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“You are set. I need to head out and get my life in order for work tomorrow. You need to stay calm and just do the best you can.” I gather my things and head to the door.
“Let me walk you down.” Nate ushers me down the steps. When he makes it to the road, his hand doesn’t leave my back.“How is Dr. Douche doing?”
“Nate, you know his name. Please stop. I think you two would get along if his schedule wasn’t so busy.”
“I don’t think we have as much in common as you think. Clit better start making time for you. You do deserve the world, Audrina. Remember your worth.” He opens his arms, and I walk in feeling whole for just a few moments.
“I don’t see how that’s any better than Dr. Douche. You know his name is Clint.”
“I don’t see the difference,” he tells me, and against my better judgment, I smirk.
Holding him as we hug goodbye, I don’t want to let go. I’ve been drawn to Nate for so long. This is the only thing that I’ll get with him. I can’t have more. I have Clint. The man I’ve been with for years. The only man that will truly love me and want me. Nate doesn’t. I know that he doesn’t. Clint pointed out that Nate only keeps me around because I’m useful to him. There is nothing more about me that Nate desires or needs.
Clint told me.
Letting go, I give him a fake smile and tell him that he can call me if he has any questions about anything. I turn and get into my car. I want nothing more than to stay here. I want to stay more than anything, but I can’t. What’s the point? It’s not like Nate is really my friend. It’s not like he wants me for anything more than a person to get him what he wants—and what he wants is his kids. I can’t fault him for that. I never would. I wish he had room for me. But he doesn’t.
Clint told me.
Clint’s the only one.
How do I know? Because he told me.
Deciding that I had a hell of a day, I run and get coffee and a scone. My treat to myself when I need a pick-me-up. Getting home, I see that Clint’s car is in the driveway.He’s supposed to be working.Confused, I get into the house as soon as possible to ensure nothing’s wrong.
“Clint?” I call out as I walk through the door.“Clint? Are you—”
“Where the hell were you?”
Taken aback, I stand there for a moment. What does he mean? Where was I?“I was working. Which I thought was what you were doing. Is everything okay? How come you’re home early?”
I set my things and my drink down on the console table and make my way toward him. I can tell that he’s angry, but I don’t know why. I haven’t done anything wrong.Except think about a man that will never love you. Who will never want you? Why tease yourself? Why fantasize when the only one who will ever want you is right here?
“Clint? What’s going on?”
“I saw you! I saw you with your arms wrapped around another man. So, I’ll ask again, where were you?”
He saw me? With Nate? What else could he see? Could he see the desire I allowed myself for just a moment? Did he see the moment I regretted it? Because it wasn’t long after that, I reminded myself about what he’s told me. That no one other than him would ever want me. Doesn’t he understand that I know this? I just get away from myself sometimes. Not sometimes, only with Nate.
“I was giving my friend a hug. He’s going through an intense custody battle and needs support. That’s all. As soon as I said goodbye, I left. I got coffee.” I point to the cup that I placed on the table.“Why didn’t you come over and say something to me? We could have gone together. Why weren’t you at work?”
“What I do with my time doesn’t concern you! You’re forgetting that you are mine, and you’re out there acting like a whore. You already have the only man that will ever want you, but you’re out there on the streets like a goddamn slut.”
I shrink back. I know that he’s right. I was thinking about being with another man—about staying with him instead of coming home. He’s right.
“To top it off, you can’t claim that you were working. You don’t have the lead on this case.”
“How do you…”
“Know?” He cuts me off.“Are you forgetting who my friends are? You are nothing in that office. Hell, the new girl is a better agent than you. Claiming you’re working? You don’t do shit. You don’t help out anyone. It’s about time that you quit playing pretend and accept the fact that you aren’t good at a single fucking thing.”
“I am fantastic at my job,” I whisper. I don’t have anything in mind to back up my words. Only fueling his fire more about how right he is.“I love my job.”
“I don’t care if you love it. You’re terrible at it. You are nothing, especially when you look at my career and my accomplishments. What do you have to show for all the so-called work you’ve done? Not a damn thing. Face it, Audrina, your career choice is a joke. You’re not helping.”
“I am helping! He’s my friend, along with everyone else I help. I’m helping a lot of people keep their families together.”
“No. What you’re doing is standing out on a street corner, looking like a whore, plastering yourself against another man. I am respected in this town. I’m the top-rated doctor in my hospital. You acting like a little slut is something I don’t need associated with my name. I am too good for someone like you.”
