, I did.”
“I always knew there was a reason, baby. Just wanted to give you the time you needed.” Crew curls his fingers around mine and holds them in my lap.
“I never wanted Neo. I mean…not a relationship, or really anything for that matter.” Saying it aloud makes me realize how untrue that is. Neo has been in my head for days. I chalk it up to being around him so much, but it’s more than that. Tonight wasn’t just about him holding a secret over my head. I wanted him, and in the worst way, I got him.
“He forced you to end things with us, didn’t he?” This time, it’s Jagger who speaks, but his voice is not one of sympathy, it’s laced with anger, as it should be. With his arms draped at his side, he clenches his tee shirt tightly in one hand. So tightly, the white of his knuckles protrude. It kills me that I’ve hurt him so badly.
It’s time to be honest. I don’t expect them to forgive me for what I’ve done because I’m not even sure I can forgive myself, but I owe them the truth about what I’ve done and who I am.
I glance at Crew, then Jagger, before saying, “There’s something you both need to know.”
They don't say anything, just wait impatiently to hear what I have to say.“This is going to come as a shock, and I don’t expect you to believe it, but…”
Jagger rolls his hand in the air. “But what? Out with it already.”
I swallow hard before saying, “Maddie’s awake.”
Crew’s eyes snap to mine. “What? Maddie’s awake? How do you know this?”
“Because she’s here, at The Academy. She was never missing.” I wipe my dewy eyes and sniffle. “A doctor informed Neo that Maddie was being kept in a medically-induced coma. He got her out of the home, and once she was no longer receiving the sedative through her IV, she woke up.”
“Wait.” Crew shakes his head, finding this hard to believe, much like I did when I first saw her here. “Maddie’s here?”
Jagger pulls his shirt over his head and doesn’t say anything. Once it’s in place, he just stands with his eyebrows tightly knitted and his hands in the front pocket of his black jeans.
“Yeah. She’s here. I’ve seen her. Talked with her. Laughed. Cried.”
Crew paces a few steps, keeping his thoughts to himself, but I wish more than anything I could hear them.
I’m watching Crew intently, when Jagger finally speaks, his tone harsh. “Of course he did. It’s fucking Neo.” His attention shifts to me. “And you knew all along?”
“I wanted to tell you guys—”
“But you didn’t. Instead, you pushed us away, while you and Neo played house with Maddie. Is that right?”
I walk closer to him and reach for his hand, but he jerks it back. “Don’t.”
“It’s not like that Jagger. Neo blackmailed me.”
Crew’s body movements freeze momentarily. “Blackmailed you with what?”
My heart pangs at the memory of what Neo told me. It’s still so raw, and I’m not even sure if there’s any truth behind it, but nonetheless, I feel the sting of his words deep inside me.
“Did you fuck him?” Jagger asks, point-blankly.
I’m taken aback by his question, not really expecting it. My mouth falls open, but all that comes out is, “I…”
“Did you fuck him?” he repeats. “It’s a simple yes or no question.” His hand extends and he flips my hair to the side, exposing the mark on my neck.
Jagger accepts my silence and the hickey as an answer. His lips draw back and he bares his teeth. “Unfucking believable, Scar.”
I grab his arm, but he tears it away. “You’ve got some nerve coming in here and attacking me because you thought I slept with another girl, which I didn’t, by the way.” With his shoulders drawn back, chest inflated, he barrels for the door and doesn’t stop.
“Jagger, wait.” I attempt to go after him, but I’m stopped when Crew throws an arm out in front of me.
