Page 124 of For his Surrender

“I just...” I let the air out of my mouth and take my eyes to Marcos and Isabella just for two seconds before looking back at Graziella. “Is it wrong to want to enjoy this, Grazi?” I ask again, focusing on the image that makes my heart want to leave my chest, run seventy meters and join the laughter that echoes throughout the hall.I deny with my head before I deny with my words. “I know what you’re gonna say, Grazi...”

“You really do, Nel?” The question in her gaze leaves me in doubt. “All right... He’s hot, he fucks well, clearly loves Isabella, apparently retired the emeritus title of asshole when it comes to you... Just go on! Fuck him!Even I can’t keep judging you for that, but this look? Nel… That look on your face...I’ve never seen it and I don’t know if it’s a good idea for it to decide to show up right now.”

“What look? Of happiness?” I frown and Grazi tilts her head.

“Don’t play dumb, because you’re not!”

“I’m not playing anything, Grazi, you’re overreacting!” I laugh, nervous. “What’s that look you’re seeing? For god’s sake!” I blink, slightly stunned.

Grazi raises an eyebrow.

“You—”

“Mommy!” Isabella interrupts her godmother and draws the attention of both of us.

“Come take a picture with us, mommy!” she calls, and I take a few moments to process the request and realize that Marcos has his phone in his hand, probably with the camera on.

I swallow and shake my head, sending Graziella’s unreasonable ideas away. With a nod I indicate what I will do and leave her alone with her nonsense suggestions.

She’s smiling.

Antonella is smiling as she offers a huge cotton candy to a child, and I can’t help but smile as well.As if attracted by my gaze, she raises her head, her eyes meet mine, her smile becomes even bigger, and I wonder when was the last time I had a checkup.I don’t think my heart should change pace that randomly.

The child leaves happily through the park, carrying in her hands a stick with a cloud of cotton candy much larger than her own head, and Antonella walks towards me.The blue and white dress in a plaid fabric descends to half of her calves and is fastened to her waist by a wide brown belt.

The breasts are firm, exposing half circumferences above the square neckline, and the shoulders are practically bare, since the piece has thin straps like lines.And, of course, there’s the goddamn slit.I don’t know what’s Antonella deal with them, but my wife seems to make its existence a prerequisite for a piece to be part of her wardrobe.

The moment she’s reached for my hands, I wrap my arms around her and sink my nose into her neck.Damn, I love the smell of that woman.

“Don’t I get cotton candy?” I ask, and she chuckles.

“Do you want cotton candy, Marcos?”

“Depends, does it have to be on the stick?”

“And where else would it be?”

“In your mouth...” I speak softly, my lips very close to his.

“It would melt before you could taste it,” she whispers in confession.

“Great... That way I could taste only you.”

“So, it’s not cotton candy you want.” Her eyes and lips smile.

“Damn! I was caught!” Another laugh and I take my hand to her cheek.Beautiful and so, so delicious!I’m not talking about the body, the sex.I’m talking about the company, the presence, the gestures, the whole thing.More than two months since the wedding, three weeks since she finally stopped running and it seems like I didn’t have anything from her. Never.

I thought that when I finally had unlimited access to her body that stifling desire would disappear, but it just changed places.Every day I keep wanting more and more.More smiles.More kisses.More of her voice, more of her smell, more of everything, and I don’t know if I want to stop wanting to at some point.

What does this mean?Am I crazy? Because I have no doubt that I’ve lost my mind.I just don’t know if that means I’m going crazy or something else.

“I’m going to kiss you now...” she says, drawing a smile from me. There are rare occasions when she doesn’t look around before doing this, and even understanding the logic of keeping what we’re doing out of Isabella’s eyes, even though I know I agreed with it, even though the feeling doesn’t make any sense, it still exists.I’m finding out I don’t like having to hide with Antonella at all like we’re doing something wrong.

Our lips touch, and the feeling that has become my faithful companion hits me hard.Everything inside me seems to freeze and heat at the same time.It’s too much for me to worry about looking for words that are capable of describing.

Antonella’s tongue does not ask for passage or permission, it invades my mouth, willing to crush everything she encounters along the way sucking, slipping and perfectly massaging.It’s ironic that it’s her kiss that steals my breath since for so long I’ve planned to never kiss her.Baby wife’s my ass. Antonella is a woman in every inch of skin.My woman!

The thought frightens me, and I interrupt the kiss abruptly.Ellaopens her eyes and frowns.

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