AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I know you asked me to come home in an attempt to get us back together.”
“What? You’re cray-cray.” The sarcastic tone of her voice cracks me up. “Seriously, you know we all rooted for you two. You loved him. And he loved you.Andyou were both too stubborn to see the fact that it was time for you to come home.”
“I know.”
“Besides that. We really did need to hire—wait, what? You’re agreeing with me?” She takes her eyes off the road for a second to look at me and then turns her attention back to driving.
“Yeah. I mean, why else wouldn’t I have been able to have a relationship? I loved him. And have always loved him. I mean let’s be realistic, things aren’t going to be easy. They never were with me and Jake. I just have to… fight for it, I guess.”
“Okay. Well, you know I’m all for it. Now let’s go take care of Nikki.”
It isn’t an easy visit. Nikki cries, and their son doesn’t understand what’s happening. He isn’t old enough, and my heart breaks for Nikki who still has to figure out how to explain to him that his father is never coming home.
“Thank you,” Nikki says as we are getting ready to go a little while later. “Maya, you’ve done so much for us already. I mean, you delivered my son. You’ve always been there. Now this.” She cries, trying to wipe her face with the long-sleeved shirt that she is wearing. When she sees that it’s futile, she stops. “You’ll be at the funeral?”
“Of course we will.”
“Thank you.” She hugs both me and Maya before we leave. I don’t make it down the front steps before I’m crying, and I see that Maya is too.
“I love her. So much. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost Brian,” Maya cries. “I couldn’t be as strong as she is.”
“It’s hard. Losing someone you love. My mom was a mess for a long time after my dad died. But you have to be strong when you have children. I know Dustin would want her to be happy. And his family will be there for her.”
* * *
Jake
I take my seat in the first row of St. John’s Catholic Church and listen as the priest starts the funeral service. Dressed in my freshly pressed uniform, my hand strays to my left breast where my badge is pinned into place with a black band around it. Every member of the department, the county, and most of the officers from the state are sitting in the pews and standing along the back of the expansive parish.
After the priest is finished, he asks for Nikki to stand and say a few words. Even though it has to be the hardest thing she has ever done, I admire the fact that she stands tall in front of the podium with a small grin on her face. Her eyes are swollen, and there are tears running down her cheeks, no makeup in sight.
“Thank you, everyone. For caring enough about my husband to come say goodbye. He always bet me that no one would show up. And he asked me that in the instance that no one showed up that I fill the seats with stuffed animals. I’m glad we didn’t have to do that today.” She sobs and then laughs through her pain.
“Dustin always told me that if he died, he wanted someone to make sure he was buried in his Grateful Dead t-shirt because he didn’t want one of ‘those assholes’—sorry, Father—stealing it from him. And he means you, Brian. He also wanted a sign for his coffin that said ‘Do Not Disturb’ and a few other ridiculous requests like me mailing his ashes to the North Pole.” Nikki looks up at the ceiling and wipes the fresh tears from her eyes before continuing. “Obviously, we talked about what would happen if he died in the line of duty. I just hoped that it would never happen. But I was wrong. Our child, though. He’s going to know his daddy was a good man. And that’s all that matters.” She starts crying, sobs racking her body.
Aaron, Dustin’s brother, gets up from his spot in the first row and goes to her to offer support. She grabs his hand, squeezing it with all her might, and after a few moments she is able to continue.
“I don’t blame you. Any of you.” Nikki looks directly in my eyes. “I want you to know that. He knew the dangers of his job. He knew and he still went. Every day. He was proud to wear his uniform. Proud of what it represented. Even when it was hard and he thought about giving up. He still put it on and went to work. And I loved that most of all.” She finishes speaking, letting Aaron pull her into a hug and guide her to where her son is sitting.
I stand up, knowing that I have to speak on behalf of not only the department, but as one of the men who was with him at the end. As I look out over the crowd of people who have gathered in the church to mourn an officer, I feel my throat clog with emotion.
“I loved Dustin. I trained him, made sure that when he wanted to go to the Maine Drug Enforcement Agency, he had a fair chance. He was my brother. He was a good man, a good friend, and an exemplary police officer. He will be missed.” Before I get any more choked up, I stop.
After others speak, many of them friends wanting to share memories, I make my way to Nikki’s side.
“Nikki,” I say, reaching for her.
“Jake.” She comes into my arms and lets me hold her in a tight embrace.
“I swear to you, I’ll find the man who did this. I’m sorry I didn’t catch him when it happened.”
“No. You did what you had to do. You tried to save my husband. You and Logan. Do not apologize for that. You catch that bastard, and you make him pay.” She looks up at me, and I’m struck by the fierce look in her eyes. “I don’t want to raise my child in a world where the man who killed his father walks around as a free man.”
“I promise, Nik. We’re going to do everything we can.”
“Good.” She lets go of me and stands on tiptoe to kiss my cheek. “I heard you finally pulled your head out of your ass where Margot is concerned. Don’t waste this second chance… or I’ll hurt you.” She moves away, letting the next person approach her to pay their respects.
Shaking my head, I walk away. The women in my life are constantly surprising me. Nikki is no different. Instead of shutting down and keeping the world out, she is embracing the help and love from her family and friends. It will help her heal, more than any amount of drugs or therapy can.
