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I feel like she knocked the air out of my lungs.
“No,” I say. “It’s nothing. Less than nothing.”
The kitchen door opens with a creak. Lila presses herself against the wall, shooting me a warning glance. There’s no time to dash for the closet, so I step into the kitchen to take whatever’s coming.
Philip smiles from the doorway. “I knew you were here.”
“I just walked in,” I say, even though he knows I’m lying.
He takes a step toward me, and I take a step back. I wonder if he’s going to try to kill me. I hold up my hands, still bare. He doesn’t seem to even notice.
“I need you to tell her,” Philip says, and for a moment I don’t know who he’s talking about. “Tell Maura I was weak. Tell her I’m sorry. Tell her I didn’t know how to stop.”
“I told you I don’t know where Maura is.”
“Fine,” he says tightly. “See you Wednesday night. And, Cassel, maybe you’re pissed off or you have questions, but it’s going to be worth it in the end. Trust us just a little bit longer and you’re going to have everything you ever wanted.”
He walks out and down the hill to Barron’s idling car. Lila walks into the room and puts her hand on my shoulder. I shrug it off.
“We have to get out of here,” she says.
I turn to agree, but she’s already pulling out gloves and a coat from the closet.
14
LATE AFTERNOON SUNLIGHT streams through the window, and I wake up with my head pillowed against blond curls and warm skin. At first I’m so disoriented that I can’t understand who could be next to me and why she doesn’t have many clothes on.
Sam’s closing the door to the room. “Hey, dude,” he says in a whisper.
Lila makes a small gesture of complaint and rolls against the wall, her body sliding against mine, her shirt rucking up. She mashes the pillow over her head.
I dimly recall walking to the convenience store three blocks from my house, calling a cab, and then sitting on the sidewalk to wait, Lila leaning against me. I figured my dorm room was going to be empty for a couple of hours. There was no other place I could think of to go.
“Don’t worry,” Sam says. “I haven’t seen Valerio. But next time put a sock on the door.”
“A sock?”
“My brother says that’s the universal signal for getting some—the nice way to alert your roommate so that he can make other plans for the evening. As opposed to letting your roommate walk in on you.”
“Uh, yeah,” I say, yawning. “Sorry. Sock. I’ll remember.”
“Who is she?” he whispers, indicating her with his chin. “Does she even go to school here?” He drops his voice even lower. “And are you crazy?”
Lila rolls over again and smiles sleepily at Sam. “The uniform’s cute,” she says in her new, rough voice.
Sam flushes.
“I’m Lila, and yes, he’s crazy. But you must have noticed that before now. He was crazy back when I knew him, and he’s obviously gotten crazier over time.” Her gloved fingers tousle my hair.
I grimace. “She’s an old friend. A family friend.”
“Everyone’s coming back,” Sam says, raising his eyebrows. “You and your buddy better get out.”
Lila pushes herself up on her elbow. “You feeling better?” It doesn’t seem to bother her to be half dressed with one leg pressed against me. Maybe she got used to being naked when she was a cat, but I am completely unused to it.
“Yeah,” I say. My ribs are sore, but the pain is duller.
She yawns and stretches up her arms, canting her body to one side and making her spine crack audibly.
