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What was going on in the locked vault that was Gabe Walsh’s brain?
Her best guess was that for some reason he regretted their night together and didn’t want to give the impression that he was ready for round two—which he most certainly had not.
That, or his version of going slow was very different from hers.
The only thing to do was to put the whole situation behind her. If he clearly wasn’t interested in a repeat with her, then she shouldn’t be losing sleep over wanting it with him.
Except she was losing sleep. A lot of it. Mostly because she hadn’t anticipated missing him so much. She missed talking to him, hearing about his day, and telling him about hers. She missed their emotional closeness as much as their physical. It was a loneliness she hadn’t predicted and couldn’t dissipate.
With a sigh, she put her paintbrush in water and got up from her painting station where she’d been trying to distract herself. For the first time in forever, it hadn’t worked. When painting didn’t take the edge off, snacking usually did the trick. Ivy would tell her that she needed to get out, go for a run, clear her head, but right now her head was at the mercy of her stomach. Digging through the kitchen cupboards, she sighed in relief when she found the last of her Oreo stash.
Taking four cookies, she poured herself a glass of milk and headed for the couch. Besides the emotional turmoil she’d been feeling over Gabe the last few days, something else had niggled at the back of her mind and heart. Since dinner at the Walshes’, it had become more acute, until it was no longer a niggle but an all-out roar.
She needed to talk to her parents.
Not just the “play-nice-and-make-peace” kind of talk, but the real “rip-your-heart-out-and-lay-it-on-the-table” talk. It was spring now. Months had gone by since the truth came out at Christmas. Years, if she counted the uncertainty she’d endured since her sixteenth birthday. The crack was a decade old. And it was enough. She wanted her family back.
Being with Ruby all these weeks had made her long for her own mother in a way she hadn’t in a long time. And in so many ways, watching Gabe and Ruby interact reminded her of her childhood memories with her own father. He’d been her hero, strong and brave and hard working. The king of their castle. She missed him, too.
And frankly, she was tired of being a huge pain in her brother’s ass. She was tired of hearing the wariness in Joel’s voice whenever he talked to her. Or worse, his irritation. Being the go-between for her and their parents was wearing on him. He’d never admit it, and he’d never stop doing it, because he knew full well that if he didn’t mediate between them, there would be nothing left of Hope’s relationship with Walter and Audrey. But she didn’t want to be a burden in his life.
Joel deserved happiness, a life of his own. For all Hope knew, he had one. Another reminder that she and her brother’s communications revolved solely, and selfishly, around her. She had no idea where his private life stood.
It was time to forgive, make peace, and get the answers to some burning questions she’d been too angry, scared, and proud to ask. Ruby may have been only six and a half, but she’d taught Hope that life was short and relationships with your family were too precious to waste.
Licking the middle off her last cookie, she popped the chocolate wafer into her mouth and downed her milk. When she was done, she dug her phone out of her pocket and thumbed through her contacts until she found the wordMom.
She stared at it for a long moment.
Mom.
Audrey was that, to the core, and Hope was so lucky to have her. Whether by birth or by sheer chance, she was lucky to have a woman like Audrey Morgan mother her.
Taking a deep breath, she hit the call button.
Audrey answered after one ring. “Darling?” she said into the phone, sounding worried, which wasn’t surprising.
Hope hardly phoned anymore, and never without Joel’s prompting, so when she did, Audrey usually expected it.
“Hi, Mom,” Hope said, trying to sound normal. Casual. Like calling your mom was no big deal.
“Hope, what’s wrong?” Audrey asked.
“Nothing.” But the tears that suddenly pricked her eyes and clogged her throat said differently.
Audrey must have heard it in her voice because she said, “Where are you? I’m coming.”
And Hope knew she would. She could be stranded in Timbuktu and Audrey would move heaven and earth to get to her. Another punch of guilt landed right in Hope’s stomach. She’d been so cruel. So hard on her parents. She’d never even given them a chance to truly explain. She had just shrouded herself in hurt and anger and froze them out. Then left.
Wiping her eyes, she shook her head. Not that her mother could see. “No, Mom, I’m fine. I’m still in Portland. Everything is fine. I just wanted…” What? She wasn’t totally sure until the words were coming out of her mouth. “I wanted to confirm that I’ll be home for the benefit. I’ll stay with you and Dad, if that’s okay.”
The silence on the other end lasted so long she thought they might have lost the connection.
When Audrey spoke, her voice was thick with emotion. “Of course you can. We wouldn’t have you stay anywhere else. We’ll pick you up from the airport. Let Dad book you a plane ticket, and we’ll send you the information.”
“No.” She’d worked too hard for the little she had, and she still wasn’t giving up the independence she’d built. “Thank you, but I’ve already booked a flight,” she lied. “I’ll send you the details. I’d love a ride from the airport, though.” She compromised, not wanting to work backward from what she was trying to achieve.
“Absolutely,” Audrey promised, still sounding emotional.
