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CHAPTER1
Emma
The nurse’s station phone rang, piercing the quiet of the waiting room, making me jump in the hard, plastic chair.
What the fuck was I even doing here? It wasn’t like Jake’s accident had anything to do with me, not this time. When Jake ended up in hospital ten years ago, after another car crash, that had been the end of our relationship. Not to mention the shattering of my heart.
Yet here I was. Tuning out the murmured conversation from the nurses. Trying my best to ignore the incessant beeping of the various hospital machines. Desperately trying not to twist my hands with anxiety. Or bite my nails. Or grind my teeth. But holy fuck, I was anxious.
It was also very possible that I was more than a little triggered by the whole thing, given what had happened with Jake before. So yeah, why was I sitting in the waiting room with Jake’s brother Gabe, Gabe’s new wife Ally and his 8-year-old son Jesse? Not to mention all the Coopers, the family that had fostered Gabe and Jake when their mother died: the parents, Ellen and Bruce, their son Matt and his wife Zara. Their daughter Lucy and her husband Dante with their baby daughter, Sophie. Elissa, whose husband Tom was at home with their three kids. And Claire, whose wife Jen was at home with their baby.
Looking around the room, I was very much the odd one out as “the ex” that had barely spoken to Jake in the past decade. Honestly, I had no right to be there. But I simply couldn’t stay away. I needed to know that Jake had pulled through. That the airlift to hospital had gone fine, and he would recover.
Squirming in the hard, uncomfortable chair, I couldn’t stop chewing on my thumbnail or bouncing my leg restlessly. I wanted to get up and pace but didn’t want to draw too much attention to myself. Ally reached over and pulled my hand away from my mouth, giving me a tense smile, her dark eyes full of sympathy. I smiled back. I’d told her not two days ago that I was trying to kick the nail-biting habit, and she was only trying to help. But dammit, not biting my nails just meant twisting my hands in my lap and bouncing my leg even more. Christ, I was a wreck.
I wished I could run away. Retreat. Like I had done so many times since the breakup.
“Mr. Walker?”
I turned around at the gruff, authoritative tone and acid churned in my gut. What were the cops doing here?
Gabe stood. “That’s me.” His tone was neutral, respectful, but I could only imagine how he was feeling. We’d been down this road before. Hospital. Police.“He was over the legal limit, but given his age, lack of a prior record, and the fact that no one else was injured, he’ll be let off with only a warning.”
Surely Jake hadn’t been drinking this time. During work? In the middle of the day?
“How’s your brother doing?” The female cop looked to be about twenty-five years old, with short blond hair and shrewd blue eyes. “He looked pretty banged up at the scene.”
“We’re still waiting to hear.” All we knew was that Jake had been in a bad accident and had been airlifted to the hospital in Raleigh.
“Can we help you?” Ally stood, slipping her hand in Gabe’s.
The other cop, a middle-aged man with a beer belly and kind brown eyes, flicked a glance around the room. If only he knew that every person in that waiting room was so quiet because we were terrified of history repeating itself. “We just thought you’d like to know, we’ve arrested the driver of the other vehicle. Eyewitness accounts were pretty clear. He ran a red light and chances are good it’s because he was texting.”
Gabe’s shoulders dropped. “I see. Thank you.”
“No problem. Well, good luck. We just wanted to check in, see how the kid was, and thought you’d want to know about the other driver.” He extended a hand and Gabe shook it.
“Thanks, I appreciate that.”
“We’ll be back when he’s well enough to give us a statement.”
They left, and we went back to waiting. There was one thought dominating my mind:If he dies—
I cut it off ruthlessly. I needed to get out of there, but at the same time, I needed to stay exactly where I was. Until we knew. Until any axe fell. After that…
“I need to go to the bathroom,” Ally said softly.
“I’ll come with you.” Going to the bathroom might be a weird reprieve, but I’d take what I could get.
At the sink, I splashed water on my face, trying not to catch sight of myself in the mirror. Ally came out of the stall, moving next to me to wash her hands. “How’re you holding up?”
“I’m fine,” I lied.
“Bullshit. Look at yourself.”
I shot a quick glance in the mirror but didn’t like what I saw, so I looked away again just as quickly. My eyes looked bigger than usual, the blue darker, more stricken. Even my hair was a mess, a few stray blond strands escaping my ponytail, hanging around my face. “What do you want me to say?” It came out much angrier than I’d meant it to. “Fuck, sorry. I’m not fine, but there’s nothing I can do about it, is there?”
“No, I guess not.” Ally’s eyes were dark with a mix of sympathy and fear. “Christ, Em, what will we do if…if Jake…”
