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“Morning.” I lay my head over his heart, listening to the steady beat, sighing when he ran his hands lightly up and down my back. “Might stay here all day,” I said, snuggling in.
“Sounds like a plan.”
I blissed out, utterly relaxed with Jake’s hands gliding over my body. Until I wasn’t. “Oh, fuck.” Throwing the blankets back, I raced into the bathroom, gripping the edge of the basin and throwing up last night’s lasagne.
Jake was right behind me, holding my hair back as we waited for the moment to pass.
“Jesus.” I straightened, turning the tap on and washing my face. While I was brushing my teeth, Jake went and got some shorts on, coming back with my dressing gown. “Thanks.”
“Do another test.”
I shot him a look in the mirror.
“If you’re not pregnant, we’re going to the doctor tomorrow because something is definitely not right with you.”
“Bossy.”
Without another word, he pulled a pregnancy test from the cabinet and handed it to me.
“Fine.” Once he’d closed the door behind him, I did what I had to do and put the lid on the test wand. It was all very perfunctory, since I’d done about a dozen of these by now. It was different to the first few times, though, when I’d felt that burst of hope, mixed with fear. Now I was just doing it to get Jake off my back. Although he wasn’t entirely wrong. There had definitely been something off with me over the last few weeks.
Without even bothering to wait for the test window to process, I came out of the bathroom and threw the stick on the bed next to where Jake was sitting and went to the wardrobe, looking for leggings. “If we don’t fall pregnant soon, I think we should get a puppy.”
“You serious?”
“Yeah, I need something to take my mind off the whole thing. Something to focus on and love. If you want, that is.” I pulled on a sweater over my leggings and went back into the bathroom, hunting for my hairbrush. A puppy. Such a great idea. I could just picture it. Maybe Jake wasn’t keen, since he hadn’t answered me. Jesus, I looked terrible. Those hollowed out cheeks and sunken eyes. It was a wonder Jake even wanted to make a baby with me, looking the way I did.Woah! Don’t talk like that!
“Emma.”
There was something in Jake’s tone that had me going completely still.
“Emma!”
More demanding now. I unfroze from my place in front of the bathroom mirror and walked slowly into the bedroom. Just as slowly, Jake held the test stick out to me. As though I was walking through a thick fog, I stepped over to him and took the stick.
There it was. Just a faint line, but definitely there. “Oh.” My legs turned to jelly and I would have sunk to the floor if Jake hadn’t wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into his lap. I couldn’t stop staring at the result window. “A baby,” I whispered. “We’re going to have a baby.”
“Jesus, Em.” His voice was low and guttural, filled with emotion.
I raised my eyes to Jake’s, and it was only when I saw the absolute joy there that it really hit me. “Oh my god! We’re going to have a baby!” I threw my arms around his neck, half laughing, half crying.
Laughing right back at me, Jake fell back on the bed, taking me with him, burying his face in my hair and holding me tight. “Christ.”
A long moment passed before I raised my head, pressing a kiss to his lips. “All those lost years feel almost worth it, you know.”
“Don’t say that.” He brushed my hair back from my forehead, his touch exquisitely gentle.
“No, I mean it. Because I know what it’s like to be without you, it makes me hold this so much closer. I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone but you.”
Without a word, he reached up to cup my face and pull me forward so he could press a kiss to my forehead. “I wouldn’t want do it with anyone but you, either.”
“You can tell me again how much you love me, then.”
He shot me a mischievous smile. “A fuckton.”
I giggled. “That much, hey? It sounds like a lot.”
His grin faded and his eyes grew dark and intense. “It is.”
My heart skipped a few beats and I had to take a moment to catch my breath. “I love you, too.”
* * *
