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“You must have really laughed at me,” I said. “Don’t ever contact me or any of my family members again. You can write what you want about us.”
She keeps her gaze down. Crocodile tears run down her cheeks.
I turn and go to my car. I refuse to look at her as I drive off. I must be the unluckiest fucker who ever walked the earth. She was the first woman that I’ve ever fallen completely in love with. Left myself vulnerable to. Let her see all of me. The one woman I do that for turns out to be an imposter. A fake.
My anger ebbs away and is replaced by deep sadness. The kind of sadness I never thought a person could feel. As I drive home, things that were a mystery start to make sense. Marcus and Charlotte. Chris. Their reluctance to have a conversation with me and get to know me. All along they knew what Olivia was doing and they were probably under firm instructions not to mess up. Did they all sit down afterward and laugh at me? Olivia’s reluctance to discuss the future. I remember how I insisted that she send her work to Ivy to get some feedback. I feel like such a fool.
No wonder she didn’t want to discuss her future. She’s already an established writer. I hate myself even more when I think about how I contacted Adam and he actually offered Olivia a job. Compared to Lifestyle, his publication is tiny. That must have given her a huge laugh.
I can’t let myself be sidetracked by my emotions. Yes, it fucking hurts but what matters now is the clinic. I have to speak to Ivy and find out for myself what exactly will be published about our clinic.
Chapter 36: Olivia
As Amelia predicted, the story of The Anderson Clinic was big but not in the way she had thought. What it did was bring about a conversation about fertility clinics and the services they do. Because of Ivy’s story and the profiles of women and couples who have been treated at the clinic, they stopped being cast as the villain.
Susan and Mike’s story as well as Ivy’s and Alec’s were big, but Melissa’s was huge. We’re her story in multiple parts and people are reading it like a series. She’s shown all of it. Her vulnerability, her fears, and her hopes. We’re all rooting for her now. I can’t wait for the edition that I’m holding now to go out into the world. She’s finally pregnant. Our popularity has shot up and we’ve inched into the top spot of the most widely-read lifestyle magazine in Chicago.
I have my own column now where I showcase profiles of ordinary people doing extraordinary things. I should be happy. I’m writing the pieces I’ve always wanted to write. I’m excited to pitch new ideas at our editorial meetings, but I’m not happy. My career was everything but now it doesn’t feel important at all.
I lost too much. I sacrificed the love of my life to get ahead and I can tell you now that it is nowhere near worth it.
I wrap up for the day and carrying my laptop case, I wave goodbye to my colleagues who are working late and head to the basement parking.
I’m glad that I’m invited to dinner at Marcus and Charlotte’s place as I can’t bear my own company tonight. I can handle weekdays but weekends are horrible. The loneliness really kicks in no matter how busy I try to make myself and on days like today, nothing works.
I go straight to the house and after I park my car, I trudge to the front door. The door swings open before I knock and Charlotte appears.
“Oh, honey,” she says. “I hate seeing you like this.”
I frown, completely lost. “What are you talking about?”
“I was watching you walk up from your car. You look as if you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.”
“That’s how I feel.” I step into the house. I’m so tired. I can’t explain the exhaustion I feel. When I’m not tired, I’m craving Jace with such intensity that all I can do is cry.
“Can you not talk to him? Make him understand that you might have been undercover but the feelings were real,” Charlotte says.
“It’s been two months. Jace has had a lot of time to think things through. He still believes I made a fool of him. I don’t blame him. I’d think the same.”
I lead the way to the kitchen which is where we all gather to eat and talk. Marcus is at the stove, stirring something that smells delicious. I go to him and hug him from the side.
“Hey, big brother,” I say. “How is it that you two are home on a Friday? Don’t you have an event?” I slide onto a stool.
Charlotte and Marcus exchange a look that makes me feel like an interloper. Then she turns to me. “We’ve learned how to delegate. The company grew but we didn’t put systems in place. Well, Marcus and I have changed how we do things. We’re determined to spend more time together, especially now.”
They exchange another special look. That never used to bother me in the past but after my affair with Jace, I see things through different lenses. I know how it feels like to have that special person who thinks about you all the time. The person who worries about you and asks you if you got safely to where you’re going. I feel lost without Jace.
“We have some great news, Olivia. I hope it’ll cheer you up,” Charlotte says.
My spirits lift as a seed of suspicion grows in my mind. I really hope that it’s what I think it is. “Tell me.”
Charlotte’s hand goes to her belly. “You’re going to be an Aunty.”
I scream so loud it only hits me later that the neighbors might think that someone is being murdered. I jump from my stool and go to Charlotte, and throw my arms around her.
I pull away and break into a dance. “I’m going to be an Aunty.”
Charlotte joins in and so does Marcus after some coaxing from his wife. I want to emulate Jace. I remember how Ryder shouted when his Uncle entered the house and raced downstairs for a hug and to see what was in the shopping bag. The memory makes me smile.
