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“For fuck’s sake, Jake, it’s just one more week. Can you please just keep your shit together for seven more lousy days?”
It was so unlike Gabe to show even the smallest hint of impatience that I knew I must have been pretty bad. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Rinse. Repeat. “Sorry.” What else was I supposed to say?I’m just so fucking confused. The woman I love, who I’ve barely spoken to for ten years, is back to not speaking to me again. And I don’t know what I did. I don’t know how to fix it.The best thing I could do for Emma was leave her the fuck alone, I knew that. But I was too selfish for that.
I pulled out my phone, brought up her number, stared at her name. No. Not yet. But soon.
* * *
Finally. “I’ll be good to get back to work tomorrow.”
Gabe flicked me a look and I thought he was going to argue, but he didn’t. “Suit yourself.”
I huffed out a breath of relief, turning to look out the truck window. I stretched my arm out, wriggling my fingers, loving the feeling of being able to move without the cast. We drove into Esperance, around the golf course that edged the northeast side of town, into the Valley.
I’d spent every day of my life here and, unlike Emma, had never had any thoughts to leave. It was home. There was a time when I thought my life here would look very different, but my own reckless stupidity had changed all of that. All I could do now was play the hand I was dealt. Work, hang out with my brother and his family. And love Emma. From a distance, of course. Nothing had changed in that department.
Despite all of that, though, I pulled out my phone, brought her number up and typed.
Me:Cast is off. Clean bill of health. I’ll be able to start work at your dad’s tomorrow.
I hit send before I could lose my nerve. then I dropped the phone back in my pocket, so I didn’t look too desperate. Fuck, who was I kidding? I pulled it out mere seconds later, glanced at the screen. No reply. No hovering dots to let me know she was typing back. Maybe something had happened with her dad? Should I call and ask? Did she need anything?
Gabe looked at me, glanced down at the phone in my hand, then back at the road. “Something important?”
“What?”
“You’re holding that phone like it’s your prize possession. You waiting on an urgent message or something?”
“No. Just letting Emma know I’ll be able to start working at her place tomorrow.”
Gabe’s eyebrows went up in surprise. “I see.”
Do you, now? And just what do you see, Gabe?“Don’t make a thing of it. I’m just returning the favor. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Never said it did.”
Gabe had this way of pulling out my innermost feelings and making me say things I’d never intended to say, just by staying silent. “Well, you know, it was very good of her to come over most days and check on me. She didn’t have to do that, especially after barely talking to her for all those years since…” I trailed off.
“The accident.”
“Yeah. The accident. Even though she stopped coming by after…” Words failed me again.
“After?” Gabe pulled the truck to the curb in front of my house, switched off the engine, and turned to look at me fixedly.
“Nothing.”
“Even though she stopped coming by after nothing? That makes no sense.”
I shrugged. What could I say? It didn’t make any sense to me, either.
“Do you know what you’re doing here?”
I shot him a look. “With Emma?”
“Yes.”
“I’m notdoinganything. I’m going to go rake some leaves, pull some weeds, and mow her old man’s lawn. That’s it.” No matter how desperate I was to drag her into my arms and kiss her senseless. I pushed the truck door open. “Thanks for the ride.”
“No problem.”
