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“He was a great guy. Like, seriously, a real hero. Risked his life more than once even just in the time I was there.”
“Fuck, what happened to him?”
Oh shit. I’d made it sound as though he was dead. “Nothing. Last I heard, he was working in Sudan. With his new wife. He didn’t die or anything.” Nope, I’d just ripped his heart out, or so he said. Because I couldn’t feel for him what he felt for me. And the reason for that was sitting next to me, his eyes flat and expressionless as he looked at me. I’d told myself at the time that it was just that it was too soon. I’d tried to rebound too quickly. And that was another steaming pile of bull fucking shit because I’d met Dale fully four years after Jake broke up with me. Said those awful things to me.
“Was it serious?”
“We were engaged.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah.”
“What happened, then?”
You happened. The memories of us kept a cage locked around my heart so tight I couldn’t let anyone else in.“We just weren’t a good fit.” I couldn’t make myself love him, no matter how hard I tried. I’d had a lot of deep and meaningful conversations with myself in the years since, realized that yeah, I still hadn’t gotten over Jake when Dale turned up in my life. The timing was just wrong. Poor Dale. He didn’t deserve the desolation I saw in his eyes when I finally gave him his ring back.
After Dale, I really, honestly believed that I’d moved on from Jake. Now I wasn’t so sure, and that scared the ever-living fuck out of me. “Anyway,” I threw the cushion to the floor and gestured at the television. “This is the climax. So, you know…”
It wasn’t, but I was well and truly done with this conversation.
CHAPTER24
Jake
Don’t go.“Told ya I’d give you fifty.”
“So you did.”
Please stay.“I’m a man of my word.”
“And my body thanks you most sincerely.” Emma smiled at me, her overnight bag slung over her shoulder, her car keys already in her hand. Jesus. The whole thing was awkward as fuck.
I was gripped by an almost overpowering urge to take her into my arms and never let go.That’s not the deal, loser.I stepped forward and opened the front door for her. She seemed a little self-conscious, even shy, when she put her hand on my chest, went up on tiptoe, and brushed her lips lightly across mine. That almost undid me, because I knew this was our last kiss.
She didn’t say anything as she pulled back. What was there to say? Her smile faded, a shadow flickered across her ocean-blue eyes and she stepped away from me. “Bye.”
“Bye.”
And then she was gone. Out to the rain-cleansed evening. I shut the door behind her, unable to bear to watch her leave. The night stretched ahead of me, endlessly lonely. What else was I going to do with it, but torture myself by cutting together all the video I’d taken of Emma?
* * *
Would it have been better to have never had the weekend? There were times over the next few days when I really thought it might have been. Emma’s presence was in every square inch of my fucking house. It tormented me enough that I almost considered selling it, buying a new place to live where I hadn’t fucked Emma in every single room. Well, if I was going to do that, I’d need to burn all my furniture as well. Really start fresh.
To make it all so much worse, the weather had turned shitty, and I couldn’t even burn off all my angst with good, sweaty yard work. There was no way I was going to inflict my sour mood on Gabe, Ally and Jesse. Or anyone else. Maybe if I was a talking kind of guy, I could have asked Gabe to go to Lacey’s with me and we could really have a heart to heart. But I wasn’t, so I didn’t. I just brooded. If brooding had been an Olympic sport, you bet your ass I would have been winning gold.
Until that all turned on a dime.
Emma:Hey
One word and I was leaping to my feet, my heart hammering. Talk about pathetic.
Me:Hey yourself.
Emma:I’ve got a bit of news.
Me:Lay it on me.Jesus, where was I, back in the 1970’s? Pa. The. Tic.
