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Picturing Jake, lying in the bed all banged up, distressed, asking for me, was too much. “I’ll see him.”
I followed Gabe down the pristine white hallway, my chest tight as I pushed back the memories that were threatening to overwhelm me. “He’s just through here,” Gabe murmured, gesturing to a partially-open door. “I’ll wait out here. Try not to take too long. I think we’re pushing it with two visitors as it is.”
“Okay,” I whispered. Pulling my hair from its elastic, I scraped my fingers through it before tying it back again.Making yourself pretty? Stalling, more like.Just do it. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. My heart was hammering in my ears as I pushed the door wider and stepped into the room.
Machines beeped incessantly and I cast a quick glance over them. All the numbers looked good. Then I moved to the end of the bed, picking up Jake’s chart and running my eyes down it. Yep, everything looked fine.
And I was still stalling.
“Emma.”
The sound of my name on Jake’s lips like that, coming out in a reed-thin whisper, went straight through me. I dropped the chart and hurried to his side. He had a thick bandage around his head and a first hint of the bruising that was yet to come around his eyes. “Yes. I’m here.”
He moved his hand restlessly, trying to lift it.
“Sssh, don’t do that. You’re all hooked up, you’re gonna pull something out.”
But he wouldn’t stop, so I reached out, covered his hand with my own. Wrapping his fingers around mine, he gave them a weak squeeze. “My… Em.”
I choked back a sob. “Yeah, it’s me.”
He mumbled something else that I couldn’t catch, but he settled down a little, holding my hands on his chest. His breathing grew slower and evened out, so I knew he’d gone back to sleep. Tears blurred my vision and I tried to blink them back. It wasn’t meant to be like this, dammit. We weren’t meant to be virtual strangers to each other. Fuck, it tore at my heart. Unable to help myself, I gently lifted his hand, still in both of mine, and pressed a soft kiss to his palm.
Then I got the fuck out of there.
CHAPTER2
Jake
“Fuck you.” I was a terrible patient, and I knew it. I didn’t do it on purpose, but I was not cut out for lying in a bed, immobile, staring at the ceiling while god-knows-what was being pumped into my veins.
“Now, now.” My brother had the patience of a saint and there was no denying the tinge of amusement in his reply. He’d been talking about the plan for when I came home. Apparently Ellen had organized a cleaning roster, and Ally and Zara had already started stocking my freezer with meals. Bland ones, because supposedly I wasn’t going to be able to cope with more than that. “Emma said—”
“Emma?” I interrupted, forcing my eyes open to look at my brother. They were black and swollen, so that was no mean feat.
“When the doctor told us about your spleen removal, Ellen asked Emma what the recovery would be like, and what you would need, and she said—”
“Emmawas here? At the hospital?”
Gabe frowned. “Yes. Don’t you remember?”
I tried to think.“I’m here.”I had a half-memory when I was still in the recovery room of holding Emma’s hand, her voice soft and light washing over me, but I’d thought it was a hallucination. Fuck. “She was really here?”
“Yeah, she was. You asked for her, not long after the surgery. She came in, sat with you for a few minutes, then left.”
Well damn, that was a shit thing for me to do, after last time. There’s no way I would have done that knowingly. Because, boom, all those years of holding back, avoiding her, were suddenly blown right out of the water. “Has she been back? Since that first day?”
“No.”
I closed my eyes again, trying to pull in as much air as my cracked ribs would allow. “I see.”
I didn’t really see, though. What did her even being here in the first place mean? And why had I asked for her? Well, that part was easily answered, no matter how much I tried to avoid it. But now wasn’t the time to be thinking about that. “How much longer do I need to stay here?”
“Just until tomorrow.”
“Really? That soon?”
“Only if you promise to follow doctor’s orders.”
