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Yeah, I definitely needed a chaperone.
CHAPTER12
Emma
The smart thing to do would be to text and say I’d come down with a cold and wouldn’t be able to make it after all. Problem was, when it came to Jake, I was anything but smart. At least everyone was already there, judging by the number of cars in the driveway. And I was proud of myself for at least being smart enough to arrive a little late.
Buffers. We needed as many of those as we could get. Right now, there were more than a dozen, piled onto Jake’s back deck, laughing, chatting, drinking. Excellent. I could ease right in with a friendly, polite nod and sit down next to… Dammit. Not one other single person there, only couples. Awesome.
“Emma!”
Jake’s gaze shot straight to mine as soon as Lucy called my name. “Hey, Luce.” Nodding at Jake in greeting, willing myself to keep it together, I said a general hello to everyone else, and walked over to Lucy on shaky legs, my core clenching. Because that’s what Jake did to me these days. One look from him and I might have an orgasm right there. On the back deck. With everyone watching.
“Skootch over, Dante, so Emma can sit down.”
Thank god for Lucy. I squeezed in next to them, smiling at Dante. He was holding their little baby and she was sound asleep, her tiny face squished into his shoulder.
“How are you, Em?”
“Good thanks, Dante. And I’m guessing you’re pretty terrific.”
He chuckled, rubbing Sophie’s back and pulling back his head to look at her fondly. “Yeah, I’m doing awesome, thanks.”
That made me happy. I’d always had a soft spot for Dante. Always hoped that his sudden departure from Esperance after the accident would lead him somewhere good. And here he was. Drowning in marital bliss and the joys of fatherhood, from what I could see.
That made me look across at Jake, standing at the barbecue, soda bottle in hand, talking to Bruce and Ellen. Had there been anyone for him, after me? Anyone serious? Had he ever thought about getting married? I realized I’d never heard even so much as a whisper of Jake being in a committed relationship since we blew up.
He caught me staring and looked back at me, his face a mask. Impassive. Like he didn’t feel a thing. My presence clearly didn’t set him on fire like his did to mine. I bit my lip and turned away.Fuck you.
“You want a drink, Em?”
“That’d be nice, thanks Zara.”
“Beer, wine? Soda?”
I flicked a quick glance around at everyone else. Not a single drop of alcohol in sight, even though there was obviously some stocked in the fridge, or Zara wouldn’t have offered it. “Soda would be great, thanks.”
It hadn’t escaped my notice that the alcohol consumption at various Cooper gatherings had dropped dramatically. Not that they had ever been big drinkers anyway, but they used to enjoy having a bit of wine or beer when they all got together. Not so much now. It made me wonder if it was because of Jake. To support him.
Like a magnet, my eyes were drawn to him again. And again, he caught me staring and looked back, his face expressionless. Why did that piss me off so much? Maybe because it seemed like he was in total control while I was all hot and bothered over here in my corner. Or maybe it was the memory of that kiss, the way I threw myself at him. And then the way he broke away and didn’t even try to stop me when I fled. Whatever it was, I waswellpast annoyed by it.
The longer the day wore on, the more Jake ignored me, and the more annoyed I got. I was positively seething by the time Ally said she’d bring out the tiramisu for dessert and Jake headed inside. I bolted up from my seat and followed him. Through the living room, down the hallway, into his bedroom.
“What are you doing?” There was that calm tone again, that level gaze.
“Wondering how you can be so goddamn dismissive of me, that’s what I’m doing!”
Surprise flared in his eyes. “Is that a fact? Well, I wonder how you think I’m being dismissive when I can’t get you out of my head. I wonder all kinds of things about you, to be honest.” He stalked towards me, pushing me back against the bedroom door so it snapped shut behind me. Gripping my chin with his thumb and forefinger, he turned my head to the side. “For a start, I wonder if you still wear that perfume I used to love so much.” He leaned in, burying his face in my neck, and breathed deeply. Like he was inhaling my very soul. “Sunflowers, right?” His eyes were glittering when he looked at me.
I nodded wordlessly.
“It doesn’t matter where I am, or what I’m doing, I’m thinking of you. Always.” Sliding his hand down my throat, to the top of my shirt, he said, “I wonder if I can still feel your heart, here, when you’re turned on.” I couldn’t take my eyes off him when he covered my heart with his hand, knowing it was pounding, knowing it was giving me away. “Of course,thatleads me to wondering if you still wear those bras that undo at the front.” With a quick flick of his wrist, he undid the top few buttons of my shirt. “Yes.” He trailed a finger down my sternum, to the clasp. “And then I wonder if I can still undo it as easily as I used to. Like this.”
I actually whimpered as my bra fell open. My breasts ached with the need to feel his hands on me. Fucking desperate, that’s what I was. Pathetic.
“I wonder if I still remember how good your tits feel in my hands.” He covered one breast, squeezing it gently, and I shamelessly pushed myself against him.
I was so turned on, I couldn’t get my thoughts organized into a straight line. Couldn’t run, like I knew I should. Screaming louder than my best cautionary impulses were both my hunger for his touch, and the need to know exactly how far he was going to take things. Was he going to fuck me, here, up against the door with everyone outside? Mere feet away? I’d let him. That much I knew.
