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“Oh.” I didn’t know how to process that.
“And for the record, you make me just as hot and horny as you say I make you.”
“Oh,” I said again, frowning. “Then why did you do what you did, after…after what happened at your place, at your barbecue?”
He turned away from me, staring through the windshield. “Because you’re better off without me. I’m no good for you, Emma.”
“I see. So it wasn’t because you didn’t want me?”
He shook his head. That’s when I snorted. I legit snorted. Jake turned back to me, his eyes wide with surprise. “Well, fuck you and the stupid white horse you rode in on, Jake Walker.”
“Huh?”
“Who are you to decide what’s good and not good for me? I mean, howdareyou make a decision like that without even asking me? How dare you make me feel like there’s something wrong with me, like I’m a bug you’d barely deign to wipe off your shoe—”
“Emma—”
“Don’t Emma me!!!” I was in full flight now, nothing was going to stop me. “I am a fully-grown woman with wants and needs. It is entirely my choice how those wants and needs get met. If you don’twantme, fine, that’s your loss. But if you truly are as hot and horny for me as I am for you, how dareyou make a unilateral decision like that without even consulting me? I mean, howdare you?Jesus fucking Christ, Jake, I’m so angry I could punch you. All those feelings I had, wondering why you did that, and made me feel that, only to start pretending I didn’t exist. Do you have any idea how much it hurt and confused me? And now to find out that it was actually all because of some stupid, dumb, pathetic misplaced sense ofnobility… It’s fucking infuriating.” I stopped, my chest heaving.
Jake was staring at me, his expression blank.
“Say something, Jake.”
A long pause.
“I’m sorry. Like, really sorry, Em.” There was no denying the sincerity in his voice. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I’d never hurt you like that on purpose.” He shoved his fingers through his hair, his eyes tormented. “I honestly thought it was for the best for you. I’m sorry,” he repeated.
I blew out a breath, forcing myself to release some of the tension that gripped me. “Thank you. It’s not enough of an apology, by the way, because you hurt me a whole fuck of a lot, but it’s a start.”
“Okay.”
It was my turn to stare through the windshield, trying to process this new situation. Time to take charge. “Well… If your apology is as sincere as it seems, you’re going to need to do two things to make it up to me.”
“Anything. Name it.”
I almost smiled at that. “First, you have to promise not to back away like that again. Not ignore me, push me away, play those weird head games with me. No matter how honorable and noble you think you’re being. Can you promise me that?”
He ran his hand through his hair again, still agitated. “Yes, I can promise that.”
Relief and anticipation bloomed in my belly.
“And second?”
“I’m sick of feeling like this, all riled up and confused. I want to get you out of my system once and for all. One weekend. You and me. I want you to fuck me silly.” There. I said it. “Since it seems we’re both ruined for everyone else and are hot and horny as hell, it’s the least you can—”
Before I could finish the sentence, Jake reached across, grabbed fistfuls of the hoodie of his that I was wearing and hauled me over and into his lap. “Jesus, Jake, I didn’t mean we should start right now,” I gasped. His lips descended on mine, hot and demanding, and in that moment, I knew that if he wanted to, I’d let him fuck me right there in the parking lot.
I shoved my fingers through his hair, opened my mouth so he could tangle his tongue with mine. This felt so different to all the other times we’d kissed, or when he’d touched me. There was anticipation in this kiss, a promise, and it was that promise that set me on fire. My core ached, begged for his touch. I was so frustrated that I was dressed, that we were in public, that I couldn’t have what I so desperately needed right now. On instinct, I shifted in Jake’s lap, manoeuvring myself so that I could straddle him. I let out a groan when I felt his cock, hard and thick, pressing between my legs.
“God, I could fuck your brains out right now, I swear,” he growled against my lips.
Rocking my hips, my only answer was a moan. I’d almost forgotten how big he was and couldn’t stop myself from grinding against him shamelessly. Damn, I was close to coming, panting with need. “Please touch me,” I begged, the desire to have his hands all over my bare skin overwhelming me.
He pushed me back enough to lower the zip on his hoodie and push his shirt up, revealing my front-closure bra. He took care of that in under one second, then covered my breasts with his hands, kneading and squeezing until my nipples pebbled against his callused palms and I mewled with pleasure.
A car horn went off and Jake froze for a moment, pulling away from me enough to glance in the rear-view mirror. Tears of frustration burned in my eyes when he let out a stream of curse words and put the truck in drive. Wrapping his other arm around my waist, he held me close while he steered into an empty parking space before cutting the engine. “We’re not done here,” he said, his breath hot against my neck.
“Thank Christ,” I breathed, pressing kisses down his neck, pushing his sweater up so I could run my hands over his chest, grinding myself against his rock-hard erection the whole time.
