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She stood in the kitchen for a long moment, her hand still on the handle of the cupboard door. “I’ll get them out anyway, so you have them when you need them.”
Interesting. She was nervous. Because the way it normally went, she came, she gave me the pills right away, I fell asleep, and she left. Now I’d screwed up the routine and she didn’t know what to do. On impulse, when she brought the pills and water to the coffee table, I said, “Will you sit outside with me for a bit?”
She flicked a sceptical glance through the sliding glass door to my back yard. “Seriously? It’s a little cooler today out.”
“Seriously. I’ve hardly been outside, and I think the fresh air would do me good. You know, help my recovery and all that good stuff.” I had her there, she wasn’t going to say no to that.
“Okay, but I’m gonna want a light blanket or something. I didn’t bring a jacket.”
“Help yourself.”
She went down the hallway and came back with a soft throw hung over her shoulder. Pulling the sliding door open, she looked up at the sky doubtfully. “You sure about this?” The low hanging clouds were tinged with dark gray and there was a definite chill in the air. But this was the best chance I’d had in ten years to actually talk to Emma, and I wasn’t about to pass it up, no matter how unwise that was for either of us.
“I’m sure.”
“Okay. I’ll make coffee. You want one?”
“Sure, that’d be great.” I moved outside slowly and carefully lowered myself into an outdoor recliner. Once there, I realized I wasn’t going to be able to pull myself out without assistance. Crap. Maybe Gabe would drop by.
Emma brought the coffees and handed me one. Milk and one sugar. She hadn’t even had to ask how I took it, she remembered. Putting her mug on the table, she arranged herself in the other recliner, covering her legs with the blanket and settling back, wrapping her fingers around the mug and taking a sip. All of this without looking at me.
Maybe this had been a bad idea. It was strained and awkward. I hated that. There was a world of unsaid things between us, making general chit chat virtually impossible. Fishing around for a safe topic, I said, “Ah, so, how’s your dad doing?”
“He’s okay. Trucking along as best he can.”
“Better? Worse??” I didn’t know the exact details, just that Emma’s dad had a lung condition that had escalated dramatically in the last year or two. Which was the only reason she’d spent this long in Esperance, since…
Don’t go there, dude.
“He’s stable, for now. He had an infection last year that was touch and go for a while, but he pulled through. A new medication came out this year that’s helped a lot. He’s much more comfortable.”
“What’s the prognosis overall?”
“Well, it’s cystic fibrosis, so unless a miracle drug is invented, his best hope is going to be a lung transplant.”
“Wow. That’s pretty intense.”
“Yeah, but he’s really good about following all the guidelines, all the doctor’s advice, so he’s the perfect candidate. We’ve got our fingers crossed. Oh, and did you hear that Steven’s moving back?”
“No, really? Never thought I’d see the day.”
“Me either. Do you remember how he couldn’t wait to get out of Esperance the minute he turned eighteen? But he’s got a wife and kids now, and apparently she’s sick of New York. Her family are in Florida but she hates the humidity, so the next best choice was to come here.”
“Will you like that? Having them here?”
“Are you kidding? I’ll love it! I’ll finally get to spend some quality time with my niece and nephew. Plus, Steven has already said he’s rearranging his work to be able to help with Dad. It’ll be amazing.”
“That’s great.”
“Yeah.”
Sitting there, listening to Emma talk, I was almost overwhelmed by the emotions that hit me. It felt so strange to not know all of this about her. Such a contrast to the time when we’d known everything about each other. The big stuff, our hopes and dreams, our fears, our worries. But also the small stuff, the minutiae that made up our daily life together. All of that, gone. I hadn’t even known that it was cystic fibrosis that her dad had. Fucking hell.
“Anyway, enough about me. What’s new with you?”
“Aside from being T-boned by a truck? Not much,” I said wryly. My life had barely changed since our breakup. I’d kept working with Gabe, had some flings, drunk way more than I should have. Drowned all my sorrow and guilt in a river of Budweiser until that didn’t work anymore. Got myself clean as best I could. And here I was. I obviously couldn’t tell her any of that, though. “If you don’t count getting a surprise nephew and a new sister-in-law, that is.”
“How crazy was that? Gabe, just showing up to quote a job and meeting a seven-year-old son he didn’t even know he had!”
