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Captivated. Sam had been right when he’d smirked at him before driving home yesterday. “Dan, I’ve never seen you look so gooey-eyed about a girl before.” He’d smacked Dan on the shoulder. “Good to see.”
Gooey-eyed? Dan frowned. This friendship felt a lot more solid than goo. Being with Sarah made him feel assured, more able to be himself, more like the man God wanted him to be: strong, fearless, a warrior.
But as he neared Toronto’s urban sprawl, the questions began.Were they just friends after all? Had this been a pale imitation of a summer romance? Did she really like him, or was he just a substitute for a dead man? He rubbed a hand through his hair. Where would this go? Wherecouldit go?How long was she staying, anyway? With everything they’d discussed, why had they never talked about that?
His stomach twisted. If Sarah went back to Australia and he never saw her again…
Chapter 16
“It’s a gorgeous day,” Ange said, leaning against the deck’s balustrade.
“Mmm.” Sarah gently swung in the hammock. Muskoka was as beautiful as ever, but for some reason it seemed like the color had been dialed down.
“You miss him, don’t you?”
She’d tried to act nonchalant, but her aunt’s wise eyes saw too much. It was crazy how much during this past week she’d longed to see Dan, had kept half expecting him to suddenly appear at their back door or down by the beach. She even missed the putter of his boat. At least that had been a sign that Dan was nearby. Nope, this ache was ridiculous, and she couldn’t afford to indulge it any longer.
She shrugged. “He’s been a good friend.” Despite the chats, the hugs, and that accidental kiss, it couldn’t possibly be more. She’d come here to try and heal from a relationship, not ricochet headlong into another.
“Sarah, it’s been over eighteen months. It’s okay to have…feelings for someone else.”
What were those feelings anyway? “I like him, but I just don’t know.”
“He likes you too.” Ange’s patient face creased into a smile. “He’s a good guy. Stop worrying and over-thinking things and trust God.”
Trust God? Easier said than done. Sarah rubbed at the dull ache in her forehead. At least she wouldn’t be seeing Dan again for a while, his work and training commitments keeping him busy in Toronto. Maybe by then she could sort out this mess of emotions she was in. She’d barely slept the last few nights thinking it through.
Ange peered at her. “You know we’ll visit the city a few times in the next few months. And Dan will likely come here. He usually gets some time off at Christmas.”
Christmas? That seemed years away. “I wasn’t necessarily thinking I’d still be here by then.”
“Oh?” Ange pulled up a chair and sat. “Have you something to get home to?”
“Mum and Dad.”
Ange’s eyes lit. “Or they could come here. Wouldn’t you like to experience a white Christmas?”
Well, yes. But not if this awkwardness with Dan still lingered and he was nearby. “You could mention it. You know Dad always needs time to warm up to ideas.”
“I do.” Amusement creased her aunt’s eyes. “I remember how long he took to propose to Lindy. She was almost ready to pop the question herself.”
“He needs time to adjust to new things, to think through all the ramifications.”
“Not unlike some others I know, eh?” Ange teased.
Sarah rolled her eyes, but it was true. “I just like to be sure.”
“But even then we can’t guarantee things, can we? A person can plan their course, but it’s God who establishes their steps.”
“Is that another way of saying ‘let go and let God’?”
“I certainly don’t mean give up and do nothing. But I do think too many of us cling so tightly to wanting to control every possible outcome that we forget we’re supposed to be living by faith, not by sight.” Ange smiled tenderly. “God loves you, Sarah. He has good plans for you. Let go of the fear and the need to be in control, and trust Him.”
Sarah nodded, throat cinching as the words tumbled through her heart. She exited the hammock to give her aunt a hug. “Thank you.”
“Anytime,” Ange said, patting her back. “It’s good to know I don’t need to write sermons to be able to preach.”
“Amen,” Sarah said. “Speaking of preaching, when does John want that missions presentation for church?”
